Page 44 of Stealing Home

“I can hold him,” I offer. I remember how tired my aunt Toni was when her son was born ten years ago.

“Are you sure?” she asks me hopefully.

“I’m great with kids. Hand him over,” I insist. She doesn’t ask me twice and passes me baby Griffin.

“Hey little guy,” I say to him. He blinks up at me, and I rock him back and forth.

Once Liam is done with his little brother he offers to take him back, but I shake my head. “I doubt either of you get much of a chance to eat at the same time. I’ve got him.”

Bess leans toward Harlow and attempts to whisper. I say attempt, because everyone clearly hears every word she says. “And he likes babies?” She fans herself and mouths, “hot.”

“I like babies too,” the twin I’m guessing is Logan says.

“You trying to steal my woman, little man?” I tease him.

He puffs out his chest. “Liam says my dad likes younger women, but Harlow is too pretty, so I think I like older women.”

“I agree with you, but find your own,” I tell him.

He pouts, but recovers quickly. “Fine, but only if you teach me to pitch again like that one day.”

“The baseball clinic,” Wren reminds me.

I refocus on Logan. “If you eat all your dinner.”

“Deal,” he agrees, and digs into his food.

A couple of hours, and eight exhausted children later we say our goodbyes and head to my truck.

Harlow is quiet, and I don’t feel like letting her withdraw right now.

“What’s going on in that head of yours, Low?”

Her lips twist while she’s thinking how to answer me. “That wasn’t too much, was it? I mean between Bess’ jokes and the kids using you like a jungle gym after dinner, I’d understand if you’re freaked out.”

I lean into her space and kiss her thoroughly. “I like your friends, Low. I think it freaks you out that I’m not running.”

She looks out the window, and I go ahead and give her some space for now. Harlow will figure out soon enough that I’m not going anywhere.

16

Harlow

I don’t knowwhat to say to Scott on the ride back to my apartment. He’s not wrong, I am having a hard time dealing with him not running away. It’s not only the lingering trauma from my marriage, but also the fact that we haven’t known each other very long.

Maybe he’s too good of a person to abandon me when I’m struggling, but I can’t let him sacrifice himself like that. Getting caught with me would ruin any chance he has to have a career in baseball. Sure, he can transfer to another school, and if he meets the waiver requirements he could even play, but the stain of our relationship would follow him. He’d have a hard time finding another coach willing to take him on.

We’re playing a dangerous game, one that will cost him more than it will cost me. The only thing I have left to lose is him. For my own sanity I need to make that cut sooner, because if this continues much longer I don’t know how I’ll be able to let him go.

It’s too fast. It could be all the years of loneliness, but I feel myself getting attached to him quickly. That’s also not fair to him. He’s just starting out. The last thing he needs is to shoulder my baggage while he’s exploring the adult world for the first time. I can’t be selfish with him.

“There’s a lot banging around in your brain, gorgeous. Are you going to fill me in on any of it?” he asks as he pulls behind the garage and turns off the truck.

I take a deep breath, trying to fortify myself to do what I have to. “Scott, you’re such a nice guy.”

He scoffs. “Not the nice guy blow-off. When a woman tells you you’re a nice guy it’s just a way to soften the blow for when she ends things.”

I can tell he’s irritated, but he’s not blowing up at me. Still, I brace myself for his anger. When will I let go of this fear? Rationally, I know not every man is like Nando, but since my own father had bouts of temper during the short time I really got to know him, it’s all I know. I’m sure a therapist could make a living off of all of my issues. The cycle of abuse repeating is a cliché for a reason. As much as I once thought I was too smart to make the same mistakes my mother did, I now see I was fooling myself. None of this bullshit should be Scott’s problem, but if I let him stay he’ll have to deal with it alongside me.