Page 27 of Beck and Call

"I suppose that will have to do," Beckett accepted.

"I'll go give Sabrina the lovely news," Colter announced and left us alone.

Beckett moved closer to me and took both of my wrists in his hands when I remained still. "I have issues, and as you can see they aren't only with control."

"This isn't going to work if you are going to be constantly suspicious."

"Fair. I deserve that. If you knew where I was coming from, you'd understand."

I looked up into his eyes and held his gaze. "Then explain it to me. We've known each other for less than five days now, and already it's tense."

"Are you giving up on me?" He let my wrists drop and took a step back.

Without thinking I stepped forward and placed my hand on his chest. He was exasperating. In one morning, he'd been indifferent, jealous, and insecure. All of these were red flags, I was well aware, and yet I couldn't back away from him. I guess I was more my mother's daughter than I'd ever hoped to be.

"I'm not, for reasons even I don't understand. But I can't move in with you yet either. We've done everything a bit backwards, and way too fast. I'm not even sure what it is that we're doing. Am I just an assistant that you fuck, or is this something more?"

"This is everything I'm capable of."

"What does that even mean?" I pressed.

"It means you're more than an easy lay. Beyond that, I'm not sure what to call us. I'm too old to be your boyfriend."

I made a face. "I'm not calling you my lover. I'm not European, so I can't pull it off."

"Why do you need to call me anything?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes. "You've met Jana, right? She wanted all the details last night, and I managed to put her off. I can, and will, avoid intimate details, but she's at least going to want to know what we are."

"Maybe she's more tactful than that," he suggested.

I laughed and grabbed my phone from my desk. "Just so far this morning she's texted:

Jana: How's the sexy bossman?

Jana: Hellooooooo

Jana: There's no way you went with him all the way to Berlin and didn't have hot monkey sex."

"Hot monkey sex?" he asked.

"I don't think the etiquette classes she took at her fancy boarding school stuck. My point is, she's relentless and going to expect some kind of explanation."

"Why wouldn't you have lunch with me?"

"Because I'd forgive you, and I'm still mad."

He put his arm around my waist, flattening me against him. "I know."

"You can't make decisions for me. I've taken care of myself for a long time."

"I want to take care of you," he whispered.

"And I need to take care of myself."

His hand on my back tightened. "I am trying."

I leaned back to see his face. "How?"

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