Page 56 of Pretty Broken Promises

Sin looks at Tessa, and it seems like an entire conversation passes between them with just one look. This is the second time I’ve detected he knows something about her that I don’t. The thing is I’m not even mad that he’s keeping a secret for her, because that’s what a good friend should do, and Tessa needs more of those.

“Alright, Vixen, we need to get on the road.” I hold open the passenger door for her and help her climb up into my truck.

“We’ll see you in about a week,” Sin says as I move around the front of the truck.

They are going to drive Tessa’s Honda up after their finals are over. Sin has some family in the area he hasn’t spent much time with, so they volunteered to make the trip so Tessa and I didn’t have to ride separately on this drive.

I turn the key, and my truck roars to life. I’m not sure how practical this beast is going to be in the hilly terrain and miserable traffic of Seattle, but all of our stuff fits in the bed. At least all of the stuff we are bringing with us. We are going to need some furniture, but Josephine, Tessa’s mom, offered to give us some things she no longer wants.

As much as I hate being someone’s charity case, I can’t deny Tessa’s mom a chance to act like a mom. All those years Tess thought her mom abandoned her, only to find out Wendell forced her mom to leave. It just reinforces my belief that there is more than one kind of evil in the world. Wendell James definitely belongs in the running for worst father, right up there with mine and Damien Blackthorne.

Before Tessa, I swore up and down that I’d never have kids. I didn’t want to risk repeating the cycle I witnessed growing up. The only thing I could imagine worse than surviving that kind of abuse would be to turn into someone who could perpetuate it. But, if that was my only example of fatherhood, how could I expect to do any better?

I look over at her as she stares silently out the passenger window. The sun is just coming up over the mountains, and casting a rosy glow on her porcelain skin. For this girl, I know I could move those mountains if she needed me to. With her by my side, I know I can be a good father. After all, if she loves me, there must be something redeemable about me. Something not tainted by the stain of the Park and the abuse and neglect of my parents.

She is not less than because her father tossed her aside like a broken toy when she no longer served his needs in impressing his business partners. We have both overcome a lot, and we have a lot to give. Maybe we’ll be better parents someday because of what we’ve survived not despite it. One thing is for sure, we know what not to do.

“What are you thinking about so hard?” she asks, startling me.

Her voice has that rough quality you get when you are first waking up. It makes me think of sex, which brings me right back around to my previous line of thought. I try and think of something else to tell her, because if she knows how often I’ve been thinking lately of marriage and kids she might freak out for real and run away again.

Not saying anything though does not have a reassuring effect on her. “Is it that bad? Are you regretting coming with me?” She starts to panic.

I take a deep breath and reach for her hand. “No, nothing like that. I’ll tell you, but I want you to promise not to freak out.”

“You know when someone makes you promise not to freak out, the first thing it makes you want to do is freak out, right?”

I squeeze her hand, and she lets me continue. “I was just thinking about what it is going to be like when we have kids.”

Tessa coughs. “I’m sorry. Did you say kids?”

I take a quick glance at her. She’s staring at me with wide eyes, and just like I feared she’s halfway to freaking out. “Do you not ever think about it?”

“I mean, I haven’t for a while. I wasn’t ever sure we’d be back together. Now we are, and everything keeps happening so fast. I’m still trying to come to terms with everything I’ve been through, and in your mind, I’m already knocked up?”

My lips twitch. “Not right away. I would like to be married first, and graduated from college, or at least signed to a professional team if I get drafted early. But, if something were to happen earlier than we plan, I won’t be upset about it.”

I shift my eyes quickly to look at her and focus back on the road. Her mouth is hanging open, and she’s looking at me with a mixture of shock and wonder.

“You really aren’t going anywhere, are you?”

I turn my hand over so that her fingers can lace through mine. “Now you’re starting to figure it out.”

We pass a wooden sign for a national forest. Tessa turns to follow it, before returning her attention to me. “There’s a turn in a mile for a campground and hiking trail. Can you pull off for a minute?”

This is a long drive, and unscheduled stops will only make it longer, but I’m not in the habit of refusing her what she wants. She so rarely asks for anything anyway. I turn on my blinker and pull into an empty parking lot.

Tessa reaches into the back seat and grabs a blanket I have back there we’ve used for a picnic. She grabs the handle and says, “Take a walk with me.”

Of course, I get out and take her hand. “You know I’ll follow you anywhere.”

We walk into the trees and find a secluded spot. It’s too perfect for her to have found on accident. We’re several hours outside of Playa, which makes it unlikely this is a spot she’s frequented. Still, she’s walking with purpose, as if she knows exactly where she’s leading me.

“Why do I get the feeling you’ve been here before?” I ask her.

She lays down the blanket on a thick carpet of grass, sits down, and pats the grass next to her. Instead of sitting next to her, I move behind her, and pull her against my chest. She leans her head back, and I move her hair out of her face.

Tessa takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. I can almost feel the pain she feels as the memory comes back to her.

---