As if Fin knew my thoughts, as if he knew I’d need something to concentrate on other than the impossible task he was giving me, he called out, “Count them, babyboy.”
And then, the only sound in the room was the air being pushed forward as the belt flew toward my ass. I clenched and shuddered, as if it could stop the assault that was surely coming, but of course it didn’t.
Crack. It landed, the sound of leather on flesh filling the small space.
“One,” I cried out.
I was surprised when he stopped to rub the burning ache, and even more surprised when he leaned over me to whisper in my ear. “Please forgive me, babyboy. I’m so sorry I failed you.”
My throat was thick with emotion, and I knew I couldn’t answer him without breaking down, so I just nodded, collapsed flat across the bed, and waited for the next stroke to fall.
“Two!” I cried when it finally did, landing directly on top of the first.
And then Daddy-Fin-paused again. This time his voice was gruff and thick with emotion when he said, “Sabrina deserves your forgiveness, too. She was a kid. One in a horribly impossible situation. The rug was pulled out from under her, and she had no other option but to move forward.”
There was a part of me that knew he was right, but an even larger part of me that still was hurt, that clung to my self-righteous anger. I lifted my head, just enough to catch a glimpse of Sabrina. She was staring back at me, her eyes filled with tears, her shoulders shaking. Was she crying for me, or for herself? Either way, she didn’t look happy to see me getting Fin’s revenge for the atrocities I’d forced on her as I would have expected her to.
Before I could process what that might mean, or how I felt about it, the belt curled around my ass again. I hadn’t been expecting it, and the cry that fell from my lips was one of pure anguish. I almost forgot to count, but at the last minute, cried out “Three!”
“Good. My good babyboy. Come on now, let it all out. Three more, and I want you to really think about what I told you to focus on. “Forgive us. But most of all, forgive yourself.”
It was a tall order; one I didn’t think I could obey. But I tried. My hardest.
The belt lashed across my sit-spots, leaving its lingering pain across the tops of my thighs. “Four!”
With each stripe of leather across my now aching ass, I concentrated on the truths that I knew. We’d all done what felt right. We’d all made mistakes. We all had a chance to forgive.
“Five!” I screamed out the count on the second to last swat, and as if some miracle had happened, as if my Daddy’s spanking actually had magical healing properties, I actually felt the tightness in my shoulders ease as some of the guilt seemed to fall away.
Fin sucked in a breath, and his breathing was ragged behind me. I could picture his chest heaving, his brow beaded with sweat from the exertion of how wickedly he was wielding the belt. He was panting, and I almost felt guilty at how hard he seemed to be working.
After a moment, the heavy breaths subsided, and Fin leaned forward to rest a palm across my aching asscheek. “You can do it, babyboy. You can let go. Of everything. Of all the ways we hurt you, and of the mistakes you made. Have you forgiven me? Have you forgiven Sabrina?”
I weighed the question, pondering it, and noticed how much lighter my chest felt than it had all day. “I do,” I breathed, stunning myself with the answer.
No sooner did it pass my lips, than Fin had a follow-up question. Or rather, a statement, followed by a question.
“I forgive you, babyboy, for the resentment I’ve harbored over your choices that took you from us. I release that resentment, and I forgive you.”
The final lash fell, and my voice broke when I called out, “Six!”
Fin’s voice followed. “And now you need to forgive yourself.”
It was easier to forgive them than myself, though and by the time Fin dropped the belt onto the small bed near Sabrina’s feet, I wasn’t sure how much progress I’d made.
My ass hurt, and I felt some sort of absolution, but I still felt hollow. I still wanted to grab at my anger and hold it over me like a warm blanket.
Fin wouldn’t let me. His arms wrapped around me from behind, pulling my body against his. His cock dangled between my cheeks.
He pressed kisses on the curve of my neck. I melted into him, thinking that maybe this was good enough. Maybe it was as good as I was gonna get right now, and I could be happy with that.
I started to turn in his arms, seeking his mouth, wanting to lay my head against his chest and just breathe in his nearness, but he pushed me down again, back into position, leaving me gaping in surprise.
Sabrina giggled.
“I thought…”
“You thought we were done?” Fin snickered. “We’re done with punishment. This is therapy.”