Page 69 of Pretty Monsters

I nod.

"Let's just say his mother and my father had a lot in common. Once his grandfather found out, he stepped in, but he was old enough and big enough to protect himself by then. None of them will put Raven at risk. Amber is the only one who might break, but she's cagier than she seems."

Raven chooses this moment to exit the bathroom, wearing nothing except a towel. Ford doesn't miss the display of glistening wet skin as she moves through the room.

"I'm starting to like you, but that'll end if you keep eye fucking my girl," I growl.

He tips his head back and laughs. Fucking laughs. "I know she's yours. You can't blame me for appreciating the view, especially when I know what she looks like without the towel."

My fists clench. "Not the right thing to say, fucker."

"Calm down, killer. Don't you think it kills me to know that you fucked Tessa? I had to see that shit with my own eyes. As much as we all hate what happened, at least the three of us know that Raven and I are just friends."

"She deserves more than being a curiosity fuck," I growl.

"Yeah, she does. It isn't that I don't have feelings for her."

I growl again. While I didn't want to believe he used her for pleasure, I also don't like hearing him admit he has feelings for her either. My head is all sorts of screwed up.

"But," he continues, ignoring my outburst. "What I feel for her isn't the same as what I feel for Tessa, or what she feels for you. If we'd pushed ahead we'd have been settling. We both deserve more than that. Tessa and I are irrevocably damaged, but at least Raven can be with who she wants the most."

It's not enough to calm the beast inside of me that wants to lay claim to her in every possible way, but it's the best I'm going to get.

Ford's voice lowers. "I know what it feels like to have a woman so deep inside of your soul that it hurts. But, when she feels the same way, it lessens the sting a little. Perhaps in time I'll get over Tessa, but that doesn't mean I can move on to Raven. Not knowing she loves you the way I'd want her to love me."

"You think she loves me?" I ask in the same quiet tone.

He cocks his head, studying me. "Don't you?"

I shrug. No one has ever loved me. Desired me, yes, but love? No, not even my own parents, whoever the hell they are.

He shakes his head. "You're clueless. I bet you aren't even ready to admit you love her too."

"How would I know?" I sound vulnerable, and I fucking hate it. It's also weird that I can talk to him in a way I can't talk to Lucien, and not just because the subject is his sister.

"How does it feel when you look at her?"

An ache blooms in the middle of my chest, and I try to rub it away. "A little like dying. There are so many things that could take her away from me."

"There's a reason they call it falling in love. It's scary and hurts like a bitch," he says.

"Then why?" I honestly can't figure out why people search the world for another person to make them feel this out of control.

He shrugs. "Partly biology, but I think it's also because life would be boring without the rush. People do all sorts of things that scare the shit out of them to feel alive, jump out of planes, swim with sharks, you name it."

"You really do sound like a psych major," I grumble.

"Can't help it." He shrugs. "When this is all over, you should really find someone to talk to. It isn't a weakness to heal yourself."

"Would you?" I ask. Ford gives off the typical jock vibes when you meet him, but it's as much of a mask as Ted's extroverted persona.

He nods. "Yeah, I mean I was forced to in high school. When you come to school too often with bruises, they tend to step in. It saved me though. I was looking for an escape, and it would have ended in blood, either mine or my dad's."

Ford stands up. "I'm going to go down stairs. I've got a paper to write, and you have a woman who probably wants your attention."

I lock the door behind him and enter the bedroom. Raven is sitting on the bed, dressed in sleep shorts and a tank top, running a comb through her long black hair.

Taking it from her, I sit next to her and start working the knots out of her hair.

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