Page 38 of Beck and Call

"Why are you engaged to him if it's making you this unhappy?"

I looked back at the door. "Later, okay?"

She nodded. I knew I had a lot to think about, and my friends were going to hold a mirror to my life until I really faced the state of it.

"I'll swing by around seven. Will you be done by then?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'll head out of here at six and go to Jana's." Grabbing my phone again, I texted her Jana's address. "I'll have her put you on the list to be sent straight up."

With a sympathetic smile, she exited my office with as much grace as when she entered. Allowing some of the emotion I'd been suppressing to come out made the next few hours of work more difficult. Predictably, at six Beckett entered my office and told me the car was ready to take us home.

He wasn't expecting conversation, he hadn't since he awkwardly pulled away from me as soon as we went home from the planetarium. I was starting to realize he didn't really want a wife. He truly wanted an assistant at his beck and call. He wanted easy access to sex, when it appealed to him, and otherwise he wanted a life as regimented as his apartment.

At first I'd wondered how he could propose so easily, but it became clear to me the more I worked alongside him. Beckett was a remarkable salesman. His position as CEO of Anderson Global comprised much more than sales, but closing deals was a particular talent of his. I just hadn't allowed myself to think that I was a deal to be closed, until now of course.

Silently, I moved with him to the elevator. Jana was waiting for me out front in her car, but I didn't want to give him too much time to think about what he was going to do. It occurred to me he only really put in an effort when he thought I was pulling away. This time, I decided not to telegraph my intentions.

Perhaps if I thought those moments between us were genuine, I might try and fight to find the man he was buried under the walls he'd erected to protect himself. Whoever the woman was he alluded to not doing enough for, I doubted he'd ever let go of the guilt he carried around for her. I was young, but not so inexperienced that I didn’t know not to go to battle for a lost cause.

The silence waiting for the elevator was painfully awkward. He shifted from foot to foot, a sign he was restless and uncomfortable. This time I didn't try and ease the tension by making a pleasant comment about a meeting from the day or inquire about his evening plans. He hadn't been entertaining other women, I'd grant him that, but he spent most of his time locked away in his home office on conference calls or working out alone in his private gym. I'd seen very little of him outside of meetings and the journey to and from the office.

"I've got a dinner meeting with Colter this evening to go over some numbers. I forgot to mention it to you earlier."

I smiled, probably the fakest smile I'd ever mustered. "Don't worry about it. I'll grab a bite with Jana."

The doors slid open, but he didn't move. This was when he would reverse course and try and woo me back. It was laughably predictable, and I was fairly certain I was done with it.

"Are you getting on?" I asked in a nearly saccharinely sweet voice.

He unfroze and we entered the elevator. As usual he pushed the button for the underground garage, and this time I reached out and pushed the button for the ground floor. He scowled at me but seemed to be too confused to argue.

When the doors slid open on my floor I exited and moved with purpose toward where her car was waiting.

"Evie!" he called after me.

I raised my hand and waved over my head but didn't bother turning around. "Don't wait up, I think I'll stay over with Jana tonight."

The elevator doors slid shut, cutting off whatever he was arguing. Probably demanding to know where we were going, or something else he felt he had the right to decide for me.

Jana was behind the wheel this time, which was a blessing, as her driver wouldn't do what I was about to request. "I need you to step on it. Beckett is likely to burst out of those doors any moment, and I want to be gone before that happens."

"Yikes, I take it he wasn't thrilled with your plans for the evening?" As she spoke, she expertly maneuvered her yellow sports car through the thick rush hour traffic.

My nails dug into my hands every time I was in a car with her, but there were few people as adapt behind the wheel as she was. I always found it odd she spent so much of her time being driven instead of driving.

As she turned onto the next block my phone started to ring. I checked to make sure it wasn't Sabrina, but when I saw Beckett's name on the screen I sent his phone to voice mail and silenced my phone. Of course that just meant I had to ignore the incessant buzzing as he called over and over again.

I texted Sabrina to let her know we were heading to Jana's and not to tell Colter or Beckett where we were going for the evening. I also let her know I was going to turn off my phone.

As soon as I slid the off button. I dropped it into my purse. "Do you think he can track me with it off?"

Jana shrugged. "I don't know. I make ads, not tech. Maybe leave it at my place just in case though. What did he do?"

I sighed. I knew talking about the rapid demise of my relationship with Beckett was inevitable, but I'd thought I could have a drink or two before I got into it. "It's more what he stopped doing. We have said maybe a dozen words since I stupidly told him I wanted his heart instead of the moon."

Her eyes narrowed, and she shook her head. "No, don't do that. Do not blame yourself for this. He proposed to you, and then took you to a private viewing at the planetarium for fuck's sake. There is no way responding emotionally was the wrong thing to do. If he didn't mean his words and gestures, that's all on him."

Hiding my face by looking out the window, I tried in vain not to cry. I gave up as a few tears silently slipped down my face.

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