Page 62 of Peaceful Chaos

Perfectly Imperfect

Raven

Sin carefully placeshis hands on my thighs and slowly rubs up and down. His touch is feather light, like he's afraid he'll hurt me.

My lips hover over his, close enough to feel the heat of his skin, but not touching. "I'm not made of glass. Touch me." My lips brush against his when I speak. I feel him suck in a breath, and his hands twitch on top of my legs.

"You're still injured," he protests, but it's weak.

I kiss him, but he still holds back. "I won't break," I tell him and press my lips against his, trying to coax him into responding.

Sin growls against my lips, and I feel his tenuous control snap. His hands grasp my hips and he yanks me against him. I whimper when his fingers press against one of the bruises on the side of my hip.

The sound has the effect of throwing a bucket of ice water over him. He freezes up underneath me, and his hands fall off my hips. His head rolls back, and he sighs. "Not tonight. Not until you've healed."

Putting my hands on either side of his face, I force him to look at me. "If I've learned nothing else in the last few months it's that we can't wait for the perfect moment. You and I don't seem to be blessed with many of those. We have to carve out our perfects from every imperfect moment we're given."

He swallows but doesn't argue with me, so I press forward. "These bruises you're so worried about, they're nothing."

Sin's eyes narrow, and the muscle in his jaw clenches. "They aren't fucking nothing! Don't minimize what you've been through. Every mark on your body is a reminder of how close I was to losing you. I wasn't even fucking here to keep you safe."

"You're right. If Ford or I were a little closer to that building either one or both of us could be dead now. Or, all of Damien's men could have been back in Devil's Crossing, and it could have been you. That's not what happened though. I'm here, a little bruised but alive. I want to feel the pounding of my heart in my chest and the quickening of my breath."

He hasn't held himself back from me like this since he stopped holding me at arms length. My pride comes surging forward, and I stop trying to convince him.

"Okay," I say, my voice wavering as I try and keep from crying. All of the adrenaline built up to a crescendo, and I can feel an emotional crash coming on.

Usually Sin is my safe place to fall apart, but right now I need to be alone so he won't see me break over him. It'll just be one more reason for him to see me as weak.

I scramble off his lap and start for our room. My eyes fill with tears, and I can't help feeling rejected. He grabs my elbow before I make it to the hallway and keeps me from leaving. I refuse to turn around so he doesn't see the single tear rolls down my cheek, but of course he doesn't miss it when he turns me around.

"Don't cry, princess. I hate it when you cry," he says and gently wipes the tear from my face. "I'm not rejecting you. I just can't trust myself to touch you right now. I lose myself when we're together, and the thought of causing you more pain makes me physically ill."

"I need you," I whisper.

He groans and shakes his head. "I can't deny you anything. I know I like to dominate you, but the truth is, you're the one with all the power. But I just don't know how to give you what you want this time."

I lick my lips. "Just what I want?"

He kisses me, finally giving in a little. "God no. I want you every second of every day. It's a wonder I'm able to do anything else with how often I think of burying myself deep inside of you. If there was a way I could be sure I wouldn't hurt you, nothing would stop me from touching you right now."

"What if you let me touch you?" The words come out hesitant, afraid he'll shut me down again.

"I'm not sure I'm following." He's tense, but he seems to be listening.

My hands travel under his cotton t-shirt, and he sucks in a breath as my fingers meet his skin. He's definitely listening now. As my hands move up over his washboard abs, I drag his shirt with me.

When I get it to his shoulders he helps me by pulling it the rest of the way off, which I'm thankful for, because I'm only five-four and he's almost a foot taller than me.

He continues to look at me with a confused crease between his eyes. I can't leave him time to think for several reasons. Sin doesn't just like to be in control, he needs it. I hope this doesn’t trigger him, because I need him to fuck me. If he doesn’t I’m going to have to take matters into my own hands, and I'd much rather use them to strip the rest of his clothes off.

Once I have him naked he smirks down at me. "What exactly are you planning to do with me, princess?"

Putting my hand on his chest I guide him until he's seated on the couch again. "Surely you can figure out where this is headed, husband."

I stand in between his spread legs and slowly strip down to my underwear. The bruising does diminish the effect, but I'm counting on my lacy lingerie taking away his lingering doubt. It seems to be working, because while his mind might have some hesitation about having sex so soon after the explosion, his body is completely on board with my idea.

I slowly lower myself to my knees, taking the time to lick and nip at the exposed skin of his torso. Each time he sucks in a breath or his muscles tense under my touch, I feel a thrill race through my body.

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