Page 12 of Two Wrongs

“So, you’re taking me to your place?” she asks in a shaking voice.

“Does that scare you, baby bird?”

“Why do you keep calling me that?”

I don’t have an explanation for her, at least not one I want to give voice to. I reach out and crank up the stereo instead.

My house is a modest three bedroom, ranch style on a wooded lot just on the edge of town. I got it a few years after Melinda left. Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if she could have held on a few years longer. Past the years we lived in a cramped one bedroom apartment in the same complex Liam and Wren rent. If she could have had faith that my job fixing cars would grow to become a stable business, would it have made a difference?

I’ve spent too many years being bitter. Raising a kid alone is hard, especially when you’re practically a child yourself. At twenty, I was too tired from chasing a two-year-old to do much more than survive. Somehow I seem to have been frozen in that state.

That’s why what Wren said struck me so deeply. I knew what she meant when she said all she’s been doing is existing. I want to find out how she’s going to do more than that. She’s never struck me as suicidal. She fought too hard to build a life after her parents died to believe she’d try and end it just because my son made a stupid mistake. Maybe she could teach me how to leave the past behind and do more than exist as well.

I pull in my driveway and turn off the engine. My hands squeeze the steering wheel, because I know the second I get out of the car she’s going to bolt. Still, I have to try. “Wren, please come in for a few minutes. I’d really like to talk to you.”

She stares straight out the windshield. “Do you really think that’s a good idea?” Slowly, she turns to face me, and there’s a wariness in her eyes I’ve never seen from her before.

Disdain and hurt I’ve seen, but this is different. “What happened back at the bar? You’ve never been like that before.”

I huff and stare deep into her eyes. For the first time I let her see it all. She’ll be out of our lives soon, and I can’t seem to hold it back from her. If she’s leaving, and I pray she is, I have to give her this. To let her leave knowing I didn’t hate her. She’s been hurt enough by my son, it’s time I stop adding to it.

She scoots away from me, as far as she can inside the car. “I don’t understand what’s going on.”

And she wouldn’t. Not completely. I would never reveal to her the depths of my depravity, but I could let her know she never did anything wrong. “Let’s talk inside. I only need a few minutes, then you can be on your way.”

I hold my breath while I wait for her to answer. Finally, she nods. “Okay, let’s get this over with.”

Yes, that is what we need to do. End this. The torment of seeing her, wanting her, and having to deny myself. Adding to it that I know she’ll never be happy with my son. I can’t have her here. Wren needs to spread her wings and fly far from this town.

* * *

She walksaround my living room like she’s never been in here before. “I know it’s been a while,” I say as she starts to randomly pick up some of the pictures I’ve got set around the room.

“I’ve always thought it was sweet how you have pictures of Liam all over.” She looks at me, and the sadness on her face nearly brings me to my knees.

“I am sorry for what he did, but he’s still my son.”

She smiles, but it looks like she could just as easily cry. “I’m glad he’ll have you.” She pauses in front of another photo, and traces his face with her finger. “I think I’ll always love him, but he doesn’t love me the way I need him to.”

“Are you going to be okay? What you said at the bar, about your existing ending soon, it worried me.”

Wren turns to face me. “I’m going to live. If there’s one good thing that will come from all this shit, it’s that I’m not going to sacrifice for anyone anymore.”

I walk up behind her. It’s a compulsion since I know this will be the last time I’m this close to her. “You will someday,” I whisper. “And you’ll love every minute of it. When you hold your child in your arms, you’ll gladly give everything to give them the life you didn’t have.”

“Maybe,” she concedes. “Someday, far in the future. Once I can forget what this feels like. I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to trust someone again with my heart. It hurts too much when they aren’t careful with it.”

I nod, knowing exactly what she means. “It really fucking does.”

She turns around to face me. “Did you ever get over it? Liam’s mom leaving, I mean.”

I shrug. It’s always been there, this emptiness, but for a long time it hasn’t been Melinda’s face I’ve pictured when I close my eyes. I don’t know when it happened, but it isn’t her I miss. “I’ve gotten over her, but the anger held on longer than the love did.”

“Yeah, I can see that.” She finally stops moving and sits down on the sofa. I take the love seat facing her. “Is this what you wanted to talk about? My anger?” she asks.

“I just wanted to check on you. Make sure where your head was at,” I say.

She rolls her eyes, and my palm tingles to warm her ass. Not an appropriate response considering I need to encourage her to leave, not play house with me.

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