Page 40 of Beck and Call

I looked away. I wasn't sure I'd ever stop, and that wasn't a life for Evie. A better man would let her go.

"Evie isn't coming back, is she?" I saw the look on her face, so I knew on one level she was gone. I'd managed to destroy our engagement in less than a week.

"I'll ask you again. Why would she? Don't tell me money or status, if you haven't figured out she doesn't care about that shit, then you haven't been paying attention. I've only seen her around Sabrina the past few days, but even I can see the light she exudes could brighten your miserable life."

He seemed to have a genuine affection and concern for her, and it was pissing me off. "The way you talk about her is as if you have feelings for her."

"I care about the girl. She reminds me of someone I haven't seen in far too long. Evie makes me want to slay dragons and save my own damsel in distress. But, unlike the girl I can't forget, Evie has a strength that makes her seem far less fragile. I'm not trying to come between you, but I am starting to feel protective towards her. Make it right, Beck. You're becoming even more of a miserable bastard, and I didn't think that could happen."

"What should I do?"

"I suggest you figure your shit out, and fast. Tonight, if possible. She came by and talked to Sabrina earlier. They're all going to Graham's club opening," he told me.

"I hate that fucker," I mumbled. He was another trust fund brat. Actually, that wasn't fair. From all appearances, he worked hard and turned his inherited money into an entertainment empire. However, he was far less dedicated to his relationships and was a notorious playboy. Definitely not someone I wanted spending an evening around my fiancée.

"And yet, you can't go in there and demand she come home with you."

"Why can't I?" That was pretty much the extent of my plan. I'd burst into the club and throw her over my shoulder if I had to.

"Because you'll make her run farther and faster in the opposite direction of you," he warned.

"What do you suggest then?"

"You're going to have to hope she hasn't decided you're too much already. The next time you make a grand gesture you better mean it."

"What aren't you telling me?" I demanded.

"You seriously don't pay attention, do you? I've overheard her talking to Sabrina–"

"Overheard?" I interrupted.

"I may have, accidentally of course, pushed the intercom button a few of the times they were talking in Sabrina's office. When I did, I overheard Evie say that she is tired of your hot and cold routine. You pull her close then shove her away. I don't even know if a grand gesture is going to work. Her trust in you has eroded to the point I'm not sure you can win her back."

"So I'm just supposed to give up?" Fuck that.

"Unless you can tell her why you pushed her away, and convince her you won't do it again, you've already lost her. Like I said, figure your shit out."

He didn't say another word. Instead, he rose from the sofa, grabbed his coat, and walked out. It was horrible and perfect timing for the absentee waitress to arrive with two whiskeys. I swallowed the first in a few gulps and savored the burn in my throat as it spread across my chest. The numbing sensation that followed was like a balm to my confused and broken soul. For good measure I threw back the second drink I'd ordered for Colter to prolong the blissful numbness.

* * *

Why had I pulled away? I knew the answer to the question, but I wasn't sure how I was going to explain to Evie that I'd inserted as much space between us as I could because I felt like I was being unfaithful to another woman.

I'd missed occasional Fridays with Callie, like when I had to go to Berlin on business. Even then, I made a skype call from the bar while Evie got ready in the room.

For twenty years I'd kept as many Fridays open to visit the woman who'd once been my everything. I never let a relationship intrude on the time I spent with Callie, not because I was still in love with her though. I felt like I owed her a life, or at least some semblance of one. She would never travel the world, get married, or have kids.

Evie said she was my atonement, but she wasn't right. I still had Callie for that, and whenever possible, I supplicated myself at her feet. Ever since I proposed to Evie I wasn't sure how I was going to explain the changes in my life to Callie.

My driver, Dave, made the hour long drive out of the city to Brookside Manor. The serene setting did little to settle my nerves. I wasn't sure how I was going to figure out my mess of a life, but there were still promises to keep. I'd hold to my word, even if it cost me everything.

I greeted the night nurse when I entered the facility, and signed in, as I had nearly every Friday for two decades.

"Mr. Anderson, she's not in the solarium this evening. It hasn't been a good day, and she's been agitated most of the afternoon."

"Where is she?" I asked. This had happened before, so I was expecting the answer I got.

"You'll find her in her room, sir."

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