THIRTY-SIX
Evaleen
“You both have known each other for how long?” I kept bouncing my eyes between them not knowing who to look at.
My mom appeared frightened. Was it from me or knowing Damien had been just outside our building. Probably Damien. She was never afraid of me. If I ever gave her the evil stare down like I did some people at work, she would laugh and call me adorable.
Edgar was no longer staring at my chest. Pretty sure he just saw me as a yelling floating head out to get him. Which wasn’t too far off considering how I felt.
“Evaleen, it isn’t like that.” My mom tilted her head in such an angle that seemed to trigger a rise in my blood pressure.
“Then how is it, Mom? How did Edgar promise you we would be safe from him? Did Edgar come here within the last month when I wasn’t here and fill you in?”
“No. We met fifteen years ago, the day after you ran away,” my mother said as I stared with an open jaw.
“This whole time?” I whispered glancing away from them.
“It’s not as if we kept in touch. Here, let’s sit down.” My mom tugged at my arm and I floated to the couch. My body felt numb from the revelation.
“Remember when I came here last month and said I knew you. That’s what I meant,” Edgar said as he took a seat on the brown leather chair.
“I thought you meant that night we got drunk four years ago and kissed, not fifteen years ago. Did Mom fill you in on what happened?”
They both shook their head and then proceeded to fill me in on the events of that night when I saw Damien Rosen for the last time.
“Is that why the police finally took my complaints seriously and began looking for Damien?” As they spoke about the past, tears welled up and spilled over. There was an anger in me from that time that I had shut away and hoped would never come back. But talking about it brought everything back. Every fear.
Now I was a woman, not a scared girl. I didn’t care how bad Damien had gotten, this time I was going to fight back.
“Yes, Evaleen. He went with me to the police station to help me look for you and to give them the information he had on Damien.” My mother began to run her fingers through my hair, knowing how best to soothe me.
“I remember the officer that found me at the women’s shelter two days later explained they were trying to track him down. She explained how he left right after I did, and they would find and arrest him. I liked her, she seemed nice. Not like the cops I first talked to about it. They never believed me.”
“Why didn’t you ever tell me, Evaleen? I would have helped you. I would have kicked him out.” My mother’s blue eyes turned glassy pleading with me.
“Because he hurt you, Mom. I’m not deaf, I heard you two fight. I know that he hit you. I wanted to bring you with me. I’m so sorry I left you with that man.”
My shoulders shook hard and I gave into a sob. I’ve felt so guilty for leaving her with him. Knowing how he treated her. Maybe that’s why I have always lived with her, to this day, to make up for the few days when I thought she was left alone with a terrible man.
“Oh, Evaleen, no, please. You ran because you felt you had no other option. Don’t feel guilty for leaving me. Please. I was a grown woman and should have kicked that man out the week after he moved in. But I didn’t. I believed him at first when he said it was an accident. And then the next time when he said he didn’t mean it, that he was upset because he lost a job. Every excuse he made seemed to make sense to me and confuse me a little more. To the point where it began to feel normal.”
I wrapped my arms around my mom as we shared tears together.
“In a way, it was a blessing you ran. It woke me up to how terrible life had become. I thought you ran at first because you heard him hit me, and I felt so ashamed. So very ashamed.” She trembled as she spoke but her words kept coming. “But when I saw your letter, all I felt was anger. Anger that he would do this to my baby. Anger that I was so lost in my own world that I didn’t protect you. Anger at the world that this still happened.”
“Hey, Mom, I’m supposed to be the bitter one, remember?” I smiled trying to help change the mood. It worked, my mom’s eyes brightened a bit.
“I’m just thankful he wasn’t in our lives long enough to destroy us.”
“But he’s back.” Edgar’s words were a cold reminder as to why we were revisiting the past.
I gazed around our small apartment. Everything was nice, but a bit worn. Loved. Even the coffee table with a few nicks, seemed to appear that it belonged. That somehow, after years of togetherness all these pieces made up the puzzle of my little family of me and my mom.
When we left that run-down house behind, we also left the furniture behind too. Everything in here is filled with happy memories. Now, they are being tainted by the past we never wanted to see again.
“I’m going to make some coffee. I feel like we are going to be here for a while.” My mother got up and went into the kitchen. That was her coping mechanism—puttering around in the kitchen. Whenever I had problems when I was young, I would tell her as she made me a snack, especially the boy problems.
“I’m sorry about what happened to your mom. That, Evaleen, I didn’t know about. But I did know about you, and I’ve never told you how sorry I am that it happened,” Edgar said leaning forward and placing his hand on mine.