Page 56 of Pretty Monsters

God, do I. Shaking takes over my body, and I'm teetering on the edge.

"I hate that you fucked him," he says against my neck, just below my ear.

"I hate that you fucked her and made me watch."

"I hate myself for that too. But if you're here with me, I'm not letting you go now."

"Until you push me away again."

"Are you with him?"

I could lie, but I won't use Ford like that. "Would I be here with you if I was?"

"I'd deserve it," he whispers.

"But he wouldn't," I reply.

His fingers move faster, and all reason slips my head. We shouldn't be doing this. It's too fast, too much, and yet, I'm powerless to stop it.

"You're mine."

"Only if you are mine," I toss back at him.

"I am. I'm so fucking sorry, princess. I can't promise I won't screw up, but I'll never hurt you like that again."

"Can we maybe have this discussion when you don't have your fingers inside me?"

"When will we find the time? I'm going to be touching you a lot, Raven. Are you ready for that?"

"Yes," I moan.

He focuses on the sounds I make, even though I've turned my face into the pillow to muffle them. "No wonder I thought I was dreaming. You are a fantasy come to life."

Finding a spot deep inside of me, he presses against it, and I go off. My chest heaves into his hand, and the walls of my pussy clamp down on his fingers. I want to scream my release, but I bite my lip instead.

"Fucking perfect," he whispers.

I shudder when he pulls his fingers out of me. My mouth falls open when he puts them in his mouth, sucking me off them. "I'm going to taste you soon. When we're alone, so you can scream as loud as you want," he promises.

"We're heading back today. Are you ready to be around your brother again?" he asks after several minutes pass.

"I think so. Are you going to push me away again when he demands it?" The insecurity in my voice pisses me off.

He kisses the side of my head, more tender than I'd ever experienced from him. "No. I'm done fighting this. All I've done is hurt you and myself. I'm not used to having feelings. I'm sorry I haven't handled them well. What happened with Ford?"

I turn to look at him, my eyebrows raised.

"Not that. I don't want details, but why are you with me now?"

My shoulders drop. I'm not one to slut shame, but it's hard not to turn judgement on myself. "We were hurting, and for that night we found comfort in each other."

"You've been in his bed for the last three nights, Raven." He isn't accusing, but wary.

"I'm not going to lie, we both wanted it to mean more, become more, but it just didn't. Last night we both agreed we were friends and nothing more. Best friends even."

He frowns. "I'm not sure I can handle that."

"Tough shit." My glare lets him know I'm not willing to budge. "I'm not in love with him, but I do love him. I'm still mad at you, and if you have a problem with Ford, deal with it. He and I were becoming friends already, but you and Tessa created a bond that won't be broken now."

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