Page 55 of Pretty Broken Things

“Thanks, smartass. I know what city we’re in, but what the hell is this place?” I wave my arm in the general direction of the no-tell-motel she’s parked in front of.

“My mom’s place is a no go, and I’m assuming you don’t want to dig into the money daddy dickhead has been putting in the account you haven’t used in a year.”

I shake my head. “I’d rather perform oral surgery on myself.”

“Then welcome to The Shangri-La,” she says, moving her arms around with a flourish.

“It isn’t really called that.” There’s no way someone would use such a cliché name for such a shitty establishment.

Tracy points to the sign, and sure enough, that’s the name. Well it’s more like Shangri- a because the l appears to be missing. “You know Lydia is weird about anyone going to her house, so hers isn’t an option. I figured your dad’s was out,” she pauses.

I nod, letting her know that I’d sooner spend his money than go to his house.

“Okay,” she continues, “I wasn’t about to call Shane and see if that fucker could hook us up with a place to crash. Therefore we stay here. It’s cheap enough that we can afford it off of the little money we both were scraping aside working at the coffee house.”

I shrug. “Well, at least now I won’t be the only one urging us to leave by the end of tonight.”

She playfully pushes against my back. “You’re not getting out of this that easily. Now let’s pray there’s no roaches in the rooms or bed bugs because I need a shower and a nap.”

* * *

My old silverHonda hatchback bounces over the cracked and pitted asphalt of the parking lot for a dive bar located a few blocks away from campus. The painted sign is faded and peeled to the point it’s anyone’s guess what the name of the bar is. Shane only referred to it as “the bar” when he texted earlier for us to meet him here.

I park next to his Mustang, and kill the engine. My hands start to shake so I squeeze the steering wheel tighter to force them to stop. Seeing his car in the parking lot makes what we’re about to do real. I’m going to see Ford for the first time in almost a year, and I’m terrified.

“You aren’t that girl anymore,” Tracy says, pulling me out of my head. “I know you love him, but you’ve fought your way back from the darkest part of lost love. Seeing him isn’t going to send you back there. I won’t let it.”

“Then let’s do this,” I say, borrowing her bravery.

The inside of the bar is surprisingly welcoming. It’s every bit as rough as the outside suggests, but in a homey way. The furniture is scuffed and mismatched, but serviceable and comfortable looking. The nicest thing in here are two pool tables set in the back of the room.

There’s a group with their backs to the door, but I don’t need them to turn around to know one of them is Ford. I’d recognize his towering height and broad shoulders anywhere. The bell over the door catches Shane’s attention, probably because he is the only one who knows we’re coming.

He rushes over to us. “Hey, ladies, it’s been a long time. Come over and join us.”

I exhale forcefully, straighten my spine, and remind myself that I’m a different person now. I even look the part thanks to Tracy being my main shopping partner for months now. We look more like sisters now with both of us having long dark brown hair and dark eyes. Her hair is a bit reddish and she’s taller than me, but otherwise we could be family.

Ford turns around as we get closer and I watch as his smile turns to a scowl. It’s only a second before it morphs into a cruel sneer. He bends down and whispers in the ear of a pretty blonde standing next to him. She looks up at him with a mixture of adoration and affection, and I don’t need to see what happens next to know they’re together.

Not in the way he and Tracy were together either. I’m watching Ford moving on, and it feels like I’m bleeding on the inside. He slides his hand across her jaw to the back of her neck and pulls her face to his. He doesn’t ravage her like he would if their relationship was only sexual. There’s tenderness in the way he leans down to kiss her, but it’s not without heat.

I turn to glare at Shane. “You and I need to talk.” Without making sure he’ll follow me, I turn and walk back out the front door.

The bell over the door jingles again, and I turn to face Shane. “I can explain,” he says.

“Do it fast, because Tracy and I just drove eighteen hours for me to see firsthand that the only guy I’ve ever loved has moved on. Thanks for dragging me all the way down here for front row seats to that by the way.”

“I’m in love with her,” he blurts out. “Besides I told you before you left he was seeing someone.”

“You did, but I didn’t think you’d ask me to tag along on one of their dates. And I sure as hell didn’t sign up to wreck his relationship. He looks happy with her, Shane. I want that for him,” I finish saying in a whisper.

“And that’s why you can’t give up on him now. Yeah, he’s content with Jen, but he doesn’t love her. If it hasn’t happened by now, he’s just killing time with her. He won’t be able to ignore that now that you’re back.”

I shake my head. “I’m not going to stick around to fuck up his life.”

“Then stay so you can help him fix it,” Shane urges.

I want to tell him no, but he knows just which strings to pull.

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