Page 32 of Pretty Broken Things

The PDA isn’t the only reason people keep gawking at us. I’ll admit my possessiveness hasn’t died down since her birthday. Guys at school now turn around and walk the opposite direction when they see her. That’s not the reaction they used to have. She never seemed to notice, but guys used to trip all over themselves to catch her attention. Tess never acknowledged them. In fact she seemed oblivious to their very existence. It was one of the things that led me to see her as a stuck-up bitch, and part of the reason I didn’t let my interest stray her direction. Not intentionally at least. Never would it have crossed my mind that theCountesswas just an innocent virgin.

She still doesn’t seem to notice when a guy is interested in her, and I love it. When she looks at me, I feel like I’m the center of her world. It doesn’t matter if she doesn’t return their attention though. I’m not going to ignore when some guy tries to take what’s mine. Like her fuck-face ex, Jace, for example. He tried coming around a few times after I made her mine. Her acknowledging his existence that day at practice seemed to be all the encouragement he needed to pursue her.

It doesn’t help that he’s probably the only guy on campus who’s not afraid of me. That was his mistake. Well, his first mistake was cheating on her. Even after that the dumbass thought he could get a second chance.

If it weren’t for Shane I would have beat him senseless. Shane held me back. That might have bought Jace some time, but it was our classmates cheering for me to beat his ass that drove home the message that he vastly overestimated how much clout being the captain of the soccer team gave him at Ocean Bluff. I guess he didn’t want to risk his chance at playing for a European club team, because he backed off pretty fast when it became clear to him that the quarterback of the undefeated, state championship bound team could beat his ass without consequences.

I always thought having a girlfriend would distract me from the game and hurt my chances of getting a scholarship. Maybe with any other girl it would have, but with Tessa it’s the opposite. Being with her centers me. The rage I’ve lived with my entire life doesn’t control me, aside from my possessive caveman outbursts that is. Not carrying the weight of it elevates everything. I’m able to be present in school and on the field. It’s like I’m finally in charge of my life. Before I thought I was controlling everything, but I was kidding myself. I was surviving at best. There was always a part of my mind that was scanning for the next threat.

Coach Greer is on cloud nine, greeting all of us with a big ass smile as we load the team bus. It’s creepy as fuck. Coach Hard-Ass has worn a scowl every practice and game since I joined the team. Now he’s joking and slapping guys on the back congratulating us. Yeah, we just won the district championship maintaining an undefeated season, and we’re advancing to the playoffs, but we haven’t won yet. I seem to be the only one concerned he’s going to jinx us. Try as I might, when things are going this well, I fear the other shoe is about to drop, and things have never been this great in my life.

My priorities have been in the right place. When I’m at practice I’m a hundred percent focused. Even when thoughts of Tessa enter my mind, because I know that this is the way I am going to be able to deserve her. Maybe that’s a fucked-up way to see things, but this ability I have with a football can give us a future. As a result, I’ve been playing better than I’ve ever played before.

There’s only one dark cloud hanging over Tessa and I, but I try and ignore it as much as I can. Neither of us have seen any of our parents in weeks. I snuck home once we decided I should move in. Luckily, my dad was gone who knows where. He does have a job, but he usually works the graveyard shift because fewer people will notice he’s loaded at work in the middle of the night.

Since it was during the day, I assumed he was at a bar, or passed out outside of one. There’s always the possibility he found a woman with extremely low standards to shack up with. My father used to be handsome going by old pictures I saw of him that my grandfather has kept. Years of poverty and alcoholism have taken that from him and left behind bloodshot eyes, a ruddy complexion, and a nearly emaciated frame.

He has no problem cheating on my mom, when he has the opportunity that is. Hell, he’s been doing it for years. Yeah, she’s cheating now, but I can’t really blame her for getting some of her own back. My mother is still a beautiful woman. Her long dark hair and youthful appearance makes her look far younger than her thirty-five years. I’m not surprised she managed to turn the head of a wealthy man like Wendell James. She sure as shit never belonged with a loser like Lyle Shaw.

These are the deep thoughts that consume me on the two-hour bus ride back to Ocean Bluff High. Shane is texting some girl he met after the game, like that’s going to work out with this distance, but he’s restless since he and Lydia are off again. A few of the guys are sleeping, and there seems to be a poker game going a few rows up. It’s pretty sedate after a win like we just had, but we’ve grown used to winning. After a while, celebrating gets old.

I could text Tessa, but she’s hanging out with Tracy and Lydia tonight. They’re doing girly shit, and Tracy threatened my balls if I intrude. I believe she means it, so I sit in the silence with my thoughts.

The loudest of them is wondering when my mom or her dad is going to make an appearance. My parents aren’t the most involved, but prior to her relationship with Tessa’s dad, I used to see my mom nearly every day. I haven’t seen her now for nearly three months. I kind of always thought it was the two of us versus my dad, but now I see all three of us were just out for ourselves.

The bus pulls into the school around midnight. I’m dead tired since I couldn’t sleep on the bus. I can’t sleep anywhere without Tessa. I don’t even care to change it. Turns out I don’t have to wait long to see her, because she’s waiting for me in the parking lot with some of the parents of the junior varsity team.

I’m so excited to see her, I don’t immediately recognize the look of apprehension on her face. I wrap my arms around her the moment I get close to her and lift her up. Usually she melts in my arms, but this time she’s stiff. Finally, I feel the tension radiating off of her.

Setting her down, I hold her at arm’s length so I can get a better look at her face. She tries to look away, but I tip her chin up to make her face me. “What’s wrong?”

Tessa is trembling in my arms, and that sense of foreboding I’ve been carrying around is closing in. She takes a deep breath and utters the words I know will be our doom. “My dad came home tonight.”

I swallow. “You said your dad. Was he alone?”

She nods. I don’t think she really understands what that means. “He said he has to talk to me, but then he spent the rest of the night distracted and checking his phone.”

I’m breathing fast. This fear isn’t new. It’s a sense of knowing that within the next hour my life is going to be turned upside down.

“I think I need to go to Jackson Park and check something out. Is your dad staying?” I ask her. “Are you okay to go home by yourself?”

I hate myself for asking that of her. Tessa should be my priority. She’s the one who has showed me love without conditions. Yet, Iknowif I don’t go back to the Park something terrible will happen. Hell, it probably already has, but maybe I’m not too late.

“Let me come with you,” Tessa begs.

I’m shaking my head before she’s even done speaking. “I can’t bring you there. It’s not safe.”

I don’t know what I’d do if the stain of that world ever touched her. She doesn’t belong in the filth I’ve spent my life in. Not someone as pure and beautiful as she is. And I’m not talking about her physical beauty, even though she outshines every woman I’ve ever seen. Tessa has the most radiant heart I’ve ever known, and I want to protect it.

She clutches my arm. “If it’s dangerous I don’t want you to go either. Just call the cops and have them check it out.”

I laugh a hopeless sound. I’d almost forgotten how exhausting life could be. “Cops don’t do shit in the Park. Besides, where am I going to stay with your dad back home if not at my house?”

“Will you at least call me later and let me know you’re safe?” she asks.

I kiss the top of her head. “Of course I will. I want you to text me and let me know you made it home. I don’t want to worry about you on top of whatever is going on back at my house.”

“I’m scared, Ford.” Tessa lets go of my arm and wraps hers around her stomach. “I feel like something bad is about to happen.”

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