Page 102 of The Attraction File

Her lips thinned as she cocked a brow. “Were you, Evaleen? Were you?”

Was I happy before? I thought about it. I guess I was happy in my ignorance. For almost two months it had been like walking on air. That’s not even because of losing my virginity, it was how I felt toward Edgar.

I felt like there was a piece missing from my life but I couldn’t see it until Edgar came over and showed it to me. He didn’t make me see it. He didn’t even yell. Edgar just smiled and took my hand and that’s when I realized how many years I wasted avoiding him.

Running from my love of Edgar.

“I was, Dixon, but now I’m happier. Not because I lost my virginity. That was a technicality. As frustrated as I was for still being a virgin, joy didn’t just open up in my world because I lost my V-card. It opened up because I finally let someone into my heart.”

“Oh no, not you too?” she said and shook her head as if it was the most shameful thing.

I nodded.

“It’s the worst, isn’t it? These men fool you into thinking they will always be there and then poof, they’re gone.” She waved her hands in the air.

“Edgar is still very much here and that’s part of my problem.”

“Edgar? Oh, that hot Thor guy who dropped in on the SWIM Meet two months ago? High five.”

Aria held up her hand and I slapped it to please her.

“Yes, Edgar took my virginity and my heart, and all I got in return was a baby in my belly.”

“Does he know?” Aria took a sip of her coffee, her eyes intent on my answer.

“No. I just took the test this morning.”

“Well, he should know about it. It is his baby too.”

It was, and I did plan to tell him but every time I got close to him I would see the innocent happiness in his eyes. That sparkle that told me he was only in it for sex. Sure, Edgar told me he wanted to be my best friend, but would he still want to if it involved raising a child with me? It’s easy to love someone when you have fun with them, share interests, but it’s a lot more difficult with the lack of sleep, spit up, and everything stinks of poopy diapers. When suddenly sex is seen as a luxury, done quickly and in the rare moments when the baby is asleep, then maybe he would realize that being with me wasn’t his idea of happiness.

I made up excuses this morning when I would run into him. He didn’t need to know right away. Let me get my own head around this before I involved him.

Let me prepare my heart to be broken.

“You’re right. I will tell him. Yeah, I will. Definitely.” Was I saying that to answer Aria or to convince myself?

Aria took another bite of her disgusting sandwich, and after chewing and swallowing she lifted her finger to me. “You know what would help? Vegas.”

I squinted my eyes at her and took a deep breath to swallow the bile rising in my throat. “I have heard that Las Vegas is the cure for many ills, like heartbreak and wealth, but I have never heard it help pregnant women.”

“All I’m saying is you should come with me. I am leaving tomorrow for LA.”

“And that relates to Vegas how?” I asked.

“Because after LA, I will be driving back to Chicago and going through Vegas on my way back.”

A road trip. A nice long time away from Edgar. Where I wouldn’t have to speak to him. I glanced down at my stomach and came to a decision.

“I’ll go. But I can’t leave until Friday. I’ll fly out to LA to meet you.”

Aria raised her fists in the air in triumph. “Yeah! Two down and one to go.”

“What?”

“Tiffany already said she would come with me. I just have to convince Morgana. But you know, her and Henrik. I might get her to come for the weekend.”

I nodded as my mind wandered off. Perhaps I could get some writing done while I was there. Try for a new location for my book—Las Vegas. Instead of a Scottish hero, he could be a high stakes gambler or a government agent like James Bond trying to take down a criminal mastermind.

My readers might like a change. I know that the dashing romance with the highland hero I had in my head didn’t exactly turn out as I expected.

It was time for me to grow up and realize that happiness was fleeting. With this baby, I planned to teach him or her the truth. That love wasn’t a fairy tale wrapped up in a pretty bow.

Love was rare and even when you thought you had it, it could easily dissolve into nothingness. I loved this baby even if I had only known of its existence for a few hours. I wouldn’t let anyone break his or her heart the way mine was broken by every man I trusted.

Edgar would be told, but it would be through a letter because it was finally time for me to spread my wings. Maybe when I’m in Las Vegas, I’ll look for apartments to rent. It’s time my mom and I moved on and got our own place anyway.

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