Page 9 of Training the Heart

Have I mentioned—my cranky boss aside—I am in love with his family? They have made me feel so welcome, so of course I said yes when Nash asked me to strum CeCe’s favorite Shania Twain song as he proposed last night. Everyone has been ultra-sweet aside from Wade, but I don’t take it personally because he looks atallof us like it just annoys him to no end that he can’t do absolutely everything on this ranch without help.

It was my pleasure, I had a great time. The Not Angels know how to party.

CECE

Yes, we do it well.

I’m not sure how much fun your brother had though. He didn’t seem too pleased to have to drive me home.

CECE

He’s never pleased, I just tell people it’s part of his charm.

Tell me about it, he even seems annoyed about making a potential derby run, which in my opinion is super exciting and a cause for some serious celebration. Does he even know the word celebrate?

CECE

He’s decided to make a derby run? For sure?

Shit.I type, then stop myself. Then type again.

Well, we’re going horse shopping so I think so? He didn’t tell you?

CECE

I must have missed that announcement.

I think I just shoved my foot in my mouth, so act surprised when he tells you?

CECE

Your secret’s safe with me. Whatever the reason, I’m glad he’s thinking of going for it. We’ll be cheering you on and we’re willing to help any way we can.

Thank you, for not saying anything, and your support.

CECE

Of course. Us girls need to stick together.

For the second time today, Wade catches me off guard. Why wouldn’t he have told his family if he’s already booked us hotel rooms?

My phone buzzes again but this time it’s not Wade’s sister. It’s my ex’s sister.

CHELSEA

I hate to bug you. Brad won’t leave me alone about reaching out to you. I’m sorry to get in the middle and I miss you, I hope you’re doing okay.

I sigh and put my phone back in my pocket.Not today, Satan.

It’s three months since I left Bellingham Ranch and the devil himself, aka Brad. I used to respond to his sister Chelsea and his mother; I actually felt like their family for a time. I try not to be upset with them. I know how persuasive Brad can be when he wants something.

Now I spend my days mostly ignoring them all if they reach out. What I really need is a new cell phone and number. My phone is ancient but it’s all I can afford with the financial obligations still weighing on my shoulders. I tried to block Brad’s number in the beginning, but then he got creative, messaging from his family’s phones or calling me from his ranch. I keep telling myself it will be short-lived. Brad doesn’t do well alone. I’ve been hoping that he’ll find someone new to attach himself to and leave me the hell alone. So far, he hasn’t figured out where I am and I’m hoping he never does.

I go to fetch Nutmeg and start bringing him to his stall as I ask myself for the millionth time how Ieverfell for Brad’s manipulation. I not only fell for it, I dove right in, head first. He’s the Prince of Bellingham Ranch, old money. The kind that seems highbrow on the outside but it’s all really a disguise for what lurks underneath.

Although I didn’t know it at the time, Brad is a narcissist through and through. One with a mean streak, a side I got heavily acquainted with over the last few years. I grew up like many other little girls, hearing the words “don’t ever let a man treatyou poorly.” And “know your self-worth.” I had a great dad who taught me to be strong and bold. But it was so calculating and happened so slowly that I didn’t know the emotional hold Brad had on me until I was in it, deep in it. The more dependent I became on him and his ranch, the less he tried to hide his ways. He played on every insecurity I had and made me somehow believe he was the best chance I would ever have of stability and security.

Somewhere in those years with Brad, I lost my own version of myself—the version I was raised to be. Looking back, I believe now my dad was looking down on me and he helped me leave. When the man I’d known since I was a baby, my mentor at the American Quarter and Thoroughbred Association and one of my dad’s best friends, told me about Silver Pines looking for a new trainer, something in me said,This is your chance. Take it.

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