Page 50 of Pretty Broken Promises

His teeth gently pull on my earlobe, and when he lets go he whispers in my ear. “Are you ready for me?”

“I have always been ready for you, and it’s been hell waiting.”

Ford takes his hand out from under my dress, and undoes his pants, quickly lowering them. Raven wisely advised me to go commando this evening. He enters me in one hard thrust, but then he hesitates.

My fingers grasp his where he still holds them over my head. “Don’t you dare hold back on me,” I demand.

“I love you, Vixen. I don’t need this. You don’t have to do this for me.”

I lean up and kiss him softly on the lips. “I love you for saying that, and even more because I know you mean it. I want you to do this for me. Not because I’m trying to prove a point, but because this feels good right now.”

He doesn’t need me to convince him. Ford takes me with the kind of passion and force I thought I’d never experience again, and our stifled grunts and moans mingle with our friends’.

They were right though. That night at the cabin no longer feels like this giant stain on my life, but rather some kind of step leading me to this place, strange as it might be, but it’s where I know I belong. It’s the road to healing, and I don’t know if I’d have found it without their help.

ChapterTwenty-One

FORD

Movingday is creeping up on us, and I still haven’t told Shane. Well, we haven’t told anyone, but me not telling my best friend is unusual. At first, I was just following Tessa’s lead, but her instinct is to keep everything about her life private, even from our friends. It’s a painful reminder that I’ve left scars in her that won’t heal right away. The best I can do is keep trying every day to show her I’m all in. I think part of the reason she’s kept our move a secret is she’s waiting for me to change my mind. I just didn’t see it until now.

The truth is that I’ve enjoyed existing in this bubble with her. I knew the moment we told everyone we were moving we’d be bombarded with their opinions. It wasn’t that I was worried they’d change my mind, but that they’d interrupt my time with Tessa. My time with her is already limited, at least quality alone time, because we’re always surrounded by other people.

Take today for example, it’s yet another Saturday afternoon, and all nine of us are sitting around Sin and Raven’s house. There was no plan to come here, no text or group chat. Everyone just ended up here because we are conditioned by trauma to gravitate toward each other.

“Let’s go down to the beach. It’s so sunny and warm today,” Amber suggests.

There’s a lengthy debate, but no one comes up with anything better to do.

Jen gets up and grabs her purse. “We're going to go back to our apartment to get ready. We'll meet you guys at the beach.”

“I guess I need to follow you guys back,” I say, remembering I don't have any clothes here.

Tessa is very quiet while everyone scrambles around getting ready to go to the beach. “I'm going to skip it. I've got a lot of packing I still need to do.”

Everyone turns to look at her. Raven and Sin are the only ones who don't look surprised that she's planning on leaving.

“Why are you packing? Oh! Are you and Ford finally moving in together?” Jen asks.

Tessa shakes her head. She turns to look at me, and I can see the confusion written all over her face. That’s when I see that I’ve fucked up again. She wasn’t hiding this information from them, she was letting me decide when to tell them.

“I thought everyone knew I was moving back to Seattle after the semester was over,” she finally says after an awkward silence.

“That was before you and Ford got back together. You're still planning on moving?” Shane asks stunned.

Tessa looks at me imploringly. I had hoped to have this conversation with him alone, not in the middle of the entire group. However, Tessa can’t read my mind and mistakes my silence for having a change of heart about moving.

“I'm not surprised really. This is what you do. Did things get too real for you, Tessa? Do you miss being a rich girl? I bet Bennett would still take you back. He seems dumb enough to take whatever you're willing to give him. That's perfect for as often as you change your mind,” Shane insults her.

I don’t know where this is coming from. I know they haven’t made up yet, but I thought they were getting closer. This outburst is full of a lot more animosity than I realized he held for her.

“Shane, you're my oldest friend, so I'm going to do you a favor and give you this warning, you need to shut the fuck up right now. You don't know what you're talking about, and you're going to feel really fucking stupid when everything is explained and I don't think that you're going to be able to take shit back this time,” I seethe.

“What am I going to need to take back? Every single time you two get back together she does something that crushes you, and I'm the one left behind picking up the pieces. You never learn, and you just keep doing it over and over again. I thought maybe this time you had both gone through enough that it would last, that you could finally see what you have in each other, but instead, the first chance she gets and she's off and running again,” Shane explains himself.

“And you're basing all of this on her having to stay here to pack?” I ask.

“What more evidence do you need that she's leaving? She's fucking packing her shit,” he spits out.

---