Page 147 of Morally Gray Daddies

And just when I thought that I’d gotten everything I came here for and more, just when I’d been lulled into a false sense of security, Fin eased himself back into an upright position, straddling my legs, and reached for the duct tape and zip ties.

Without a word, he scootched down my body and turned, then secured my feet to the footboard, something I hadn’t done to Sabrina. Turning to face me once more, he ripped off a six-inch strip and leaned over to tape my mouth.

And then, when I couldn’t move, couldn’t escape, and couldn’t scream, he positioned himself between my legs and held up one hand, balled into a fist.

“Guess what time it is, babyboy?”

Chapter Eleven

Sabrina

Hours later, we sat at my dad’s old beat-up formica top table in the corner of the kitchen, eating cold and partially stale burgers in silence.

Every part of my body felt like it had been through the wringer. My eyes were sore and puffy from all the tears I’d cried. My wrists were sore and burned raw from where I’d struggled against the zip ties that had restrained me. My back ached from being flat on the old, springy mattress for the better part of the day. My mouth was cracked and raw from the tears that had sat for hours on my skin with nowhere to go, and from the scratchiness of Damon’s rough scruff and his punishing kisses. Every one of my holes had now been stretched and used. My ass was hot and welted from the belt he’d used on me, because once Fin had finished exacting his revenge, I’d felt so awful, I’d begged them both to let Damon spank me the way Fin had spanked him. Not so much to even the score, but to get the same therapeutic release I’d seen in Damon’s eyes when Fin had been belting his ass.

And somehow, I felt better than I had in years. Somehow despite the nightmarish events and emotions of the day, sitting here at this shitty table, eating cold burgers with two men I loved, two men who've always been such an important part of my life, just felt… right.

But If I was honest, despite my fucked-up feelings of wholeness, despite the fact that it felt like there had been closure from a past none of us had deserved, I had more questions than I had answers.

I ate the last bite of my burger, folded up the wrapper and pushed it to the center of the table, then looked between the two of them. “So… Daddy?”

Damon glanced up, his face a gruff mask. I looked at him, trying not to smile. His eyes were puffy too. I’m sure his back ached and his hole burned. I couldn’t see the raw, chapped skin around his mouth, because of his beard scruff, but I knew it was there. Fin had kept his word. Everything that Damon had done to me, had been done to him in return. When I met his gaze, blush flushed his cheeks as he glanced between me and Fin. “I’m not sure which one of us you are speaking to.”

Fin cleared his throat, as his eyes met mine. It was easy to figure out what Damon was assuming, and why he’d assumed it.

“I wasn’t talking to either of you. I was asking a question.”

“To who?” Damon grunted, wiping his mouth with a napkin as he finished his burger. “What question?”

“To either one of you. I guess. And… Daddy was the question.” I shrugged. Out of all the surprises of the day, their relationship/dynamic reveal had been the one that floored me. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. I wanted to know more.

“Let your current Daddy answer,” Damon spat.

I couldn’t avoid the deep sigh that escaped my chest in response to his obvious confusion and anger. I glanced at Fin, who nodded. “I don’t have a current Daddy,” I admitted. “That was… I never… it was just for you, Damon. Fin and I never… He didn’t even know that about you and I. And I didn’t know that about you and him. You called him Daddy, and that’s what I was asking, I guess. That was the question. I wanted to know more about that.” I paused, and met Damon’s gaze. “I didn’t know anything about you and him.”

“That was kind of obvious,” he grunted. “But it doesn’t matter. I made my choices. I paid my dues. Life moved on without me. The two of you moved on without me.”

The words, spoken with far less anger and more acceptance than he’d exhibited all day, tore at my heart. They filled me with guilt, but not because of what we’d done, but because I realized they weren’t true. And I guess, I thought after everything, Damon realized they weren’t true. I thought he knew. I thought we all did. But I couldn’t voice that. It was a conversation I needed to have with Fin, alone. Tears pricked my already red-rimmed, burning eyelids, though, and I shook my head, pursing my lips tightly together as if I needed to do that in order to control what came out of them.

I felt Fin’s eyes on me, and I glanced at him, surprised to see the same pain on his face that I was feeling. He shook his head and his own eyes looked wet. I watched, amazed as he pushed his half-eaten burger aside, and placed one of his hands on mine before reaching across the table and grabbing one of Damon’s.

His gaze lingered on mine, and a new round of silent conversation passed between us. I nodded my head, held my breath, and waited.

Fin

It was crazy, what I was going to say, what I was going to propose, but I wanted it more than I wanted my next breath. Sure Sabrina and I had bonded in his absence. We’d used each other to get past our trauma and grief. We’d dated, because it was an easy and natural progression. And we’d gotten engaged because we loved each other and that was what people our age did.

But most people our age, especially the ones we knew, hadn’t been through what we had. They hadn’t been manipulated by the town they grew up in. They hadn’t had their lives ripped apart by adults they should have been able to trust. They hadn’t been exploited as pawns in a game of corruption. That experience–our experience– was unique to Three Rivers.

And even when we’d learned how deep the corruption had gone, even when we’d been clued into the truths of what had really happened, we didn’t share that. It would have sounded crazy to most people. As a result, we hadn’t really gotten to process, to heal.

Today had been about healing Damon, but in some ways, I was pretty sure it had healed all of us. And I wasn’t stupid. One day wouldn’t fix everything. But I wasn’t ready for the healing to end. I wasn’t willing to let Damon heal alone. I wasn’t willing to heal alone.

“Damon.” My voice was rough, and I recognized that I was holding back tears that had been threatening to fall all day.

He tried to yank his hand away, but I held it in place. “Babyboy.”

He looked up and his eyes met mine. I saw the fear there, but buried behind it, I saw the hope. That was what I held onto.

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