Page 18 of Harmonizing Hearts

My phone pings with text after text and I internally scream.

Jax: Emma, please pick up my call. We need to talk.

Jax: This silence is killing me. Why are you avoiding me?

Jax: Fuck, Em. Stop ignoring me.

Jax: I get it, Em. Thank you.

I turn to my friend, Angel, seeking solace in her understanding and empathy. The ringing echoes in my ear, before her cheerful voice reaches out, “Hey Em, I’m so freaking missing you.”

“Hi Angel, me too. Is everything okay over there?” I ask, holding back a sob.

“You tell me,” she mutters something before the noise of a shutting door in the background can be heard, “Jax called me asking about you, is everything okay?”

“N-no.” Tears spill down my cheeks as I pour out my heart, the pain and confusion mingling in my words. For once I don’t hold back anything anymore. I need advice or even anI-told-you.“I just fooled myself and now my heart is broken.”

Angel listens, her presence a balm to my wounded soul, but even her comforting words can’t erase the ache that has settled within me. “Em, I’ve noticed your compatibility but haven’t imagined you guys were so deep into each other. Take this time to relax and then once you’re home with a fresh mind, talk to him. Half truth or things you’ve heard are not always the way they look and trust me, I’ve experienced it first hand.”

I close my eyes to stop my tears and flop my head back, “I think it’s better to keep it professional and just give up. Love is not something fate has in store for me.”

“Em,” she sighs, “talk to him first face to face. That way you can see his reaction too and hear his version too.”

“Thank you, Angel.”

“Any time sweetie. Unfortunately I can’t be more helpful. Just trust your heart, okay?”

I hum in response before ending the call.

Trust my heart.

It’s not that easy and all I need now is space. Jax’s incessant texts and phone calls only serve to exacerbate my pain. Each message, each missed call, intensifies the gnawing sense of inadequacy that has taken root in my core. I knew he wasn’t the type for commitment, but a part of me hoped he would change, that our connection would be strong enough to overcome his fears. The reality of his words shattered that hope, leaving behind shards of broken dreams.

Two weeks later,as I step off the plane, back in LA, I brace myself for the encounter I’ve been both dreading and secretly yearning for. I make my way down the runway, my heart pounding in my chest, my emotions a tangled mess of trepidation and longing. I know I can’t hate him, no matter how much he has hurt me. He gave me a glimpse of the belonging I had been searching for, and I can’t erase the impact he had on my life.

And there he is, waiting for me, his eyes searching mine for answers, or perhaps for forgiveness. I meet his gaze, feeling a swirl of conflicting emotions—love, anger, and a fragile thread of hope that maybe, just maybe, there’s a chance for us to find our way back to each other. But as I take in his features, I see the remorse etched in the lines of his face. I see the vulnerability in his eyes, a reflection of the pain he has caused me. In that moment, I realize that we are both wounded souls, searching for solace in each other’s arms, yet unable to understand the complexities of our own hearts.

I step forward, the distance between us closing, but my heart remains guarded.

“Don’t shut me out of your life, Em.” His words hit me, and tears spill down my cheeks. His arms surround me and I feel like breathing again. “Baby…” I say nothing.

I can’t.

All my fears are here screaming at me. I'm not enough for him but still there’s a tiny voice whispering I should talk to him and explain why I acted the way I did. My arms wrap around him, my heart races in my chest.

“You better take care of her.” Luke stops near me.

Jax tenses, “What have I missed?” His confused voice makes me look up at him, finding his tired eyes staring at me.

“Can I trust you to drive her home?” Luke leaves my bags down next to me.

“Of course and thank you.” He shakes Luke’s hand without letting go of me.

Luke leaves me there and I take a step back, shedding my tears away. “Can we go, I need a coffee.” I’m in desperate need of caffeine and sleep.

Jax takes my bags and surrounds my shoulders with his arm, tugging me closer. “Of course.”

We walk in silence up to his car. He opens the car door for me, and I sit in while he puts my luggage in his trunk. My hands start shaking, tiredness and lack of sleep is creeping closer.

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