Page 57 of Pretty Broken Things

“Relax big guy. It’s not like I’m going to tell your girl what a huge manwhore you used to be, or that we used to bone on the regular.” Her eyes widen in feigned innocence, and she dramatically puts her fingers against her mouth.

“Oops,” she says, but we both know none of her word vomit was accidental.

“What is your problem?” I snap. I’m not about to forget that she abandoned me too. Maybe not the same night I was injured like Tessa, but she didn’t stick around much longer.

Tracy leans back against a high top table, props her elbows on the surface, then slowly crosses one ankle over the other. She’s taking her time, purposely torturing me. “My problem? What makes you think I have one?”

“Cut the shit, Trace. You left for six months and haven’t called once. I thought we were friends.”

“That’s the thing about you, Ford.Ididn’t reach out to you. It wasmyresponsibility to call you, right?” She twists her lips. “Thing is, my phone number never changed. You know how many missed calls I had from you? Zero. I’ve talked to Shane multiple times. Lydia calls me every few days. Tessa opened her home to me. Tell me,friend, is there any part of our friendship that doesn’t revolve around you?”

I take a step back. My brow creases as I take in her words. “Is that really how you see our friendship?”

She stands up straight, her casual demeanor disappears. “You’ve talked about how you felt, and what kind of friend I am. You weren’t my only friend suffering. And while you’ve been wallowing in self-pity about how your life went off the rails, Tessa lost everything. She walked away from her trust fund, her home, her friends, and her school. So, yeah, I went to Tessa. She needed me more.”

Before I can say anything else she spins on her heel and marches out the door.

Jen pokes me in the side to get my attention. “Go after her.”

“She just told you we used to hook up and you want me to go after her?” Maybe Jen isn’t all that in to me. Most girls I know would be halfway feral right now, not shoving me out the door toward a kinda ex and the girl who broke my heart.

“It’s going to bother you until you clear the air with her. And I know you’ve got unfinished business with the other girl out there too,” Jen says, her tone gentle as always.

I open my mouth to deny what she’s saying, but she holds her hand up to stop me. “Don’t even deny it. You have been fidgeting from the moment she stepped out with Shane, and you keep looking over at the door, even when you were talking to Tracy.”

“I don’t want her to come between us,” I say under my breath.

Jen puts her hand on my forearm, and lightly squeezes. “Then don’t let her, but if you don’t face this she will. What’s worse is you’re the one who’s putting her there.”

I swallow and turn to do the one thing I’ve been longing for and dreading for ten months, talk to Tessa.

* * *

Shane,Tracy, and Tessa stand in a huddle around the corner of the building. They don’t see me yet, so they haven’t stopped talking.

“This is fucked, Shane,” Tracy seethes.

“Don’t you think you guys have stayed away long enough? Just come back inside. You need to talk to him eventually,” he pushes.

“I don’t need to do anything. I told you I wasn’t on board with fucking up his life. He’s happy. We need to just let him be happy,” Tessa says in a husky voice. I know her better than anyone else, enough to know that’s how her voice sounds when she’s fighting back tears.

I can’t stand here just listening anymore. “You left me so I could be happy? How was that supposed to fucking work?”

She shakes her head. “What’s the point in going over this? It won’t change what happened.”

“Why won’t you fucking talk to me? I used to be the only one you would.”

Tessa and I stand in tense silence staring at each other. As awkward as it is for the two of us, it’s apparently way too uncomfortable for Shane and Tracy who silently back away, leaving us alone.

“We used to be a lot of things to each other, but that’s all changed now, right? I mean, you seem happy. Don’t go poking the past. Just go be happy,” she says softly.

She’s hiding something. I can tell by the way she drops her eyes and won’t look at me. My Tessa was fearless, this version just seems broken. And damn me if it doesn’t make me want to patch her back together.

“I’m never going to be rid of you,” I mumble.

This causes her head to snap up. Her brown eyes are almost black as they fill with tears. “Don’t worry about it. Tracy and I are going to see Lydia, and then we’re out of here. I promise this time, I won’t be back.”

She spins around and I hear her breath hitch. Any minute she’s going to walk away and disappear for good. This is what I asked for. I should want this. She left me when I needed her, but still I can’t let her go.

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