Page 77 of Peaceful Chaos

"I was the one who rejected you," Jen speaks to Tessa.

"Jen, no," she protests.

Jen holds her hand up, stopping the argument Tessa is trying to make. "I did. I saw how much Ford was hurting, Raven too, and I was angry at you. I pushed you out. Amber followed along with me."

"Well, that's pretty dismissive," Amber says, finally joining the group with Ted and Lucien right behind her.

"That's not what I meant," Jen says.

Amber shrugs. "I know I'm the quiet one, the one who goes along with everyone else. Part of it is how I was raised, but that doesn't mean I'm incapable of making decisions for myself. You don't get to take all the blame. I pushed Tessa out of the group right along with you because she threatened what was most important to me. You guys are my family. More real than the one I was born into, and I was afraid she'd tear us apart."

"You're right. I was willing to drag everyone down with me while I self-destructed. And none of it really had anything to do with any of you. Jesse—" Her voice breaks, and out of the corner of my eye I see Ford ball his fists.

"You don't have to say it," I say quietly.

I know that pain. The oiliness that covers your soul when someone has taken away your choice. Maybe she and I are broken in the same way. I look down at Raven and see the same look. The desolation that remains even after revenge.

"I'm not that person anymore," Tessa whispers. "I'm sorry for all the messed up things I did. I wish I'd said something, asked for help, but I didn't. I just hurt and wanted everyone to feel my pain. So part of me feels bad for whatever she might be going through, but I can also understand why you guys pushed me away. We can feel bad for Jenna and not let her hurt us."

"Are we done bonding?" Lucien asks, ending the heartfelt moment. I've never been happier that he's such an asshole before. "She's going to be waking up in a matter of hours, and we need to figure out how we're going to handle this before then."

I lead the way out of the back room where Jenna is sleeping off the drugs. Turning to Ted, I ask, "Did the goons give up anything?"

"Yeah, actually. A little too easily. I didn't get to play nearly enough."

"How did we ever think you were a harmless nerd?" Shane wonders aloud.

"People see what they want to. Slouch your shoulders, wear some nerdy t-shirts, and talk about Star Wars enough, and people stop seeing the threat right in front of them."

"Fascinating, but can we get back to what you learned from the men we've got tied up in the other room?" I redirect everyone's attention back to what's most important.

"The bitch hired them. I don't think they even know who Damien Blackthorne is," he says, slipping back from affable geek to stone-cold killer.

Without saying a word, I walk across the gym and let out my anger on a punching bag. Ford trails close behind me, patiently watching as I pound the bag, until I hit it hard enough that it swings back at me. Before it smacks into me, he grabs it and groans when it hits him and jars his shoulder.

I pace in a small circle and shake out my abused hand. "What are you doing? Why are you even here?"

"I'm done staying in bed," he grumbles and moves his shoulder like I did my hand. "Besides I'm the only one with the keys to the building."

"Well, go sit down or something," I grumble. Feelings are a pain in the ass. Turns out my need to overprotect extends beyond Raven.

He complains all the way over to one of the weight benches, but it's a testament to how much pain he's still in that he complies and sits down.

The main door slides open and Brett Marks walks in. "I see you are all staying out of trouble," he says, eyeing Ford's still bruised face.

Lucien smirks, preparing to say something offensive no doubt. I point at him in warning. "Whatever you're about to say, shove it down deep."

He opens his mouth, and Ted slaps a hand over it before he can get out any words. "You better not make a joke about your cock right now."

Marks ignores him. "Javier called me and said you made a citizen's arrest on two guys who drugged a woman."

"They also fell down in the process, a lot," Ted replies.

Marks takes a long, slow breath in through his nose. "I know I've been away a lot the last couple of weeks. Grant is not handling things well. That doesn't mean in my absence you lot should operate like it's the wild west."

"I don't give a shit how he's handling things. We went and saved his ass and left Raven alone and vulnerable," I snap.

"Hey, she wasn't alone," Ford objects.

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