Page 58 of Pretty Broken Things

When she takes a step away, I grab her arm and spin her around. Tears stream down her face, and I break. All the effort to stay away from her is exhausting. Gently, I reach out and wipe the tears from her face.

“Don’t cry, Vixen,” I whisper.

My words have the opposite effect and she only cries harder. It’s destroying me, so I do what feels natural and pull her into my arms. For just a moment I don’t think about Jen, or the distance between us. I forget that she’s technically my stepsister. The only thing that matters in this singular moment in time is that she’s here in my arms, and for the first time since my lung was punctured I feel like I can breathe again.

She’s not ready to talk, and I can’t forgive her yet, but I can’t let her leave either. There’s no plan, just a desperation to make her stay any way I can. “I don’t want you to go. I know we can’t go back, but we could be friends?”

With the back of her hand, she wipes the rest of the tears from her face. “Is that a question?”

I shake my head. “No, I want to be friends. Will you stay?”

Tessa shrugs. “For now.”

It’s not what I want to hear, but it buys me time to sort my head out. I can’t let myself get sucked back into her orbit, but I can’t let her leave mine either. Now, I just have to figure out how to hold her at arm’s length while holding on to her at the same time.

ChapterTwenty-Six

Ford

I pullmy truck in the loading area of an apartment complex in the sketchy area of Playa Pacifica. There’s a brick patio in the middle of a brick and concrete three-sided complex. Rusted metal rails go along the upper level and on the sides of the concrete stairs. Weeds sprout up in the cracks of the sidewalk, but there’s a couple of picnic tables and one of those built in barbecue grills like you find at a park.

The neighborhood is rough, but it’s all Shane and I can afford. I resisted when he first brought it up. Mostly because Grandpa Gene would be on his own again, and I worry about his health. He, however, had no such qualms. Grandpa insisted it was time for me to go. Apparently my presence was throwing off his game. I stubbornly resisted for two months, but after walking in on Grandpa and Ruthie making out like teenagers I agreed. The main perk of our new pad is the location. Yeah, it’s a rough neighborhood, but Carlo’s bar is a couple blocks away and the college isn’t much farther past that.

“Is that the last box?” I ask Shane as we finish unloading the back of my truck. I could look into the bed and see for myself, but I’m hunched over trying to catch my breath. We had practice this morning, and we got someone to take notes for us in our classes so we could get this taken care of now so we don’t have to lose hours working over the weekend.

Shane is also bent at the waist panting. There’s rivulets of sweat running down his temples when he straightens back up. He takes his baseball hat off, and shakes out his sweaty hair. “God, I hope so. How is it we have so much shit? We’re fucking poor.”

It’s not really funny, but at that moment it strikes me as hilarious. My laughter is almost hysterical. “We really are,” I agree with him.

“C’mon, let’s get this shit unpacked so we can collapse,” he says.

It takes a few hours, probably longer than it normally would, but we’re both tired after practice this morning. It’s taken several trips all over the valley to gather all of our belongings.

“We should have some people over,” Shane suggests, as we’re putting the last of the kitchen things away.

I look around at the apartment we just spent the better part of the day cleaning and setting up. “I don’t know, man. I really don’t want to have a party our first night here.” Or any night. The only parties I like are the ones I can leave.

“Not a party. Just our friends. Ted, Tracy, Lydia, and—”

“Why are you pushing this?” I interrupt him.

“Because you told me that you and Tessa were going to try and be friends. Well she’s been back in town for weeks, and you’ve yet to see or speak to her. I’m not sure how much longer she’s going to stick around.”

“What do you mean? Where is she going?” I ask in a rush.

“Woah, slow down. She’s still here, but if you don’t do something, that’s going to change. That’s all I’m saying. But, while we’re on the topic of people who haven’t been around, what is going on with you and Jen?”

I pretend to be busy wiping down the counter for the second time. I know if I tell him that my relationship with Jen has been cooling off he’ll swoop in and take his shot. I’ve been ignoring his feelings for the sake of our friendship, but I haven’t forgotten about it.

The truth is, since the moment I saw Tessa again, I’ve been pulling back from Jen. I tried to stop it. I’ve avoided seeing Tessa, but she’s still there in the back of my mind. I wasn’t lying to her when I said I’d never be rid of her. Tessa is buried so deep inside of me, I think she’s coded in my DNA.

Shane watches me with a smug look on his face. “The way I see it you can either go after Tessa or go fix things with Jen. Either way you’re going to lose one of them.”

“This was your plan from the beginning, wasn’t it?”

“You get one real, life altering love of your life. Yours is Tessa, and you’re throwing it away with both hands. So, yeah, I asked Tessa to come back to force you to choose,” he explains.

“And it has nothing to do with your feelings for Jen?” I press.

---