Page 84 of The Vampire King's Victory

“I think I may have hit him a little hard,” Balthazar said as he soothed himself and Christian by caressing Christian’s back with one hand.

“It will take time for this form to recover, but you did not give him a Second Death,” Caemorn assured him. “You did, however, stun both body and soul. Are you certain you are able to convince this part of me that it wants to merge now or must you wait until consciousness returns?”

“Caemorn, you disappoint me! Do you really think mere unconsciousness can stop me?” Balthazar harrumphed.

But Christian felt his Master’s unwillingness to touch Roan-Kaly’s mind. He was holding back as if it were something disgusting and rotting that he did not want to touch.

“You can do this, Balthazar,” Arcius said as he kept his hold on Fiona.

She still looked weakened, but determined as she answered, “You’re stronger than him by a long shot, Balthazar. I don't know how you endured--no, survived--those kinds of attacks for as long as you did. I wouldn’t have lasted five minutes longer and you lived through them for decades with your sanity intact.” She shook her head and gritted her teeth. Her fangs were out. “I should’ve helped you against him.”

“He had a hold on your mind. His claws were literally in your soul, you can’t expect yourself to have fought that,” Balthazar assured her.

But she shook her head again. “I mean before. When you killed this bastard the first time. Every single one of us should have been on your side! What he’s done ismonstrous!”

Caemorn flinched just a little, but covered up the movement and Christian’s empathy for him grew. Roan had been far more twisted than the others, it seemed. All the Kaly slices had gone insane--Christian could feel that coming off of them like wavesof putrescence--but Roan had a special place in the ranks of madness.

“You couldn’t have known that before,” Balthazar said softly. “I didn’t want anyone to know what he was doing. I feltashamedthat my own Master did that to me. It made me feelunworthy. As if I had done something, that I was someone, that made me undeserving of a loving Master. And because of what that bond does to us, I could not help but love him. No matter what he did to me or others.”

Christian held onto Balthazar so tightly. He sent his love to his Master with as much intent as he had withheld it at the very beginning of their relationship. And he realized then that there was a part of Balthazar who had not accepted Christian could love him. A hard, dark nugget of self-doubt that was iced over. It thawed, though it did not completely go away. It would take time and care to make that happen.

“I’m sorry, Balthazar,” Caemorn spoke quietly.

“Why? It wasn’t you who did it… I mean, it wasyou, but not you.” Balthazar grimaced as words failed him, which so very rarely happened.

“But itwasme. This is a part of me. The jealous part that always wanted to hurt you for Daemon caring for you more. Those things you felt because of Roan? I was the one that wanted you to feel them,” Caemorn told him with a stiff back. “To make you feel insignificant and small andunworthyof Daemon’s love and attention. And in my arrogant belief that I could split myself into parts to experience more of the world, I unleashed all of this on you and everyone else.”

“Kaly,” Daemon said quietly and Caemorn’s eyes shut for a moment as if hearing his name were a blessing and curse combined coming from the Vampire King’s lips, “you have always sought to touch the stars and, in doing so, you fell from heights greater than most have ever dreamed existed.”

Daemon laid a hand on Caemorn’s shoulder. The tension in that long, lean body relaxed slightly and his eyes opened.

“My reach exceeded my grasp,” Caemorn reminded him. “I will not make the same mistake again.”

“No, you will makeothermistakes. As will we all,” Daemon told him. “And that is not a bad thing. We need those around us who will call us on our terrible ideas.” The Vampire King smiled at Julian as if recalling a conversation they’d had about just this. His best friend went over to the Vampire King and tucked himself against Daemon’s side. “I allowed you to be on your own too much. I won’t again. You will be with friends and know you are loved just as much.”

“People should be around me to make sure that I do not do anything evil. Or, if I do, that I can be stopped before it can go so far.” Caemorn stood up, still not looking at anyone.

“Caemorn,” Julian said and lightly touched the Kaly Vampire’s upper arm. “When Christian and I saw you in Moonfall, you were… yourself. You don’t turn into a monster because you reabsorb this part of yourself. You’re at peace.”

Caemorn had turned his head to the side to listen to Julian. But he did not respond to those kindly meant and very earnest words. Instead, he simply said, “Please finish this now, Balthazar. I do not want this part of myself unbound.”

Balthazar, frowning, nodded and walked over to the prone body. He held tightly onto Christian’s left hand. He did not need to be closer to Roan to touch his mind. But Christian felt that he wanted to see the monster one last time before he banished it for good.

“I want you to stay with us again tonight, Caemorn,” Balthazar said. “Actually, I’d like you to simply stay in the Eyros Palace and let Lisette handle all the idiots that set off traps in the Kaly Palace. Less annoyance for you.”

“You do not need to say that, Balthazar. I can understand why you would both want and not want me anywhere but where you can see me,” Caemorn answered.

“Oh, you bloody idiot!” Balthazar snapped. He was glaring at Caemorn. “How can someone so smart be so stupid?”

Caemorn’s eyes widened a fraction. “I do not see how I am being stupid--”

“Of course you don’t! Because the one area where you are completely blind and idiotic is about yourself!” Balthazar pinched the top of his nose.

“You have seen what I am capable of. You experienced it first hand with my torturing of you and--”

“No!” Balthazar lifted up a hand. “No, no, no, that’s not how this is going to go.”

“And how is it supposed to go?” Caemorn lifted an expressive eyebrow.

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