Page 32 of Pretty Broken Promises

I shrug one shoulder. “More like a bit in the future. I'm thinking about transferring schools, playing football, and hopefully going pro. Do you think you could put up with all that comes along with me in the NFL? It would be a lot of attention, but it would also let me give you the life that you walked away from.”

She squeezes my hand. “I walked away from it. I chose to do that, and I haven't regretted it. If you want to play professional football, I will be behind you a hundred percent. But do it because you can't imagine not doing it.”

“I want to play, I love the game, and I want to prove my asshole father wrong. He always told me I wasn't good enough, that I would never be anything. I'll never see it for myself, because I’m never going back there, but I want to know that he is living in some dump of a trailer in Jefferson Park, probably sitting in a puddle of his own piss and vomit, watching me on television. I'll never acknowledge him in interviews, it’ll be like he never existed. He will know he’s the one who never amounted to anything.”

Her thumb rubs rhythmically across the top of my hand. She soothes the spike of anger thinking of my father always dredges up. “You don't have to become a professional athlete for him to know that his life was wasted. You've already accomplished most of the things he said you would never do. You’re out of the Park, you'll be getting your AA soon, and next semester you'll be playing in one of these big college stadiums. This time he won't get in the way.”

I need to change the subject. Her words make me happy, but thinking about him does not. “When am I going to get to meet your mom?”

She takes her phone out of her pocket and scrolls through some texts. “Uh, it looks like she won't be back in the States for a couple more weeks. So you should meet her when?—”

“When we move up here? You can say it, I already told you I'm doing it.”

“Are you sure it's what you want though? I just feel like I'm pulling you away from all of your friends and?—”

I put my fingers against her lips to stop the nonsense that she's babbling. “First, they consider themselves to be your friends too. And they are just that, friends. You are my past, my present, and my future. Besides, things can't remain the same forever. Not to mention, Sin has family here, so it's not like we'll never see anyone. Do you really not see Shane and Jen following us eventually? There are some excellent nursing programs up here, and he can be an electrician anywhere. My point is they will still beourfriends, and aside from Shane and Jen the rest of them can afford to buy a plane let alone a plane ticket. I'm not sure about Ted, but there's been a lot that he's revealed lately so if he's a secret millionaire, I wouldn't be surprised. Plus if I do go pro, we'll probably have to move at least for a while during the season. Are you going to be okay with that?”

She's nodding her head before I even finish speaking. “Absolutely that sounds like a fair compromise. You move here now, and when you get signed with a team we will move. Alaska doesn't have any professional football teams, right?”

I laugh. Tessa’s aversion to the cold makes me wonder why she wants to live this far north, but I can see that Alaska would be a hard line. “No, Vixen, they don't have any professional teams.”

“Then I stand by my statement. We will move. Wait, the Dakotas don't have any either do they?”

I laugh louder and have to clutch my stomach. “You're adorable. No, they don’t, and neither does Montana. But some of the upper Midwest does, and upstate New York.”

She winces. “Try really hard not to get signed with one of those teams. I don't even care if they're the best. Think warm thoughts.”

I roll my eyes, and without thinking I bend over the table and kiss her. It's the second time this afternoon that I forgot to be more cautious. She gasps against my mouth and then deepens the kiss. Tessa tastes like coffee, toothpaste, and heaven. It's been a while, so admittedly, we lose ourselves a little more than appropriate in a public setting. When she finally pulls back, her pupils are wide and she's staring at me with that look of hope again.

Talking about this just reminds me there are so many more things we need to discuss. I'm sure this move is going to be coming up fast. The semester ends in a little less than two months, and then I will be graduating. Before Tessa came back, my plan had been to go to the university not far from Playa, and I don't want to tell her how difficult it is going to be to find a spot on a team with such late notice, but there are some strings that I can pull.

“We need to have a logistical talk. I know you want to take things slow, so I assume we are each getting our own place. I need to apply to some colleges and I guess for campus housing too. What are your plans? Do Tracy and Lydia still have a place for you in the apartment?”

An uncomfortable look comes across her face, and she chews on her bottom lip. “I don't think living with them would be a good idea.”

“Would they not take you back? Surely they can't be mad at you for coming back to Playa. You need to be protected. Damien was coming after all of us. If he had found out you were alive he would have come after you.”

“It's not that.” She hesitates and I can tell there’s something she doesn't want to tell me.

I take a slow breath in through my nose. “Where do they live, Tessa?”

“See, okay, here's the thing. The apartment I shared with them was in Playa. That’s the apartment I had my little breakdown in, and where Benji came to get me. So I didn't exactly have my own place up here when I came back with him.” She watches my face as I put the pieces together.

“What you're telling me is, you were living with him.” Well, I fucking hate that. It's getting harder and harder not to want to punch that guy in the face. And I know I would be a dick if I did it, but ask me if I give a shit.

She nods, too nervous to say the words.

“After he came and,” I swallow hard, “rescued you from Jesse’s, the three of you moved in with him?”

Tessa nods again. “We weren't in the best shape for taking care of ourselves. Like I said, Lydia is a ghost, Tracy is a little more than a zombie most of the time with some moments of clarity. As for me, I already had a shit track record of taking care of myself, so I don't think he wanted to leave me to my own devices after that kind of trauma.”

I might sound like a jealous prick for admitting this, but I have my limits. “I don't think I would feel comfortable with you living with him again.”

“I wasn't even considering it, but I can completely understand why that would be something you’d be against. We could, I mean, if you want to, I know, I said we should take things slow, but maybe we could?—”

“Tessa, are you asking me to move in with you?”

She fidgets in her seat. “Is it too fast? If it is, I can stay with my mom.”

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