Page 94 of Pretty Monsters

29

A New Plan

Raven

"What? No, no, absolutely not!"I screech. My heart pounds painfully, and my chest tightens.

Putting his hand on the side of my face, he stares deep into my eyes. I see resignation. "I'll do whatever I have to do to keep you safe."

My eyes well with tears. "Not that. I'd rather run."

"We'd never get to stop. You'd never have a normal life."

Shaking my head vigorously, I clutch his free hand. "A normal life would be nothing without you in it. Please, please don't do this."

"We're out of options. Besides, it's long past time when I answer for the things I've done."

"What you were forced to do," I argue.

"Either way, I'm not sure it matters. I've killed people, but you're right, I didn't exactly have the freedom to refuse. Maybe if I tell them how I ended up being an assassin, I'll get a deal. Let's not worry about that until we know how it's going to go down," he insists.

"Come on, it's been a long day," Sin encourages me to stand. Pressing on my back, he urges me toward the door.

Reaching around me, he grabs the knob, but halts to speak to Lucien. "Let me know if there's any move against the gym or close to our location."

Lucien nods and casts me a guilty look. "Do you want me to start working the back channels to approach Whitmore?"

Sin nods, and my heart falls to the floor. I can't stop the fear creeping in whispering my time with him is now limited to hours or if I'm lucky, days. No matter which way we turn there's a threat looming on the horizon to tear us apart.

We pass Shane's room then stumble into ours, and I'm tearing at his clothes before he even kicks the door closed. Being with Sin has awoken a hunger inside of me I can't seem to quench.

Fuck the rules, fuck obeying, fuck everything. I don't wait for him to give me an order or wait for him to act. We share the room, so any second Ford could come in and see everything, but I don't care. I'm desperate to feel him, to hold him, and burn this memory in my mind. If our time is limited, there's nowhere else I want to spend it than tangled in his arms.

Tears stream down my face and my fingers shake as I make another attempt to pull off his shirt. He kisses me, and it's heartbreaking. It feels like a goodbye.

"Please don't cry," he begs. "I'm here. We're both here. Be here with me right now."

I jerk my head up and down, my breathing choppy, and my eyes sting with the effort not to cry. "I'm trying. I am, but I feel like there's a timer counting down over our heads. Is there no other option?"

"If there was, I'd do it. I'd do anything to protect you."

"I'm your weakness," I admit. "If it weren't for me, you could run and have a chance at a normal life. That's what I want you to do. Run, Sin, and don't look back."

The muscle in his jaw pops as he grinds his teeth. "There's no life without you. It would just be a different kind of prison. I can live with this decision, and you have to let me. If I can't get a deal, I want you to walk away and never look back. You'll meet someone else, get married, have a family, and everything I am doing will have been worth it."

I growl in frustration. "You stupid ass. That. Will. Never. Happen." I punctuate each word by drilling my finger into his rock hard chest. "I'm not going to move on. If you think I'm going to have some vanilla life after you fall on your sword, you don't know me at all."

He puts his hands on my shoulders and pushes me back far enough that I'm no longer poking him in the chest. "Let me save you."

"No," I tell him. Apparently, I'm really not good at following orders, but in my defense, this is fucking stupid.

We are both digging into our positions. There's only one option here. With Sin and my brother determined to sacrifice themselves, or really just Sin, I'm going to have to work around them.

He isn't going to give up his future to save mine. I'm not the damsel in some fairytale. I'm a warrior, and it's time he learn I can fight my own damn battles.

* * *

Sleep doesn't come easily.Sin slides in next to me and holds me all night, but I can't get my mind to shut off. Once the sun starts to slip through the cheap floral curtain I give up fighting.

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