“I know and I'm…”
“Don't even dare to say it. You're not sorry, you chose to hide it from me instead. I was just a game for you, wasn’t I?” I look at her, puzzled. My brain refuses to work. What the hell is she implying? She gets up and walks away from my reach.
“Emma!” I don't want to shout, but she stops. I know she's crying. I can feel it even though she has her back turned to me. “Let me tell you the truth and then if you still want to leave,” I take a deep breath, “I won't stop you.”
She shakes her head. It's like being stabbed. My heart aches as my vision blurs with tears.
“Please babe, don't leave me.” The words left my mouth begging her. I hug her from behind even though she tries to free herself. I keep her close to me. Facing my biggest fear that tears my heart apart.
“You lied to me!” Em cries, stopping fighting me.
“I never lied to you to hurt you, baby. I wanted to make them rest in peace and take off a burden from your heart,” I confess, tightening my hug. “I never meant to hurt you, Em. You're the only one that is worth living for.” I turn her in my arms. The redness of her eyes is killing me. “Carlos is a friend of mine and he has dug a lot for information. I asked him to find out anything he could find. It took him more than a month, but he found out who caused the accident, and why it was achieved so fast.”
“He said you feel guilty.” She swallows before glancing into my eyes. “It was you?”
“What?” I step back, shocked. “No babe, what the hell are you talking about?” I can see her breathe again. “Blake was driving drunk when the accident happened. He was the bully in the foster care, and I was one of his targets. That's why he teased you.”
“Oh my God.” She gasps, trembling in my hands.
"Apparently, the mayor adopted him and paid a fortune to cover everything up." She bursts into tears, and I pull her close. "Shhh, it'll be okay, baby."
I knew it'll break her. That's why I didn't want her to find out this way. “I'm here, babygirl. I'll be here as long as you need me.” I kiss the top of her head, rocking her. Picking her up, I take her back on the bed, holding her close, letting her cry.
Hearing my phone buzzing,I open my eyes. I didn't even realize we fell asleep. Emma cried a lot, and I felt useless. I wanted to erase her pain instead I did worse. I look down at her, finding her lovely eyes staring at me.
“Hey, baby, do you want to get up?” I caress her cheek.
“No,” she snuggles in my arms.
“Babe,” I whisper, my voice shakes while a potent mix of relief and worry sinks into my bones. “Please look at me.”
Tears glisten in her eyes as she squeezes my hand. “I… I couldn’t do it, Jax,” she stammers, her voice barely above a whisper. “I was scared, overwhelmed by everything, but… I couldn’t go through with it.”
Understanding dawns on me, and I gently brush a strand of hair away from her face. “We’re in this together,” I assure her, “We’ll face whatever comes our way, hand in hand. Together, baby.”
She sniffles, a mixture of emotions crossing her face. “I didn’t know if you’d want this,” she admits, her vulnerability piercing through the tension. “But I couldn’t bear the thought of losing the baby, of losing a part of you.”
A surge of love and tenderness washes over me as I lean in, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. “I want you, this baby and the next hundred, more than anything in this world, baby girl.” My heart swells with love, “You’ll be the best mom ever and I’m so proud and mad at you for not telling me right away. I’d have flown in immediately. Fuck the concert and everything else, Em. I’m living because of you, baby.”
Emma’s eyes meet mine, and in that moment, I see a glimmer of hope, a flicker of trust reigniting between us. She caresses my cheek, “You look tired.”
Kissing the palms of both of her hands, my eyes linger at her womb, “Rest can wait, the important thing is that you and the baby are okay.”
“They are,” she nods.
“And you?” I shake my head before understanding her words, “They?”
As we pull out of the hospital parking lot, my heart is heavy with a mix of relief and confusion. The sterile scent of the hospital lingers in my nostrils, reminding me of the emotional roller coaster I just experienced.
What the hell was I thinking? How on the fucking earth did it come to my mind? Jesus Christ, I want to kick my own ass. I’m a coward and was ready to do the dumbest thing ever before even let him know.
The moment I heard their heartbeats I burst into tears and the doctor asked me again if I’m sure but this time my answer was the right one. They’re a piece of me. Something precious that life gave me for finally having loved someone without any limits. And if we’re not enough for Jax, then that’s it. I’ll grow them alone. But when Jax busted into the room even the last stupid thought vanished from my mind. He’s here. Which means he talked to Trish and he knows. He came here to stop me showing me he’s braver than I am.
Jax’s presence beside me offers some comfort, but I can’t shake off those words that play over and over in my mind.
Jax reaches for my hand, his warm fingers gently entwining with mine. The touch soothes me, grounding me in the reality of our connection. I grip his hand tightly, needing that lifeline of reassurance as we drive through the dimly lit streets. Silence engulfs the car, a silence that becomes unbearable when I see his split knuckles and my thoughts swirl like a turbulent storm within me. I know I can’t keep my emotions bottled up any longer. I take a deep breath, mustering the courage to speak, my voice barely above a whisper.
"Jax," I start, my voice trembling with vulnerability. "Are you going to get in trouble because of me?"