Page 8 of Pretty Broken Promises

“Is this like an ‘I licked it so I get to have it’ thing? Because if that’s the case, technically, I get to keep him,” Jen says.

I cringe and take a few steps back. If I thought the silence was awkward, this is worse.

“Woman, we agreed we’d never talk about you dating Ford,” Shane complains.

Jen shakes her head. “Nope. You agreed with yourself. I never said any such thing. In fact, I believe I said that I love you honey, but I do plan to occasionally look back fondly on my time with Ford, because while I don’t love him, he’s got certain talents that a girl can’t help but admire.”

Sin points at Raven. “If you add anything to this conversation?—”

“Can we all stop having this conversation?” I beg while rubbing my temples. “Honestly, the ‘Ford is a manwhore’ shit has gotten beyond old. I don’t want to be known as the town slut anymore. What I want is to know how to get Tessa back.”

They all look at me like I’ve asked them to tell me that I can bring a loved one back from the dead or something. Sin continues what he started to say before, “Like I was going to say before I was interrupted, I think you need to consider what is best for Tessa here. I don’t have the facts, I don’t think any of us do, but I think it’s clear some bad shit happened to her recently and that Jesse is responsible. I’m starting to think she wasn’t helping him voluntarily.”

Shane, Jen, and I share a look. We haven’t told the others what she told us before. I realize I have to now. “She didn’t go to Jesse. He had her abducted from Seattle. Tracy and Lydia got into some trouble. Jesse thought he could use Tracy to get to me and through me to you and Raven. When he realized that wasn’t going to work, he thought he could use her to do the same with Tessa. He had no idea how far our relationship had fallen apart. She didn’t tell us what happened, only that they had her for three days.”

“She had rope burns on her wrists,” Jen blurts out.

Sin and Lucien share a look. One that promises pain and death, only Jesse is already dead thanks to Sin goading Raven and Lucien’s dad into killing him a few months ago. He might be dead, but I think Tessa is still fighting his ghost. All of our enemies are gone, but her battle is far from over.

And even if my friends think I should let her go, my fight for her will go on, because I can’t let her go. I might not be as good for her as he is. In the past we were toxic together. And I know that to say I need her is selfish. That means there’s only one thing I can do. I need to become the man who does deserve her. I have to work to become good enough for her. It’s time for me to show her that she’s always been good enough for me, and that I will move mountains for her. The first step is for me to lay down my pride.

I need to work fast though, because there’s a white knight fighting dragons for her, and while what she needs is someone to slay her demons, I’m very, very far behind.

ChapterFive

TESSA

My teeth continueto chatter on the drive to Benji’s hotel. I know logically I’m safe, but I can’t shake off the chill that’s invaded my bones. That’s the thing though, fear isn’t logical. It festers and spreads its disease. Jesse is dead. I watched as Damien Blackthorne fired a bullet into his skull and yet he’s still torturing me. I don’t know when he’s going to let go of his hold on me, because if death didn’t break it, I’m not sure what will.

At least today I don’t have to cope alone. I don’t know what I’d do without Benji in my corner. Actually, I guess I kind of do. All these months away from him have shown me the coldness of life without his arms around me to keep me steady. What I have with him might not be the fiery passion I had with Ford, but what we had burned me in the end.

There’s something to be said about the warmth of a love that grows from friendship. It’s calm and steady. Maybe it doesn’t heat up between the sheets, but since my three days of hell in Jesse’s house of horrors, I’m not interested in sex with anyone. There’s no reason not to believe that I can’t grow to desire Benji one day, when I’m able to think about intimacy again without wanting to vomit. He’s handsome, loving, funny, basically everything someone could want in a man. But what if it’s not whatIwant?

It doesn’t take long before he pulls into the circle drive of the hotel and hands the keys off to the valet. Ever the gentleman, Benji gets out of the driver’s side, and rounds the car to open my door. A smile lights up his face as he takes my left hand in his and feels the ring on my finger once again. I know he’s reading something more into me wearing it now than I mean to say, but maybe, deep down, I want him to.

I don’t have the guts to make a decision about my future, so it would be just like me to put myself into a situation where my back is against the wall. I think I want my choice to be made for me. That sounds so wrong considering everything I’ve been through recently, but when Benji is the one making the decision, I trust it will be the right one. Lord knows when I run my own life it turns into a hot mess.

Hand in hand he leads me through the lobby of the hotel and up to his suite. When he pushes the door open he sweeps me up into his arms and carries me over the threshold. I giggle at his theatrics.

Benji leans down and kisses my forehead. “It’s good to hear you laugh again, Tessie. It’s been far too long.”

“Not much has struck me as particularly funny in quite a while,” I say as he sets me on my feet.

From anyone else the sadness in his eyes as he looks down at me would feel a lot like pity, but from Benji it feels like concern. “I know, baby doll, but it won’t always be this way. I know you won’t forget what you went through, but I swear you will find a way to live with it. I will do whatever I can to help you find peace.”

I grab his shirt, and pull him to me. “You are my peace,” I say sincerely.

He wraps his arms around me and there it is, that feeling of warmth and love. Is it the same as what I had before? No, but maybe in a lot of ways it’s better. “I’ve got an answer for you,” I whisper into his neck.

“Are you sure? I don’t ever want you to feel pressured, or that you owe me. I’m not going anywhere, even if your answer is no. I’ll love you either way.”

I stretch up on my toes and hesitantly place a tentative kiss on his lips. I’ve kissed him before, exactly once, and that was right after we were set up. I didn’t feel a spark in the kiss, and I thought we both decided we were meant to be friends. I guess he only agreed so he wouldn’t lose me.

Benji takes the hint and kisses me again. Soft at first, then bolder as I respond. He’s got skills, and he doesn’t cause me to seize up in panic, but I still pull away when it starts to get a bit too heated.

He presses his forehead against mine. “Sorry. I got a bit carried away. Let me take you out tonight. I’d like to give you a real proposal. You deserve to be wined and dined. I just didn’t want to spring something like that on you after everything.”

I kiss him again. “You think of everything. I’m sorry I made you wait so long for an answer.”

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