Page 69 of Pretty Broken Promises

Tracy can tell that I have put those thoughts together as well. “Yeah, I can see that you have figured out that she likes things that hurt because it makes her feel. But it's more than that. She says the rain makes her feel clean again.”

I have to close my eyes and keep them closed for several seconds. I have never felt such an instant urge to cry for someone else.

“He died too quickly,” I mutter, thinking about how Damien killed Jesse.

“Like I said, this has been going on since before we were abducted. I think there is something else that she has never told anybody. Until she does, it's going to eat her alive.”

With those words in my head, I step out of the car and approach Tessa. She doesn't react as I get closer to her, sit down on the bench next to her, and brush a strand of her hair out of her face. The rain is more of a drizzle now, but I can see she has sat outside probably through the entire deluge.

Her skin is ice cold. I brush my knuckles down her cheek, and finally she blinks her eyes and turns her face to look at me.

“I found a new spot,” she says. Her voice is flat and without inflection.

I realize her old spot must be the first place Tracy took me to. “We need to get you home,” I tell her.

Instead of listening to me, she turns her face back up to the sky as if she's trying to soak up more rain.

“I love it when it rains. Everything feels new. Like you can start fresh after a rainfall.” She's not making much sense and it's worrying me.

“Tessa, baby you're really cold,” I argue.

She shrugs. “Doesn't feel that cold anymore.”

“Did it feel cold when you first came out here?”

She nods her head. “But the cold was invigorating. It made me feel alive, like I'm really here and not just existing.”

“I am so sorry, you've been alone too much lately. I'm still going to have to be gone until six, but there's been some bullshit that I want to talk to you about, not tonight, but it's going to stop,” I promise her.

She scrunches her eyebrows together. “Have I done something?”

I realize everything I said could be taken several different ways, and Tessa is always going to interpret things negatively for herself.

“No baby, you haven't done anything. It's nothing I want you to worry about. Let's go home and put you in a warm shower.”

She still doesn't move, so I pick her up and carry her to the car. Tracy sees me carrying her, and nods in approval.

Tracy doesn’t double park this time, but actually pulls into the small parking lot reserved for the apartment building. I pass the keys over to her and let her unlock the door while I carry Tessa inside.

“Where’s the bathroom?” Tracy asks when we get inside.

“It’s down the hallway on the left.”

“This place is a lot bigger than I was expecting,” she shouts back.

Tracy comes back to the living room with a large towel. Tessa starts to wake up as I peel the wet clothes off of her and wrap the towel around her. She blinks her big brown eyes and looks at me.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gone off like that. I didn’t realize my phone was dead until after I got out there, and I just couldn’t come back here and be alone in the apartment.”

“Would you tell me why?” I ask her.

“Hey guys, I’m going to go and let you talk,” Tracy interjects.

“Thanks for your help, Trace.”

She tips her head to me. “I saw my friend tonight. I’ve missed him. Will you be around when I drag Lydia out for dinner?”

“I will be leaving at six with the rest of the team, so as long as we have dinner around seven it should work,” I tell her.

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