Page 77 of The Acquisition

She waved away my comment. "It's fine. I had Beck. He's the only one who's been allowed to be with me most of the time anyway."

Beckett laughed. "My mom was driving her crazy with all her fussing."

Evie scowled. "I need to apologize to her. I don't think I was very nice."

"I'm sure she's already forgotten," Beck consoled her. I didn't doubt he was telling the truth. His mom was one of the kindest, most forgiving women I'd ever met.

Evie yawned and looked around the room. "Where's Jana?"

I scratched my head. "Uh, I sent her home. She was exhausted, and I thought this should be family only."

Evie hit my arm. "You did not say that to her. Jana was the first person I met here who gave a crap about me. Sheisfamily."

Her eyes teared up, and she angrily wiped at them. "Stupid hormones are worse now that Gracie's born than when I was still pregnant."

"I'm going to make him go and apologize to Jana," Beck told her while shooting me a look that said, "I told you so."

I nodded. "I'll let you get some sleep, and I'll go tell Jana you wanted her here. I'm sure she'll be by in the morning."

I walked out of her room and found myself in front of the nursery. I couldn't see Gracie from there, since she was in a more protected area of the floor in the NICU, but I could see all the other babies. I couldn't help wondering what Evie looked like when she was that small.

All the time I missed out on would probably never get easier. I tipped my head against the glass and felt a tear slip down my face. I did something I hadn't done since finding out Evie was my daughter; I spoke to Jenny.

"We're grandparents, Jenny," I whispered. "I hope you are looking over our little girls. I promise to take good care of both of them. I still miss you. I hate that you don't get to be here with me to see this."

I heard a gasp behind me and turned around to see Jana's shocked face. I reached out a hand to her, but she took a step back.

"Jana," I said, but I wasn't sure what to follow it up with.

She shook her head. Tears fell down her face, and I realized I'd never seen her cry. Her father hadn't even made her cry with the shit he put her through. No, that dishonor fell directly on my shoulders.

"No," she choked back more tears. "I can see this is a family thing. Your family with Jenny."

"Let's just go somewhere and talk."

"I think I'm going to go home," she said, her chin tipped up in that stubborn way she had.

"Okay." I shoved my hand through my hair again. "I'll see you when I get home.

Her head shook again. "No, Caroline called. She was able to free up my personal assets, so I guess we don't have to do this anymore. I—I'm not family, so I should really be getting back to my life."

"Jana," I sighed. It had been a long, stressful day. "Don't do that. I told you I was in this."

"Well," she whispered, "you don't have to be. I'm giving you the space you said you needed."

She turned and ran down the hallway. Only then did Beck's warning really sink in. I'd only just gotten past Jana's walls and I'd blown it. One crisis and I pushed her away when I should have held on tight.

TWENTY-NINE

JANA

Iran out of the hospital without a thought to where I was headed. My head was a mess, and my heart ached. For once I longed for the numbness I'd been blanketed by before Colter stormed into my life. It turned out feelings weren't so great after all. Sure, I'd felt real joy for the first time in years, but I wasn't convinced it was worth the pain I was experiencing now.

Caroline's message popped into my head. I glanced at the time and hoped she wasn't in bed at ten at night.

She answered on the second ring. "Jana?"

"I hope I didn't wake you, but you said I can have my apartment back?"

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