Page 29 of About Time

I have no doubt that she is my person. Soul mates always seemed like a bullshit concept to me. To think that there is one person on the planet who is made for you didn’t make sense. What if you were both born on opposite sides of the planet?

See, bullshit.

I think there are multiple possibilities, and it just depends on who you meet first. At least that is what I thought until Hattie wormed her way under my skin. I just pray fate was cruel in this circumstance. I know she’s my one, but I hope I’m not hers.

She deserves a shot at a life bigger than what Harriston can provide. I owe her that, even if I have to hurt her to make sure she has it. The thing is, I have faith that she will get over me quickly.

I can’t say the same for myself.

When she leaves town to return to college, that will be the end of us. That has been the deal from the beginning, and no matter what else has changed between us, that remains the same. That’s why I refuse to tell anyone about us. We’d only manage to make Martin and Elisa worry. They undoubtedly would object to our relationship and would eventually show her how wrong we are for each other. I’d lose her and my friends with a single confession.

I know we are going to have to talk, but we only have days left together, and I want to carve each one of them in my flesh. When she goes, my life will go from color to black and white. Not that I will be able to tell her any of this. At least not if I can remain strong. There have been many times I’ve wanted to drop to my knees and beg her to stay with me. I want it all with her; the wedding, babies, and a porch where we can watch the world go by as we age.

These are simple dreams, and not fit for a woman as bright as Hattie. Knowing I’m going to hurt her makes my stomach churn, but robbing her of her future is so much worse. So yeah, maybe I’m distracting myself too.

Just this morning she looked at me with so much love and devotion while she was starting the coffee. What did I do? I went behind her and bent her over the counter. She was only wearing one of my shirts, so all I had to do was stroke her clit a little, and I had her gushing.

Every time I see her my cock is like granite. It’s ecstasy to lose myself in her. Taking her like she’s an object gets us both hot. The truth is though that while I might act as if she is just a cunt to fuck, she’s my everything. I just can’t let those feelings out because if I do, I’ll never recover. She already has my heart, but her not knowing it is the only way I know she’ll move on easily.

I’ll never stop thinking about her, but once she leaves this place she’ll forget about me, as it should be. I’ll enjoy every moment of suffering because it means that for a short time, I knew what it was like to be loved by her.

Three days of animalistic fucking went by almost instantly. I somehow managed to keep her too busy to get me to talk aboutus. I can’t lie to her, or at least I won’t. Doesn’t mean I won’t twist the truth a bit to make her get back on the path I never should have pulled her from.

Now we’re standing by her car. Martin is checking her oil and making sure her car is safe enough, even though Centralia isn’t that far. Elisa is fussing after Hattie, double-checking she has all of her belongings. Martin and I are driving behind her in a small moving truck with her furniture. Not that she had much in a studio apartment.

The looks Hattie keeps directing at me clearly communicate that she hasn’t forgotten we still need to talk. And with her brother-in-law close by I can’t just fuck her until she’s too blissed out to bring it up.

Yeah, I’m a coward. I just don’t know how I’m supposed to look her in the eye and tell her I had fun, but it’s over. I don’t know which is worse, my plan to break her heart for her own good, or that even now I’m not sure I have the strength to go through with it?

The ride to Centralia is uncomfortable. Mostly because every time I hang out with Martin since I started seeing Hattie I feel like an enormous piece of shit. I know he’d hate me if he ever found out, and like a selfish asshole I’ve spent two months trying to have everything.

We pull the moving truck in front of Hattie’s studio apartment. I find it odd that she doesn’t seem to want the college experience with roommates and parties, but she’s an old soul. I still think she’ll eventually regret not making the most of this experience. She’s got a lifetime to be a mature adult. Now is the time for her to experience the carefree time between being a child and a fully established adult.

I can’t exactly expect her to behave like every other college student though. Most of them probably weren’t orphaned at eleven and raised by an older sibling. Elisa and Martin tried togive her a normal childhood, but Hattie was the one who stood by her mother’s side as chronic illness slowly drained the life from her.

“Earth to Charlie,” Martin says to get my attention. I’m not sure how long he’s been talking to me while I have been lost in my thoughts.

I shake off my darkening mood and play the part of the loyal friend once again. “Yeah, sorry. I was thinking about an engine repair I have coming up on a Volvo. Foreign cars are a giant pain in the ass, but we can’t turn away work, so we went for the extra training. Not that we get a lot of them, so my skills are rusty.”

Not a lie, I do have a Volvo to repair, but I’m exaggerating how hard it is for me. Not to brag, but I’m kind of a savant when it comes to mechanical things. I chose automobiles, but I can fix just about anything. He buys it though, and doesn’t push further.

“I hope your lifting skills haven’t gotten rusty during the drive here. Mind helping me move this mattress?” Martin asks.

“Nah, let’s do this,” I agree.

It doesn’t take long for us to move a tiny bistro table, a platform bed with a bookshelf in the headboard, a mattress, an oversized chair, and her boxes. Hattie doesn’t sit around on her ass watching us move everything either. She immediately gets to work carrying boxes inside, and only leaves the boxes of books for us to carry inside.

When Martin and I each carry in the last couple boxes, Hattie is already busy unpacking. It’s past lunchtime when we finish moving her things, and Martin’s stomach growls like he’s smuggling a pissed-off cat in his shirt.

He rubs his belly, still in good shape thanks to our constant softball practices. “How about you help Hattie put her bed together, and I’ll run and grab us some lunch?”

I reach for my wallet and pull out a twenty. “Sounds good. I don’t care what you get.”

Martin waves off my offer of money. “You’re helping my little sister move. That’s above and beyond, so the least I can do is get you lunch.” He turns to Hattie. “Burgers okay, kiddo?”

She rolls her eyes. “Not a kid anymore, Martin. And sure, a burger sounds great. No cheese though.”

“Sure thing,” Martin agrees. “Toss me your keys. I don’t want to drive the moving truck through a drive-thru.”

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