Page 66 of Pretty Broken Things

He sighs into the phone. “First you’re going to have to believe you’re worthy of being loved and walk away from that asshole. I wish I’d never encouraged you to give him another chance.”

“I love you, Benji.”

“Love you too, little sister. Please think about coming home,” he begs.

“I will think about it. I promise.”

* * *

I manageto sleep for a few hours before my phone rings, waking me up. Jen’s way too cheerful voice greets me, and I grunt a reply.

“Get your ass up, we’re going to the McKinnick’s cabin in the mountains,” she chirps.

“Who is the we?” I ask. I already know what she’s going to say.

“All of us, plus Jackson and what’s her name, Alice?” she replies.

“We all know that’s not her name. She doesn’t respond to it like she’s used to it,” I comment. My stomach is sinking. I know what I’m in for, a weekend watching Ford flirt with her while he pretends I’m the evil shrew who broke his heart.

I know there’s a part of him that does think all of this is my fault. He doesn’t trust me because I lied to him when I broke up with him in high school. Ford knows why I did it, but he can’t look past the pain he felt when I left. I’ll be forever damned in his eyes for trying to protect him. I wish I could let him go without torturing myself until I feel nothing at all, not just for him, but I’ve always been an all or nothing kind of girl.

“Tessa, Tessa,” Jen shouts into the phone, and I think she’s been trying to get my attention for a minute.

“Sorry, I zoned out,” I reply.

“As I was saying before I lost you, get a bag packed we’re leaving in a few hours,” she says.

I groan. Jen knows I have a hard time being around Ford. “C’mon, you promised you’d figure out how to be around him. We’re all friends, and things being awkward between you two makes things tense.”

Tracy and Lydia are the only ones who know the true extent of my history with Ford. Shane knows most of it, but clearly he hasn’t shared those details with his girlfriend. I’m not sure how many more times I can dig deep inside myself and find the strength to keep faking that I’m okay.

* * *

The drive upto the cabin is uneventful. I even start to like Alice, or whatever her name really is. I’m not going to ask her either, because it’s clear she’s hiding from something. I understand the impulse to start over fresh. I changed my name in a way, but maybe next time I do need an entirely new identity.

After we get to the cabin is an entirely different story. It’s like watching a car crash in slow motion, except I’m in one of the cars. No one has held more than a passing interest from Ford since he and Jen broke up. That is until her. He’s not playing his usual games either. No, with her he’s being charming and polite. He’s even given her a nickname, Pretty Girl. It’s simple, but it’s a level of attention he has never shown anyone except for me.

This is the moment I’ve been dreading, the moment he moves on. I’m watching it happen, and it feels like all the cuts he’s delivered over the last year open at once. I’m going to bleed out, and he’ll never see my pain.

Everyone gets out of the hot tub, and the couples start splitting off to go to their rooms. I follow the crowd, and slip into a short dress futilely hoping I’ll manage to bring Ford’s attention back to me.

I go outside, but he’s not out there. Waiting inside is not acceptable, considering it sounds like a brothel during peak hours.

“Don’t you ever get tired of being available for him when he wants you and getting nothing for yourself. I bet he’s the only guy you’ve ever been with, isn’t he?” Jackson says as he steps out of the shadows.

He seems to materialize out of thin air. There’s something about him that puts me on edge, and it’s not the fact he looks like a dark god brought to life. Ford has a whole bad boy vibe about him that promises enough danger to get your panties wet, but not so much to make you fear for your life. Jackson seems to be flirting with the too much end of the spectrum.

He moves behind me, and I can feel his warm breath hit my neck. “He doesn’t know you’ve been loyal to him this whole time, does he?”

I shake my head. Ford thinks I’ve been sleeping around just like he has. It started when he saw me leaving the club with Benji. I don’t even have to try and make him think anything is going on, which I don’t, because if I so much as talk to another guy, he works up an entire erotic scenario in his head.

His fingers brush across my neck as he moves my hair over my shoulder. “Do you ever want it to end? The pain of waiting for something that will never come?”

“And what, your dick is the magic solution to all my problems?” I scoff and turn around to face him.

Jackson chuckles and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to him. “Let me ask you this, do you want him to continue using you like a fuck toy, or do you want him to get a dose of his own medicine?”

I narrow my eyes. “What could you possibly get out of this? I know men find me attractive, but Alice is stunning, and she wants you back. Why would you throw that away?”

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