Page 40 of About Time

I did, and that is precisely what I’m trying to prevent. “Well, that’s too bad,” I say instead. “I’m sure he can throw one in my honor after I’m gone.” And then I won’t have to fear running into my soon-to-be ex-husband.

Running away might be cowardly, but I know my limits. I can’t move on if I’m always looking around every corner expecting to see Charlie. I really wouldn’t be able to handle seeing him with someone else. It would kill something inside of me, and there isn’t much left he hasn’t already taken.

“At least stay for dinner,” my sister pushes.

This is easy for me to agree to. “Only if you make your meatloaf.”

She sets a box of stuffing on the counter in front of me. It’s her secret ingredient. “One step ahead of you.”

Dinner with Elisa, Martin, and Wren is cathartic. I connect with them like I haven’t for the months I’ve been hiding myrelationship. Watching my sister engage with her family stings a little, but only because I was so close to having that for myself.

Elisa is usually right about most things, but she’s wrong about me needing a big life. She and I are different in that I want a career, but she’s wrong about the rest. Doesn’t look like I’m going to get that here though. Florida worked for me before, might as well try it again.

I wave off leftovers when Elisa tries to load me down. “I’m hitting the road in the morning.”

After multiple hugs from all three of them, and a solemn promise to keep them updated on my trip, I say goodbye to my family. I know I’ll see them again, but not here. When I hit the road, I’m never coming back to this town.

There is only one more thing I need to do before I hit the road. I drive across Harriston, and pull over across the street from Charlie’s house. I almost thought of it as our house, but it isn’t that anymore.

My breath catches in my throat when I see a woman walk past the window and close the blinds. Any doubts I had about what I’m doing evaporate. I vow to harden my heart to never feel this pain again.

I turn the key, shutting off the engine. From the glovebox I take out a folded manilla envelope. I’m not sure why I haven’t signed these yet, but I guess until this moment I held out hope that this was fixable. I can see now there’s no turning back. I quickly scrawl my name on all the spots my lawyer flagged for me, and pull off the tabs as I go, leaving only the ones for him to sign.

I pull away from the house and finally drop the documents in my lawyer’s after-hours drop box. By the time the process server hands Charlie these divorce papers, I’ll be long gone.

Chapter Seventeen

Charlie Present- Age 53

“I knewyou were a bit of a dumbass that thought with your dick most of the time, but that’s pretty fucking awful,” Griffin says.

Hattie is still sitting on my lap, but her body went stiff the more of the story she shared. I never knew she came by the night before she left town. That night only stands out to me because I found out the next day that she was gone. That was the moment I knew for sure I’d fucked up. I thought I was doing what was best for her, but I only managed to screw over both of us. Of course, the full scope of my mistake took years for me to see.

For some reason, we have avoided talking much about that time. We’ve apologized to each other, mostly me because she really had nothing to apologize for, but she never asked me for details. In the years we were apart I am not proud of the way I acted. It took a long time, but eventually, I went back to one-night stands, the occasional situationship, but no more relationships. Without Hattie, there was no interest in me in building a life with anyone.

The thing is, she’s wrong about that night. Not about there being a woman at my house, but she’s mistaken for what Hattiebelieves she was doing there. I can’t believe all this time she’s thought I immediately jumped into bed with another woman. It was over a year after she left before I even looked at another woman, and another six months before I got drunk enough to go home with someone.

I’m afraid revealing the true origin of our relationship is ripping open scars that were better left alone. I slide my hand along the side of her face. When I look into her eyes it’s only the two of us. She’s the only one whose opinion matters to me at the end of the day.

“Doll, we should have cleared this up years ago. I barely remember that night,” I begin.

Hattie scoffs. “That doesn’t make it better,” she mumbles under her breath. Then louder she says, “It was a long time ago, Charlie. We really shouldn’t be poking at scars that took a lifetime to heal.”

I’m shaking my head, disappointed in myself for letting her live with this misunderstanding for the last eleven years. “Doll, we need to poke at this particular scar though, because you’ve been letting a misunderstanding fester for too long. Yes, there was a woman over that night?—”

“I really don’t want to hear any of this,” she interrupts.

My stomach falls. All this time I thought we’d moved past all the hurt I caused, but just like back then, we’ve overlooked what hurt to protect ourselves. This cycle needs to end here and now. I wish we didn’t have an audience for this conversation.

“You need to hear this because I know I made it look like I was cheating on you, and I’m sure you seeing a woman there only confirmed your suspicions, but I never did. I have never and will never cheat on you. Griffin would remember that night if that time stuck in his head like it does mine. I missed several days of work. I told him I was sick, but really, I was drunk off my ass for a week.”

Griff snaps his fingers, and points in my face. “That was why you moped for a week? I had to practically call a hazmat team to decontaminate your house. I thought you had the plague or something. I…oh, shit this is my fault.”

Hattie slowly turns her head to look at Griff. “Explain,” she rasps.

“I sent a house cleaner over to dig him out from under the funk. When I went over to check on him after he missed most of the week at work, there were take-out containers and empty liquor bottles everywhere. He was pretty pissed off at me for me invading his space,” Griff recounts.

Hattie relaxes against my chest and looks at me over her shoulder. “Really?”

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