Page 77 of Pretty Broken Things

His brow furrows. “Do you plan on kicking me out of bed tomorrow?”

I shake my head. “No, but we’re in a weird space. We haven’t decided on that future you talked about, but our old friendship feels altered.”

He crosses the room to me, and takes my hands. “I will never push or pressure you into anything. I can imagine the horrors you’ve experienced the last few days. I’m so sorry I didn’t make it to you sooner. I won’t forgive myself for that any time soon.”

I squeeze his hands. “You are the only one who cared enough to come for me. You came just in time.”

He shakes his head. “No, getting to you before you were hurt, or better before you were taken. Would it be too much to build you an ivory tower? I know a construction company that would do it.”

For the first time in days I laugh. It’s soft and small, but it feels like a release. I tug on his hand and lead him into the bedroom. I snuggle up to him like I always do, but this time I start to feel like maybe he’s my home. I’m sure, if I try hard enough I can love him. It might not be the earth-shaking kind I felt with Ford, but Benji’s love won’t hurt either.

Once again I swear to learn to love what’s good for me.

* * *

We hideout in the hotel for a few days while Lydia recovers. She wakes up on her second day in the hospital, and they clear her to leave on the fourth. She’s grouchy and ready to leave long before she gets released.

“I think we should all head back to Washington. I can hire security and I’ve got a team that can build you new identities that would meet the NSAs checks. I will also have a therapist on call to help with dealing with trauma,” Benji suggests.

Tracy and Lydia are nodding in agreement before he even finishes speaking. I can’t imagine how they are coping. I was ready to end everything after only three days, and they were held captive for months. Lydia had her consciousness robbed from her for most of that time. I’m not sure if that’s better or worse than remembering everything that’s happened to you.

“I can’t,” I blurt out. “I’ll never be able to live in peace until I know that Jesse and Kyle have been taken care of. And I want to get Poppy. I know it probably doesn’t make sense to you, but I need it.”

Benji starts to fidget. “Tessie, I can’t stay. I’ve already missed class and I’ve got a meet this week.”

He’s not going to like what I’m about to suggest, but there’s no changing my mind. “I’m going to stay and see this through. I’m done letting people walk all over me and get away with it. For once someone is going to pay.”

He nods several times, which I recognize as him processing multiple options all at once. “Would you at least keep the security team with you? They can blend in so that you can do what you need to do, but stay safe at the same time.”

“I think I can live with that. As long as they’re willing to set aside any moral qualms so I can do what I need to do,” I tell him.

Benji rolls his eyes. “Tessie, they’re mercenaries. They have no morals.”

* * *

It’s nothard to lure Jesse into my plan. Well, maybe plan is too strong of a word. It’s more like an intention to fuck up his plans in a way that hopefully ends with him dying slowly and painfully. I’m not completely unprepared, I have two scary mercenaries, and maybe a group of trained killers. That is if the things Benji’s investigators uncovered is true.

The most shocking thing I learned from them is that sweet Teddy Reese, the shy nerdy guy who was frequently overlooked in high school is actually Theodore O’Brian, son of the late head of the Irish mob in Chicago. Apparently, Teddy offed his old man, then turned state’s evidence against the mob, and has been in witness protection ever since.

As for Sin, the scary vibes I got from him when we met were very accurate. He was a trained killer for Raven’s dad since he was a child, as well as her older brother Lucien. According to Shane, Raven has quite the body count to her name as well, and not in the horizontal tango sense.

Then when you add Ford and Shane into the mix and my mercenaries might not be the scariest challenge Jesse will face. Everyone seems to think Shane is this nice guy. He’s all smiles and jokes now, but I know how fast his affable façade can change.

First I have to figure out how to approach them, and still color inside the lines Ford has drawn for me. If I come to them as myself, they’ll never believe it. I’m not even sure Ford knows the truth anymore. He’s told himself the lie for so long I think to him I am the coldhearted bitch who shattered his heart.

The hard part is waiting until Jesse is let out of jail. I know it is when, not if, which is the entire reason I’m not back in Seattle right now with the people who actually care about me. I start hanging around the campus as if I still go here, staying close to Raven because that’s where I know Jesse will be once he’s back.

Even though I know he’s coming, I’m still taken by surprise. He grabs the back of my neck, and I freeze before I even know it’s him. “Thought you’d get away from me, did you, stupid bitch?”

Any thought that my security will actually be able to protect me flies out the window when he backhands me across the face. He cocks his head to the side, and watches my face for any sign of pain. I won’t give it to him because he enjoys it too much.

“I bet you thought those hired thugs that have been hanging around you would keep you safe from me, didn’t you?”

My heart sinks. I’ve been strolling around campus thinking I somehow had an upper hand. He’s right, I am stupid.

Jesse keeps talking. He loves the sound of his own voice, and doesn’t actually care about other people’s opinions. “The funny thing about mercenaries, their loyalties can be bought. All you have to do is offer them more money than they were getting. I paid yours a hefty bonus to fuck off. They are probably on their way back to a country with no extradition treaty.”

He clamps his hand back down on the back of my neck. “Now, you’re coming with me. I’m going to teach you what happens to bad girls.”

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