Page 103 of Pretty Monsters

Raven stiffens in my lap, and turns to face me. Her hands thread through my hair, and she presses her forehead against mine. She anchors me, reminding me I don't ever have to be that person again. Someone who is passed around and used for the pleasure of others. Someone who is sent to bring death.

"Men, women, it didn't matter. I watched money exchange hands, and I was left with the worst humanity has to offer."

Agent Holbrook has a white knuckle grip on his chair. "You were raped?"

"Repeatedly," the word feels like fire. I clear my throat. "Eventually, I grew up. I guess an adult man wasn't as appealing. Not to mention I've been training since I was a child to kill. There are some men who are still sold for sex even into adulthood, but I guess I was too valuable for my other skillset to waste on prostituting out."

"And that other skill set?"

"I can kill without evidence. It isn't a choice I've ever made on my own, but I can do it and not regret it," I admit.

"How?"

Lucien leans forward with his elbow on his knees, studying the agent. "That would be where I come into the story. I trained alongside Sin since we were kids. We weren't sent out on any missions alone until a few years ago. I tried to turn it down for both of us, but my father told me if we didn't go that Sin was no longer useful. He'd kill him as easily as he would throw out trash."

I nod. "I tried to refuse at first. I was beaten by several men. My ribs were broken, I had a concussion, and I think I almost died based on how frequently I passed out. For some reason I wanted to live, despite how bleak my life had been."

"When I saw him, bleeding and struggling for every breath, I begged my father to let me take care of him. I agreed to do as we were asked, but managed to get a few concessions of my own. We'd take out targets, but I demanded that we only were sent after criminals. I was given irrefutable evidence. Pedophiles, murderers, family abusers, those sort of people. Sin took them out, and I would wipe all traces of my father from their lives," Lucien continues the story I began.

We continue to detail the entire sordid story, providing names, dates, and all other evidence Lucien has stored on a thumb drive. The entire process becomes tedious as he asks questions and has us go back over everything from a dozen different angles.

Once he's exhausted all his questions he stands to leave.

"What do we do in the meantime?" Ted asks.

"We are going to start making a case. I want to vet any agents assigned to make sure they aren't compromised before I give you a protective detail. Until I heard the story I thought I'd be able to have some agents here tonight, but I don't want to put you at risk by putting the wrong agent on your detail."

Ted shows him out, and the moment he's gone Lucien kicks a chair. "Are we any better off now than we were before?"

"There's a chance he'll go down," Raven says.

Lucien gives her a scathing look. "He'll get out of it. He always does. No, we put a bigger target on our backs than before."

"The renewed scrutiny should mean that the others can resume their lives. I'm pretty sure Damien will know where we are, and that there are less conspicuous means to ferret us out. They'll have to be extra cautious, but at least they can go back to school," I answer. My voice is flat. Sharing what I had to has taken something from me I didn't know I had left.

I'm spinning and I don't know how to stop it.

Raven climbs off my lap. "Come with me," she whispers.

I take her hand and follow her out of the room. I barely feel her skin against mine. I'm not sure even Raven can pull me out of this darkness.

32

Public Display of Affection

Sin

The entire timeHolbrook questioned us, I sank deeper and deeper inside of myself. It wasn't just the act of reliving the worst moments of my life, but knowing Raven heard every word. What must she think of me now? To know that I was once nothing more than a thing, a toy for others to use as they saw fit.

She begins to shake, and I'm not sure if it's out of concern for me, or disgust. I'm afraid to find out, so I say nothing. Numbness settles over me, much like it had when I was a child, and I do nothing more than exist. Breathe in and out, repeat until the pain starts to wane.

"Come with me," she whispers, and I follow her up the stairs.

We enter the room we've claimed as ours, and she shuts the door behind us. I don't react. Any minute she's going to tell me she can't be with me, and I don't want to hasten that moment. She's forgiven me for all of my fucked up behaviors, but that was before she knew how damaged I am.

She drops to her knees, and I exhale.

"I understand now. Your need for control," she whispers.

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