Page 85 of Pretty Broken Things

“I still need to stitch your wrist,” Jen reminds her.

Tessa shrugs. “My phone will be on speaker anyway. Besides, it’ll distract me.”

I grab her phone and hand it to her before stepping out of the room. Her phone only rings a couple of times before a male voice comes on the other end.

“Tessie, is everything okay?” he asks.

Immediately, she starts to cry. It’s more emotion than I’ve seen from her in a while. A heavy, bitter feeling sinks in my stomach. I don’t know what I expected. While I’m being honest with myself for once, I can admit I’ve mistreated her when we spent time together over the last year. I couldn’t tell her I missed her, that I still needed her in my life, so I used her for sex. She thinks I’ve slept around while we were hooking up, but since the first time we were together I’ve only ever been with Jen and Raven.

There’s no reason she shouldn’t turn to another man. Maybe someone who will treat her better than I ever have. I can try to be a bigger person than I am, but I’m not sure I’ll ever be over her enough to let her go and be happy without me.

“Benji,” she says sniffling. “Everything is so fucked up.”

My fists clench. I remember that asshole from the night she and I fucked in the supply room at a nightclub.

I take a step forward, but Shane plants his hand on my chest and pushes me back. “You can’t control who she talks to if it isn’t Jesse or one of his goons. She doesn’t belong to you. Not anymore,” he whispers.

“She will always be mine,” I whisper yell back at him.

Shane just shakes his head. “Sorry, but you threw her away. I’ve tried to stop you over and over. I’ve called her and given her false hope you’d see sense. I even let you trash her reputation if it meant you might finally talk everything out and fix what you both broke. She’s not perfect. There’s a lot she should have done back in high school, but she did tell me about it.”

My mouth falls open. “You never told me that.”

He shrugs. “You always cut me off when I try.” He hits his fist against his chest. “You want to blame someone? Blame me. I told her to do whatever she needed to do to protect you. She wasn’t the only one convinced her dad wasn’t bluffing, and we both knew if she told you that you’d do something stupid like confront him. We both loved you too much to let you destroy yourself. Yet, you did anyway. By hurting her, you’ve been wrecking your own happiness. I know I can’t imagine life without Jen now that I know her. You’ve been without Tessa for two years, and we both know she’s the one.”

I fall to my knees. All the hurt and the lies pile up in front of me, and I have to admit I don’t come out looking so great. Yes, she’s lied, but I can only think of the times she did it to protect someone she cares about. That’s why what she tried to do to Raven makes no sense.

Without Shane berating me, I can hear her conversation again. It makes me feel much, much worse.

“Let me come and get you, baby. You’ve done enough. Tracy and Lydia are safe. You don’t owe those people anymore. They’re shitty friends who didn’t even know the three of you were missing. It’s time to cut off the things that hurt, remember?”

“Yes, I remember.” Her voice is small and soft. She feels safe with him, I can tell, and I fucking hate it.

“Have you thought about what we talked about?” he asks.

“I have, and I don’t know yet. I don’t want you to miss anything because of me.”

I want to burst in there and demand to know what she’s thinking about, but there’s no reason for her to confide in me. One thing is clear though. I’m losing her, forever this time.

ChapterThirty-Six

Ford

Jen won’t letme speak to Tessa after she finishes her stitches. “She needs to rest, and talking to you will do the opposite. I’m worried about her Ford.”

She points at the now closed door. “That is not the Tessa that I thought I knew. The person in there certainly isn’t the spiteful bitch who played with your emotions and seduced Sin to spite you and hurt Raven. This Tessa is fragile, and very, very broken.”

Shane and I share a look. She’s his girlfriend, so I let him take the lead on this one. He swallows hard. “This is the real Tessa. She’s definitely more broken than she was in high school, but she’s not exactly how Ford made her out.”

“So you’re saying she didn’t push you away, over and over. She didn’t lie to us, and do things that led to Raven having to be alone with Jesse and Kyle? We all know she screwed Sin where Raven would see. Are you telling me none of that is true?” Jen is getting very loud, and unless Tess has gone back to a catatonic state, she’s probably heard every word.

This is confirmed a second later when the door creaks open. She leans against the doorframe. “It’s true and it’s not true,” she rasps. Her voice has that rough quality you get after a hard cry.

Jen throws up her hands. “Thanks, that clears everything up.”

Tessa shrugs. I think she’s beyond caring about anything, or maybe she just no longer cares about us. “Ford experienced our relationship one way, so for him it’s the truth. My perspective is different. I would imagine the actual truth lies somewhere in between. I’ve done all of the things you’ve accused me of, but not for the reasons you think.”

She finally looks at me. I can see that talking to that asshat has helped her come back to herself. “Once everything is wrapped up here, I’m leaving. For good this time. I’d really like it if we could part on friendly terms, if not as friends. I blamed you for a long time for a lot of things, and refused to see my part in this mess. I might not be as bad as you think, but I’m not as good as I think either.”

---