Page 107 of Training the Heart

“Ivy Spencer,” I say, wishing I could just teleport back to the ranch away from the last encounter I could ever need today.

“Spencer. Are you the new horse trainer on my husband’s ranch?”

“Ex-husband,” Ginger corrects.

Janelle ignores Ginger’s comment and eyes me up and down, really looks at me, and something in me makes me want to smack her. Maybe it’s the mama in me rising up.

“I am the new horse trainer,” I say. “It’s nice to meet you, can’t say I’ve heard much about you from Wade.”

Ginger snorts beside me and raises her hand for another glass of champagne.

“Ivy is helping Wade train a derby horse. She has a real gift, something fresh and totally new for Wade, which is just what he needs in my opinion … in the training department, that is. Wouldn’t be surprised if he decides to keep her on the ranch for a long time,” Ginger says, afuck youglimmer in her eyes.

Janelle looks me up and down. I see it on her face as it registers with her, the moment she realizes Wade might just be more than my boss.

“Well, those Ashby men sure have a lot of women hanging off them, don’t they? Speaking of, how’s Cole, Ginger? Has he finally managed to get through every woman in Kentucky so he can give you that pity fuck you’ve been begging him for, for years?”

Ginger smiles at her.

“Oh honey, wouldn’t you like to know. But I’ll never kiss and tell—I’m a lady, unlike some of the trash just hanging around town these days.”

Janelle just laughs an evil little laugh at Ginger and leans her head back, closing her eyes before she speaks. “You know, I noticed how good Wade’s looking these days, told him as much the other day,” she says as she lifts her feet into her own sudsy bath.

Before I can stop it, my blood instantly boils as I ask myself when she saw Wade. He never mentioned it. Then I scold myself for being jealous.

“Well, that ship has sailed—so sad for you. Too bad you didn’t notice that when you were still his wife,” Ginger quips, not missing a beat.

Janelle opens her eyes and looks at both of us. “Wade’s understanding, that man is loyal to a fault. Been really thinking a lot about him lately, you know. We were talking about giving things another go when we were at Woody’s the other day for ax throwing.”

Wade’s day out with Nash and Cole comes to mind, and I wonder just what was said between them. I know Wade was there; I did not know Janelle was.

Ginger laughs this time, a clear laugh.

“Janelle, that would never happen. Wade may be loyal but he isn’t stupid. He would never give you another chance.”

Janelle leans back in her chair and closes her eyes again, as I ask myself if anything she’s saying is true. She sure seems confident when she smiles and singsongs, “Never say never, Gingy.”

After Ginger and I leave the nail bar and the world’s most awkward pedicure with Wade’s dreadful ex-wife, Ginger proceeds to tell me a million times as we eat our lunch at the local hot spot that Janelle is a compulsive liar and a drama queen, and I shouldn’t give one word she says a second thought.

The funny thing is, I know that. I know how Wade feels,and if I know one other thing about him it’s that he’s honest. I know he would never be interested in his ex-wife, but part of me, the part that is the self-preserving side and feels I can only rely on myself, tells me that maybe she can offer him something I can’t. Then again, maybe that’s just my insecurity talking considering the way I’m going to have to make this fun little relationship we’ve got going very real, very quickly. Too many thoughts run through my head to comprehend.

So now, I’ve just been sitting here for the past hour staring at www.baby.com on my phone, in the Sage and Salt parking lot, reading that mine and Wade’s baby is about the size of a kidney bean and trying to figure out how to face him. I know I have to go back to the ranch. We’re getting Rowan and Angel ready for Florida today, but for some reason every time I go to start the truck, I freeze.

I try to talk myself up, thinking of the advice my dad would give me in this scenario. As I dry my tears and try to straighten myself out, I remember. This man is different from any man I’ve ever known. This man isn’t Brad. If this baby isn’t meant to be, I’ll make it through this. The question is, do I do it on my own and weather things as they come? Or do I make Wade suffer with me? Or do I just wait a few weeks and see what happens, what my ultrasound says?

One thing I know is certain—I’ve always only been able to count on one person, myself. To rely on someone else seems terrifying and my head is such a mess right now.

I reach down and run a hand over my still-flat stomach. To the naked eye, nothing is different, but in my heart, I know I’ll never be the same.

Let’s go, little bean. It’s you and me. Let’s go home.

CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX

Wade

“They’re only little once and I want to spend as much time with them as I can. At least until they start school.”

“I totally understand, and I appreciate how much notice you’re giving me here. Can’t say I’m surprised; I wouldn’t want to leave those little faces every day either,” I say to Sam as she pushes her double stroller back and forth while her five-month-old twins sleep. Her dark hair is pulled up on top of her head, sort of the way Ivy wears hers, and she’s comfortable in tights and a big Nike hoodie.

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