Page 29 of Pretty Monsters

"Anywhere you aren't," she tosses back over her shoulder.

"You can't sleep with Lucien. He told me what happened."

She shrugs. "I'll sleep in the bathtub tonight. I don't feel like being pressed up next to eau d'whore all night."

Her indignant reply causes me to chuckle. Totally the wrong response, but not if I really want to push her away. Which I do.

"Fuck you," she snaps.

"No need," I call out to her. "Someone beat you to it."

She slams the door, and I spend the night tossing and turning.

11

Embers

Raven

Shortly after Iset myself up to sleep in the tub, I curse myself. I'd seen an old tv show where this guy only slept in a tub, and thought at the time it didn't look too bad. The makers of that show should get bent.

My body feels like it's been beaten. All of my muscles scream in protest as I try and rise from the tub. Folding the blanket and setting it and my pillow aside I decide to use the tub for how it's intended.

Instead of a bath, I settle on a shower. Spending any more time on my back in that shower is out of the question. Turning the water on hot, I try and force my muscles to relax. It's useless, though, as there's not enough hot water or pressure to unkink my muscles.

When I open the door, Lucien is standing on the other side glaring at the door.

"About fucking time," he sees me holding my bedding, "Wait, did you sleep in there?"

I shrug. "Why? Did Sin try something?"

"Not with me," I grumble, but not quiet enough.

Lucien scratches his chest and looks uncomfortable. "He's not the one for you, little bird."

Something pierces my chest, and emotion clogs my throat. A memory bubbles to the surface. It was right around the last time I saw him."Don't be afraid, little bird. It won't always be like this. You're better off alone than being here."

"You used to call me that when we were kids, didn't you?"

He nods. "Yeah. We were never given a chance to be close, but that doesn't mean I didn't care. I want you to have a chance to live a normal life, one I've never had. The closer you get to Sin, the less chance of that happening."

"Don't worry. He and I will never be close." I move out of the way and let him have the bathroom. "The hot water only lasted about five minutes," I call out too late as his shriek lets me know he's just stepped into a very cold shower.

I move through the apartment like an old lady, shoulders hunched and feet shuffling along the floor. There's only one thing I need at this moment, one thing I'd be willing to maim for. Coffee.

Yesterday, when I was cleaning I made sure the coffee maker worked and was set up for the morning. Flipping the power on it begins to gurgle my drug of choice into the pot.

Sin chooses this moment to stroll out of the bedroom looking better than he deserves. I still can't get the sickly sweet scent of perfume out of my nose, and I wonder if that was his goal all along. Well, he can go deep throat a cactus, because I'm done with men and their mind games.

He can go fuck an entire brothel for all I care. I hope his dick turns gangrenous and falls off. Deep down, I know this problem is all mine. Like the stupid, innocent girl I've been forced to remain, I fabricated a connection between us. I set myself up for disappointment, but it's one lesson bringing me closer to the woman I will be.

When I was a little girl, one of my nannies told me a story about a raven building her nest. She gathered bits and pieces of trash to construct her home. One piece of wood she pulled from a fire pit had a smoldering ember. When it met the string and dried grass that spark took hold, and soon the entire nest went up in flames.

My anger boils under my skin, much like that smoldering ember carried by the bird I'm named for. Sooner or later I'm going to come in contact with my kindling, and I'll burn the world down along with me. Maybe then, once my rage is spent, will I be able to find my normal. One thing I am sure of though, I'm done letting anyone else tell me how that is going to look.

"You're staring awfully hard at that coffee pot," Sin interrupts my inner musings. "Did you sleep okay?"

"Do you think I'd be trying to will coffee to brew faster if I had?" I snap.

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