Page 11 of Pretty Broken Promises

“Yes.” I answer without needing to think.

“Are you sure about that?” Ted interjects. “Because, to be honest with you I haven’t seen it for a while. Maybe, in high school. But, since then you’ve acted more like you hated her.”

Sin grabs the pitcher and pours himself a beer. I can tell from the look on his face he’s about to get all deep on me. “The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference. Hate is just misdirected love. It’s time we help Ford point himself back the right way and win back the love of his life before she adds another ring next to that rock on her finger.”

* * *

It’shard to wait until the next day. All night long my mind works overtime imagining all the ways he might be showing his love for her. I know he does care for her, deeply. I’ve seen the way he looks at her with complete adoration. If I believed she loved him as much as he loves her, I’d walk away. In my heart I know she still loves me, and as long as she does I’m going to work to deserve that love.

After a sleepless night, I look up her location on the app again, and find her at the entrance to a local national park. After a quick internet search, I find that it’s the location of a regional cross country meet, and figure out she must be there to cheer on Bennett. It’s my best chance to talk to her while he’s busy with the race. I’ll only have about twelve minutes, because of course that perfect fucker is fast, like qualifying for the Olympic team fast.

His race doesn’t start for an hour, which gives me time to get there, and wait for him to move to the starting line before I approach her. I watch them from a distance, and the way he casually drapes his arm across her shoulders as he’s talking to his friends and draws her into the conversation. I’ve always kept her at arm’s length, even when we were at our best. Now I see even our best wasn’t that great.

A better man would walk away and let Bennett make her happy, but I’m not the man he is. I’m selfish, and I don’t think I can live without her. I’ve tried, and in the two years she’s been orbiting on the outside of my life, I’ve been a miserable bastard, but I’m not sure you can call what I’ve done during that time living. Existing is a more apt description of how I spent my time when she wasn’t with me.

The starter pistol goes off, and the race begins. I take the chance to slip up next to Tessa. “Hey, Vixen.”

She looks over her shoulder and groans. “What are you doing here, Ford?”

“I thought that was clear. I want to talk to you.”

She blinks. “Talk to me? Are you sure you don’t want to embarrass me? Benji’s friends are around here somewhere. Maybe you want to spread some rumors. There are some people in the world who don’t think I’m a slut who likes to toy with men’s feelings for fun.”

Tessa turns and takes a couple of steps toward a group of people I saw her and Bennet talking to a few minutes ago, but I grab her elbow to stop her. “Very funny, Vixen. Is it really going to hurt you to talk to me for a few minutes?”

Her brown eyes meet mine, and I see the answer in their depths before she speaks. “With you, it just might.”

I nod. “I deserve that. I have a lot to make up for with you. I want the chance to try. Not like last night. I meant to come and grovel, but then I saw you dressed up for him.” I take her hand, and run my finger over the large diamond on her finger. “Still wearing this, and I saw red. I reacted badly, and I’m really, really sorry.”

“I believe you, and I accept your apology,” she says.

“Thank you,” I start to say.

She holds up her hand. “But it’s not enough, Ford. I can forgive you, and let go of all the hurt. I can do that because I need to move on. Let me go. You owe me that much.”

“I owe you way more, but I can’t do it. I think you could have a good life with Bennet. You can be satisfied with him. That’s not enough for you, Tess. You deserve to be more than satisfied. I know we’ve been?—”

“Toxic?” she supplies.

I nod. “Yeah, I guess toxic is a fitting description, but we can be more. Everything that has been bad about us, all that anger, Sin says is just misdirected love. Tess, give me a chance to show you we can be different. That I can be different.”

She doesn’t run away, which I’m taking as a good sign. “I need a ride back to chez Sinclair. Benji was going to order me a ride because the team is leaving from the meet. We rode here together in his rental, but the company picked it up from here. So, if you hang out of sight until the team leaves and let me have this time with Benji without getting in our way, I’ll ride with you.”

Reluctantly, I back away and melt into the crowd. I try not to watch her run straight into his arms after he crosses the finish line. Unfortunately, I’m unable to look away while he swings her around in celebration. Bennet dips her back and kisses her. This isn’t an awkward kiss between two people trying to force something more than friendship, and from what I can tell, Tessa is reciprocating.

It’s all I can do to force my feet to remain planted where they are. I’m not sure if I want to move toward her to pull them apart or to run away. That pretty much sums up our entire relationship. If we’re going to move ahead that cycle has to end, and it has to start with me.

If she loves him, and seeing this I know she does, I have to admit I’m the one who pushed her into his arms. That doesn’t mean I’m throwing in the towel. It’s possible to love more than one person at the same time. What I need to know is, which one of us does she love more?

ChapterSeven

TESSA

My heart jumpsinto my throat as I watch Benji soar over the finish line. He’s won almost every race I’ve watched, but every time he sets off I practically hold my breath until I see him cross back over that line. His hopes and dreams have become mine because I know how hard he has trained for this. He throws everything he has into each race. It’s a lot like the way he loves, without reservation or hesitation.

This isn’t the race that gets him into the Olympics, but it is the one that qualifies him for the team that will get him there. I would have been a ball of nerves going into an event this momentous, but the only thing on his mind has been me. Even the night before the race I was the only thing on his mind. That kind of love and devotion is something I’ve never experienced before him.

No one has ever made me their priority, until Benji. That’s why I thought he might finish what he started at the restaurant once we got back to the hotel, but he didn’t bring it up again. We’re still in some weird limbo where we’re only semi-engaged. I’m still wearing the ring, he knows what my answer is going to be, but he still hasn’t proposed like he insists he must. I suppose it’s only fair. I made him wait weeks while I thought things through. He’s allowed to take his time to propose when and how he wants to without me pushing him.

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