Page 6 of Pretty Broken Promises

I don’t exactly want to tell him that I’m supposed to figure out how to get over him. I do know one way I can put up a wall between us. I’m still wearing my ring since I just showed it to Raven only a few minutes ago. Waving my finger at him, I say, “I’m supposed to be figuring out my answer to a question.”

His jaw clenches, a sure sign he’s angry. “Are you really considering marrying him? Is this what you want for your life? You aren’t in love with him.”

“Really? You know this based off of all the time we’ve spent together? All the time you’ve watched Benji and I? Tell me, what criteria are you using?”

I cross the room until I’m standing in front of him. Stretching up as close to his ear as I can get, I whisper, “You have no idea how I feel.”

Ford grabs my hips and pulls me closer. “It’s been a while, but I could never forget how you feel.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” I put my hands on his chest and push him back, or try to, but it’s like trying to push a mountain.

He holds on to me with one hand and tips my chin up with the other. “We’ve fought this long enough, don’t you think? You can’t really fight fate.”

I scoff. “So we’re fated now? And I’m just supposed to forgive you for the last two years of making me feel like shit, pushing me away, and ostracizing me? You think you know me, but there’s a lot you don’t know. Benji knows everything about me. I will admit that there’s a part of me that will always have feelings for you, but the woman standing before you right now needs things only Benji can provide.”

His hands fall off my hips. “Like what?”

“A fresh start.”

Ford takes a couple steps back, and I can see my barb hit its target. “I’ll let you get to it then.”

And just as I expect, he retreats. As usual Ford will fight me, but he won’t fight for me.

ChapterFour

FORD

“So that’s it?You’re just going to throw in the towel and let him win?” Sin steps out of the shadows like the fucking ghost he is. He might have recently become one of my best friends, but he’s still a creepy motherfucker.

“No—I don’t know—Maybe. I’m not sure what I can do to get her back. Don’t you think some things can be too broken to ever be fixed?”

He levels me with his black-eyed stare. “If I thought that, I’d have offed myself years ago. What you need to ask yourself is, do you still love her?”

That I don’t need time to think about to answer. “I’ve never stopped. Even when I was mad at her, I loved her.”

“Then you better pull your head out of your ass, or you’re going to lose her,” he advises.

“The only problem is, I’m not sure how to win her back,” I admit.

“Well, I can guarantee you that running away isn’t going to do it.”

“Thanks for the insight, Captain Obvious. Do you have anything that can actually help me?” I snap.

Sin shrugs. “Don’t let your pride get in the way. In fact lay it at her feet.”

It sounds simple, but baring yourself like that is harder than it sounds. I realize that at no point in our relationship have I ever allowed myself to be truly and completely vulnerable with Tessa. While I did share parts of myself I’ve never shared with someone else, I always held back a little. There was a part of me that was always waiting for her to leave me like everyone else, so when she ended up pushing me away to protect me I couldn’t let it go.

I’ve punished her for two years and she has no idea why, not really. She thinks it’s just about breaking up with me because her dad forced her to. I know she was only trying to protect me. Most people would forgive someone for that, even appreciate it. It made me angry because she didn’t trust me enough to tell me what was going on. If she can’t trust me, why should I trust her?

I spend the night wallowing in self-pity, time I should be spending trying to win back Tessa. Something I come to regret over the next three days. Every time I try to speak to her she avoids me. At first it’s subtle, but by the third day she just gets up and leaves the room when I enter.

As usual everyone has congregated at Sin and Raven’s house. There’s a game on the flat screen, which ordinarily I’d be glued to, but I’m tracking Tessa’s movements instead. She’s been artfully dodging me all day, and I’m looking for a chance to talk to her. So far every time I get close to her she slips past me.

Finally, I manage to corner her in the kitchen. With her back against the wall, I maneuver her into the walk-in pantry. Her eyes are spitting fire as I close the door behind me effectively locking her in here with me.

“Quit manhandling me you big oaf,” she snaps, and slaps my hands off her shoulders.

“I wouldn’t have to if you’d stop avoiding me,” I say with a bit more bite in my tone than I intended.

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