Page 48 of The Vampire King's War

“You know, Daemon keeps asking you what you want. He still thinks--no, more like hopes--that if he gives it to you--if he can, if it's reasonable, if it won’t hurt those he cares about--that you’ll stop,” Balthazar stated.

Artemis lifted his elegant head. “But you don’t believe that?”

“No, because what you want--which you don’t even know consciously, by the way--is not something even he can do,” Balthazar said.

Artemis and Moira both froze. It was odd to see the same characteristic tic appear on two different people at the same time. Their heads were even tilted to the right at the exact same angle. They didn’t blink either. So it was like two dolls staring at him.

Creepy.

“How can you know what I want if I do not?” Moira asked with a faint sneer on her beautiful face.

“The heart wants what it wants,” Balthazar answered.

A frown puckered Artemis’ pure white brow. “I have no heart…”

Balthazar actually laughed at that. “Yes, well, you do. Both literally and figuratively.”

“So what do I want?” Moira challenged.

While he prepared his answer, Balthazar sifted through Kaly’s minds and found the answer to whether Moira and Artemis’ souls were still inside of them. They were not. They were in soul gems, locked away.

Maybe Caemorn can put them back inside their bodies,Balthazar thought. He realized that he hadn’t automatically thought of Daemon, though the king could likely do it. But he should be asked sparingly. We should make sure things are done so he does not have to.

“Your silence says that you do not know!” Artemis laughed.

“For you to be enough,” Balthazar said, coming back to the moment, and clarifying the real desire in Kaly’s heart and the regret that could never be assuaged.

Silence fell. They weren’t laughing anymore.

“For everything Daemon had before Julian to have been enough,” Balthazar amended. “You know your own limitations. Which is surprising really. But you knew you could never be number one to him. But you could be that treasured councillor. That trusted advisor. Even if he dallied with, ah yes, fools like me.”

He now knew Kaly’s poorly held secret. But how to use it?

Moira was like Roan, enjoying the control over her fledglings and her House. The sadism--now that he could cut it off from his own feelings about his Master--was more of a cold sort. It was distant and distancing. Watch these poor fools who have no power of their own! They must dance to my tune! See them try and please me and know that they never can but keep trying, just like Kaly had with Daemon…

Artemis was colder still. Perhaps it was the gift that allowed him to control people’s very souls made him more distant than even Moira or Roan had been. There was no warmth there. Only this ice. Like distant stars that no one could ever reach. What had he seen? What hadn’t he seen? And Christian could see more than him. That caused Balthazar to shudder. Kaly was responsible for Christian’s particular gift, but Christian would be more powerful than any Speaker to the Dead had been before, because his Master was Eyros.

Caemorn will have to teach him. He will have to figure this out.

“Do you know your limitations, Balthazar?” Artemis asked. “I know them. I am your Master after all. I even put some of them there.”

The urge to erupt with the statement, “You’re not my Master!” Sounded too much like, “You’re not my dad! You can’t tell me what to do! Fuck off!”

Balthazar shifted though slightly uncomfortably on the log, though he thought he covered it by smoothing his hands over the fronts of his pants. His rage at Roan--or rather, Kaly--and his hurt at being unloved as a fledgling was still there, but it was lesser than it had been just earlier that night. He had Daemon and he had Christian and Julian and Arcius and Fiona and his whole House and the entirety of the Eyros Bloodline and… gods, even Caemorn.

“It’s interesting that you wish that Daemon would be content without Julian,” Balthazar said, as he moved through Kaly’s thoughts as if he were swimming through them and moving his arms through the “water” or extraneous thoughts. “Because it bothers you no end that Caemorn adores Daemon, wants to be his fledgling, in name if not in blood, obviously.”

There was that flash of blankness on both Moira and Artemis’ faces though their minds were not blank at all. There were black, oily thoughts of jealousy and rage. There was, overall, this feeling of betrayal that Daemon would do or think or feel something that Kaly didn’t want.

Does Kaly think they’re smarter than Daemon? No, not exactly. More like they want to be valued. If Daemon does what they want then they are important.Interesting. What can I do with this? Anything?

“And you know what’s so very sad about all of this?” Balthazar flashed a smile. “Is that you’re jealous not that Caemorn wants to be Daemon’s fledgling. You actually know that Caemorn’s desires regarding Daemon are right and understandable. Because who would want to be your fledgling?”

There was an edge to Balthazar’s voice. He felt his anger slipping its leash and had to take a deep breath. For in that moment, he felt a crack of daylight come between him and Kaly. Kaly had not taken that opportunity to break free. But they could have. A prickle of cold sweat appeared along his spine. He could not make a mistake here. The fact that both Artemis and Moira’s faces were frozen again meant that they realized something had happened.

Not as distant as I thought it was. Hold onto Daemon. Hold onto all of it.

Balthazar swallowed and continued, “You’re jealous because Daemon might actually like Caemorn. Maybe he’ll get from Daemon what you never fully did. That definitely bothers you.”

---