Page 17 of About Time

I blow a kiss in return. “Love you too.”

Once she’s gone, I quickly change, then look at myself in the mirror. Of course, she’s right about the top, and it complements my jeans perfectly. One thing is for sure I’m not going to show up looking like the little girl in overalls tonight.

Hattie Present- Age 43

It’s been a long time since I’ve let myself think about the early days of Charlie and me. There are so many regrets from then. Funny, I thought I was doing everything I could to avoid regrets, but it’s like I ran straight for them.

I don’t regret going to Charlie’s that night or the affair that we started. But I do regret not taking the chance to talk to my sister about it. She might have talked me out of going, but I like to think she’d have been there for me when everything fell apart. Most importantly, I wouldn’t have missed out on years with her, only seeing her when they came to visit me in Florida.

Maybe I’d have been closer to Wren over the years. There were so many promises I made to Elisa that I didn’t keep. I let my sister down on the biggest promise I ever made to her, and even now that everyone is happy and settled, I have a hard time forgiving myself. I only hope that wherever she is, she doesn’t hold it against me.

I look over and see that Wren’s green eyes are nearly spilling over with tears. She gives me a watery smile, which I return. Iknow what kind of pain she’s feeling too well. She got her mom longer than I had mine, but she didn’t get what she needed from me when we lost Elisa. That is my biggest regret in life. There was so much pain inside of me that I did what I was so good at then. I ran.

It didn’t help that Wren is the carbon copy of her mother and by extension, my mother. The unfairness of everything hit me, and then there was Charlie.

I’m ashamed to say I avoided Wren a lot and hit the road the second she could legally be on her own. We aren’t there yet though.

Before I can recount my greatest shame, I first have to relive my greatest heartbreak. As hard as it is to revisit all of this, I owe it to Wren to explain why I left her on her own to grieve and figure out how to move on.

“Hattie, quit looking at me like you’re going to apologize to me. You are not responsible for me marrying Liam. I don’t regret it anyway because I don’t think I’d be here with Griffin now if I hadn’t. I want to know what happened after you went to Charlie’s.”

Bess waggles her eyebrows. God bless her comedic timing. You can always count on her to lighten the mood when you need it most. She’s ride or die, to be sure, but she also knows when to let off some of the pressure. That doesn’t mean I’m not scared of whatever is about to come out of her mouth.

“I bet Charlie is dirty, isn’t he? There’s not a woman in Harriston over thirty who hasn’t had dirty thoughts about that man,” she says.

“Bess!” Wren shrieks. I’m not sure why she’s surprised. Honestly, after what I accidentally overheard her and Donovan talking about on one of their date nights, this seems really tame.

Of course, there’s not a woman here, except for maybe Claudia, who doesn’t have a healthy dose of kink in their life. I just never thought I’d be openly discussing mine with my niece.

“Well, I told you how Charlie laid out that he had an objectification kink. I thought he was trying to scare me away. I think he was at first, but neither of us realized how into it we both were. That wasn’t all either.”

Bess sighs. “I love it when kinks align.”

“I think you mean stars,” Wren corrects.

Bess waves her off. “I said what I said.” She props her chin on her hand and focuses on me. “You were talking about kink.”

I laugh and wonder if Charlie remembers that first night the same way I do.

Chapter Eight

Charlie Past- Age 29

I pickup my phone and put it down several times as Saturday closes in on Saturday night. Logically, I know I should text Hattie and tell her I changed my mind, but I don’t know if she even has a cell phone and even if she does I don’t have her number. What I do know is that nothing good can come out of her coming here. I’m almost thirty and have no business being alone with a teenage girl. Nineteen might be an adult, but barely.

She’s a teenager who I’d bet money is still as inexperienced as she was when I first met her. I’m a dick for even considering taking her virginity. I keep telling myself that I just want to talk to her, but I’m lying to myself. The truth is I’ve never felt like this before. She brings out this primal side of me that wants to beat my chest and lock her away from other men. I want her to be mine in a way I’ve never been moved to claim a woman.

All of the stuff I told her about how I’d use her like a toy was meant to be bullshit. I didn’t expect for those images to take hold of my mind and drive me to do something I would judge anyone else for. And I know that I won’t turn back. I don’t have thestrength to walk away from her. The only thing that can stop this is if she doesn’t show up tonight.

I guess I can only hope that what I said to her was enough to scare her off and save us both. The heat in her eyes though tells me that all I did was entice her more. For me, she’s become an obsession, but I fear that for her, I’m just an adventure. Being with me will be an experience to tell her friends about one day, how she too was wild once.

Seven o’clock comes and goes, and she doesn’t arrive. I try to convince myself that I’m relieved, that it’s for the best, and that I need to let go of this unhealthy fixation I’m developing for my friend’s younger sister-in-law. The problem is that I don’t think I can let this go, and if she doesn’t come tonight, I’m just going to seek her out. I can already feel the pull, and it’s a matter of when I give in, not if.

About fifteen minutes later, I finally hear a timid knock on the door. I’m ashamed to admit, even if just to myself, that I’m relieved. When I open the door, she just stands there as if she still hasn’t decided if she wants to be here. I don’t say anything. This is a decision she has to make without me pressuring her, at least at the start.

She comes in and stands just inside the open doorway.

“I didn’t think you were going to come,” I say, breaking the awkward silence.

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