Page 87 of Morally Gray Daddies

“Yes.”

“I…” I searched the sky above me for a way to frame an answer that didn’t make me look as creepy as I sometimes felt. “I dunno.”

“Aubrey.”

“Okay, I do know, but…” I made a vague gesture with my hand. “It’s hard to describe.”

“Humor me. Try.”

“Okay, when I think of the kind of person I want to be with, the kind of man I see in my mind when I think about waking up in bed in the morning isn’t a David or a Lyle or anyone like them. It’s… it’s…”

It’s your father.

“Aubrey!”

I startled, wondering for a split second if I’d said it aloud. “Argh! Gimmie a minute! It’s not easy to put in words!”

“Just tell me who the guy you see yourself in bed with is!”

“What I find really, really sexy is an older man.” The words came out in a tumble.

Sonja lowered her sunglasses with a finger. “An older man.”

“Yes. Someone… experienced. Strong. Self-assured. A man who has no problem taking charge and doesn’t feel he has to ask my permission to do so. A guy who takes care of me as if it’s natural, the easiest thing in the world to do.”

Sonja laughed. “Oh my god! You’ve got a Daddy kink!”

I jerked up from my cushion. “I… I do not!”

“Oh, yes, you do.” Sonja chortled. “Everything you just described one hundred percent confirms it.”

“That is so not true,” I replied hotly.

“It so is.”

I thrust my hand toward her. “I just don’t want a… boy, that’s all. And just because that’s what I don’t want doesn’t mean I have a Daddy kink.”

“Except you do.”

I slumped back down. “Jesus Christ you’re being a complete bish right now.”

“No”—she pointed—“I’m being truthful and not letting you hide what you are behind a wall of denial because you’re kink-shaming yourself.”

“I’m not kink-shaming!”

“Says the kink-shamer.”

“God, I hate you sometimes,” I grumbled.

“No, you don’t. You love me because I keep you real.”

For a minute, we let the conversation die, each of us lost in our own thoughts. There was no way I was ready to admit to Sonja she was right, even if she was. Maybe, when it came to men, she had no qualms confessing her fetishes, but it was an uncomfortable subject for me, even if she was my best friend. It was hard enough to do it to myself.

“Let me ask you a question.” Sonja broke the quiet. “I think you once told me you weren’t really close to your dad. What do you remember about him?”

I frowned, thinking back on something I hadn’t in years. “He… He wasn’t around a lot when he and my mom were still married. He worked in construction and spent a lot of time on job sites away from home. He’d come back for a few weeks, a few times for a couple of months, and then he’d be gone again. Honestly, I barely knew him.”

Sonja nodded. “And what about when he was around? What was he like?”

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