Page 13 of Pretty Broken Promises

I turn my face away from him and pray he doesn’t see my eyes fill with tears. I want to deny what he’s saying, because loving him after everything he’s put me through makes me more self-destructive than I ever thought I was.

Ford grabs my chin and turns my face back to his. I see the same pain reflected back at me until he presses his forehead against mine. The air between us is so tense it hurts to breathe. It’s like all the air between us is filled with tiny razor blades, and it cuts with every lungful. His body trembles against mine, and if I didn’t know better, I’d swear Ford Shaw was crying. I don’t dare open my eyes to check though.

“Please, tell me there’s still a chance. I know he loves you, but so do I. And I know he has treated you better. I don’t deserve another chance, but I’m going to be selfish one more time and beg for one. I’m the one who needs you. You’re my universe, Vixen. Am I too late? Will you at least let me try and show you it’ll be different this time?”

I look at my ring and bite my bottom lip. Ford pulls it free with his thumb. “Talk to me, Tess.”

“The thing is I don’t exactly know where Benji and I stand. The dinner you interrupted last night was when he was going to formally propose to me. After that, he said the mood was off.”

“So you’re not engaged?” he asks.

“I don’t think I am officially, but either way, I won’t betray him,” I answer.

“What are you saying? That you’ll marry him even if you love me, just to not hurt him?”

My chin tips up. “I’ve been trying to figure out if I love him enough to forget how much I love you, because Tracy says I need to learn to love what’s good for me.”

“And that isn’t me?” he asks.

I raise my eyebrow and stare at him confused. “Can you honestly tell me you’ve ever been good for me?”

“I know I haven’t been, and that what I’m asking for is crazy. I’m not even asking you to forgive me right now, just that you keep your mind open to the possibility. Please,” he begs.

I take a deep breath and do the scariest thing I can imagine, I leave the door between us cracked open. “I’m here for two more months. I guess it would be better to know we tried everything before I leave.”

“You’re still so sure you’ll go?” he asks. His voice lacks his usual cocky swagger. He’s finally being open and real with me, but it could just be another ploy.

I shrug. “Guess it’s up to you to change my mind, isn’t it?”

ChapterEight

TESSA

I’ve wastedcountless hours trying to think of the perfect thing to say to Tessa to win her back. Then I saw her with him today, and I realized it doesn’t matter what I say because words will never be enough.

The wariness in her eyes as she looks at me tells me she doesn’t trust me. I deserve that, and there aren’t any words I could say that will convince her otherwise, not when all of my actions have shown her she shouldn’t. There are a few words she does need to hear from me first though, and it’s time to get on my knees and lay my pride at her feet.

I move back and open the passenger door for her. She climbs in the cab and turns her body to stare out the window. It’s about a half-hour drive to Sin and Raven’s house, but with the way she is seated, Tessa has closed the possibility of conversation. It’s just further proof my words aren’t welcome with her.

The silence stretching between us is loud. I’d never understood when people said that before, but now it makes sense. The silence is like a living thing, pulsing and screaming in the space between us. Every second stretches out to a minute, and each minute lasts an hour until the thirty minutes we spend quietly existing side by side in the tension lasts a small eternity.

I sigh in relief when I finally turn my truck onto their street. I’m pretty much winging this as I go along, so I hope everyone is around when we get back. I had a plan the night the guys and I showed up at the restaurant, but I fucked that up. It seems that for me, it’s better if I don’t give myself time to overthink what I’m doing.

The driveway is full when I pull up to the house, which I take as a sign I’m on the right track. Tessa’s shoulders slump when she sees it, not even remotely as comforted by the sight of all of our friends as I am. I watch her pull on her invisible armor, and I wonder if she’s ever considered the people inside to be her friends, or if I’m the reason she’s uncomfortable around them now. Who am I kidding, I can’t let myself off the hook and let myself believe she never cared about them. Besides, I know her friendship with Jen was real, at least before I came in between them.

I jump out of the truck first and grab her bag. She still hasn’t moved to get out, so I open her door and hold out my hand. “Come on, Vixen. No one is going to bite.” I’m afraid of pushing her too far. I don’t know what her triggers are exactly, but I know what happens when she shuts down. I’m prepared to handle her cautiously, but as usual, Tessa surprises me.

She takes my hand, but only long enough to get down from the cab of my truck. She schools her face and transforms right before my eyes. It’s remarkable. All she does is shake out her hair and paste a smile on her face. If I hadn’t just seen the pain and longing on her face myself, I would believe she is the carefree, confident woman before me right now. It makes me wonder, when was the last time I had a real interaction with her?

We walk side by side up the porch and even with the fake expression on her face, I can feel the fear radiating off of her. I hold the door open for her, and she hesitantly takes a step inside. Everyone makes it worse by turning and gawking at us the moment we enter the room. The sunlight catches the gaudy rock on Tessa’s hand, casting rainbows around the room.

Raven’s eyes drop to Tessa’s hand then at me. Raven and Tessa have grown close recently, and I’m guessing Tessa has already told her about the almost proposal. Raven isn’t subtle about her focus on the ring either and soon gains the attention of Jen and Amber.

Jen rushes across the room and grabs Tessa’s hand to inspect the ring closer. “But, I thought you guys were going to talk,” she says, looking at me.

Tessa pulls her hand back. “By talk, do you mean he was going to show up at the restaurant where Benji was planning to propose with his brigade of idiots and interrupt my night? Because if that’s what you mean, then yeah we did that.”

Jen’s brow furrows. “But it looks like Bennett still got around to proposing, and you accepted. That’s the important thing, right?”

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