Page 99 of Training the Heart

“Wade, does it bother you to know her past? Do you think of Nash’s parents, that someone like her was responsible?”

The way she says it tells me it’s been on her mind for quite some time and it has bothered her, and I hate that with every fiber of my being. I reach across the table and grip her hand tight.

“What happened to Nash was terrible. A freak accident. Alcoholism is an illness, Ivy. At least that’s the way I’ve always looked at it. It was Nash’s parents’ time to go. You have to stop carrying her burden on your shoulders. Promise me you will.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so damn emotional about this. Maybe because I’m struggling with the pressure of Angel’s training too. I don’t know. I will do my best. I promise. I just … the idea of one day having my mama back, being close to her, the one I looked up to and loved when I was a kid. The pain of that is a lot to bear. I want it so badly. I just feel like I can’t be in all the places I need to be at once, and I don’t know how I can change that and still have a career.”

“You never know what the future holds, Ivy. You should put some faith into it all, and trust you’re where you’re supposed to be. Fate might just come through, and maybe it will work out the way you hope,” I say. “Jolene Ashby words to live by,” I add.

This makes Ivy grin.

It’s something I never believed before Ivy came into my life. I used to believe a man made his own fate, but now I’m not so sure, because Ivy is so much more than I could ever dream up on my own.

CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE

Ivy

Ilook up from my phone when my mother stirs beside me. I’ve been sitting with her for two hours just watching her sleep. She looks so peaceful. We look much the same, same black hair, same eyes, she just has been through so much. My daddy used to say she was the most beautiful woman in the world, but the world’s just worn on her now.

Wade has gone to handle some ranch business and make some phone calls with the promise he’ll return with some food before lunchtime. I think secretly he just wanted to give me some space to be with my mama. She reaches over and pats my hand when she wakes, and when I look in her eyes they’re clear and loving.

“You thought I was driving drunk, didn’t you?” she blurts out. My mama has never been one to beat around the bush.

I smile.

“I was worried, yes, I had no idea you were sober, Mama, I’m so goddamn proud of you.” My voice breaks and she reaches for me.

“I wanted to show you, not tell you. After so many tries I wanted to make sure you knew this time I was serious. I wasreally struggling last night. I was lonely, thinking of you and Daddy and Cassie. All the years I let pass me by. All the years I drank away.”

I squeeze her hand. I can’t even imagine her plight.

“I wanted to drink so goddamn bad. I keep my one bottle. My backup bottle. It sits on my counter and reminds me that I can drink it if I want to. So far, for the last seventeen days, I haven’t. But I still want to every day.”

“What do you need, Mama? The hospital has an outpatient rehab program, it’s a month long, you’re already off to such a good start—”

“Who can afford that, honey? It’s probably thousands of dollars.”

“Some of it can be covered by the state; the rest, well, I have some savings—”

“Ivy Grace Spencer, you will not spend your hard-earned money so I can go to some hoity-toity rehab. I’m doing okay on my own. I was trying to get to a meeting when that deer came out of nowhere. I don’t know why I didn’t remember your daddy’s words.”

I smile because I know the ones she means.

“Never swerve for an animal because they’ll end up walking away and you’ll be in the ditch—” my mom starts.

“—just slam on the brakes and hold that wheel for dear life,” I finish.

We smile at each other, and I realize there is so much of my father that still connects my mother and I, and maybe we should start using that to bond us instead of pushing each other away.

“I wish I could be closer to you. We’re just so deep in training this horse right now.”

“You’ll do no such thing. I’m fine where I am. Look, if I had the money I’d go to the rehab program, but I don’t, so I have to want it badly enough and work through it in my own time.”

I nod.

“Can we talk about something more fun?” She grins, a spark of my old mama in her eyes. “Who is this absolutehunkof a man that is escorting you three counties over at seven in the morning?”

I blush.

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