Page 92 of Fate

It’s weird to see him unmoving. Completely still. On an average day, Chase is such a large presence. When he enters a room, everyone notices. His magnetism is that strong. People watch him. Women devour him with their eyes. Men are either scared of him or revere him. Not now. Now he’s lying silently, sleeping, his abdomen wrapped heavily with gauze and his chest bare. I watch him breathe. Every time his chest lifts, mine does as well. With each inhalation, a piece of me settles, relaxes, allowing me to survive anotherday.

A warm hand curls around the cap of my shoulder. “Hey, honey, it’s late. Three in the morning. What are you doing here?” Gigi whispers, even though Chase hasn’t woken up yet. They have him on a respirator and under heavy sedation so he doesn’t feel the excruciating pain a gunshot wound to the gut entails. She pulls a chair directly next to mine and sits in it, facing me. She grabs my other hand and holds it in both ofhers.

I suck in a breath, and for the first time since it happened, my eyes fill with tears that fall over the edges of my lashes. “I love your husband,” I say with my heart in my throat and my fear spilling from my lungs.

“I know.” She blinks prettily, her green eyes so soft and welcoming in the dim light of the hospitalroom.

With every ounce of shame and pride I have inside, I repeat what I’m trying to say. “I really love him.” I squeeze her hand as best I can, trying to make her see. To understand what he did for me, for my baby, for Carson and Cora. I’ll never ever be able to repay that. Never. And this doesn’t include all he’s done for me over the past three years. I can’t losehim.

“I know,” she repeats.

I swallow, and the depth of my feelings comes out in a rush. “No, Gigi. I love him…like…like he’s my brother.” My voice makes the words sound scratchy and hard to getout.

“Honey, he is your brother,” she says simply, matter-of-factly, and pulls me into her arms. I go willingly.

“He could have died. And it would have been my fault.” My voice cracks, and I choke on each word, but I need to tell her. To admit the horrible pain that is swallowing me whole. “I could have lost him and you at the same time.” I hiccup through my tears, my body trembling violently as she holdsme.

Gillian’s arms tighten around me. “There’s nothing in this world that could take you away from me. And Chase is too strong to leave this earth without one hell of a fight.” She runs her hands through my hair. “And sweetie, he made a choice, one I’m very thankful for. Had he not taken that chance, you and the baby would be dead. Misty would have killed you. There’s no question in mymind.”

“But Chase could have died, and it would have been my fault.” I sob against her neck, the shame flowing over me like a tidalwave.

Gigi holds my hair and pets my back. After allowing me a few minutes to wallow in my misery, she finally speaks. “Do you blame me for your burns? For losing the ability to use your hand fully?” Her question is as soft as a prayer but hits me as hard as a hammer.

In fact, the question flashes straight through me like a lightning strike. I push back and focus on her eyes. “Goodness, no. What happened to me was the direct result of a madman. You are not responsible for Danny. Have you thought that for the past three years?” My mind whirls with the possibility that my best friend has carried this tremendous weight all these years.

Gillian ignores me. “Misty was a mentally ill woman. She quite literally lost her mind and her ability to judge what was real and what wasn’t. You are not responsible for her actions.”

“But…” I try, and she cuts meoff.

“No. Kathleen, I’ve not thought you blamed me for what Danny did. Not for a long time. At first I did. I worried all of you blamed me for what happened. But I worked through it with Dr. Madison when the situation went down. And it sounds like you are going to need to aswell.”

I nod and let my head fall forward.

“Chase is going to be fine. The doctors say he will make a full recovery. Sure, he’ll need to be babied, but he’s got four women and a host of house staff falling all over themselves to help him.” She pats my hand the same way her husband does when he’s trying to get a point across to me. “He’s going to be fine. Knowing you are alive, the baby you’re carrying is okay, is all he needs to motivatehim.”

I take a long, slow breath and glance at him. He’s sleeping. And he will have years and years to continue razzingme.

“You know, Kat, Chase would do anything for his family. And you’re part of that. Not only are you family through our bond, the two of you are close. Friends in a way the rest of us are not. That’s special, and I want him to have such a special connection. He’d have been devastated if you and the baby werehurt.”

She is right. Chase puts family above all else, and he was happy about the baby. Ecstatic, even. The more Davises the better, according to Chase.

Gillian’s phone buzzes from within her cardigan pocket. She pulls it out and lifts it to her ear. “Hello?” A soft grin overtakes her lips. Her gaze flits to mine. “Yeah, she’s here. I’ll send her home to you. Yes, she’s okay, just checking on the big guy again.”

Again? She knows.

Her lips turn into a slow smile. “Yeah, I think she’s worked through something that was keeping her from resting. I’ll make sure she leaves in a few minutes.”

“You knew?” I ask when she ends the call and puts her phone back in her pocket. “How? You were asleep.”

She stands up and pulls me up with her. “The nurses told me. I had to approve you coming into the ICU. How do you think you got in every night?”

Huh. It hadn’t entered my mind. I was just thankful when I pressed the button and told them who I wanted to see, they automatically buzzed mein.

“Honestly, I didn’t question it. Are youmad?”

“That you came and checked on my husband? That you love him and me so much you couldn’t sleep until you saw him alive? No, honey, I’m not mad. I’m grateful to have you in my life. Grateful for your love and friendship. Family is everything, and you’re my sister.” She pulls me into her arms, and I let the tears fall again while I holdher.

She keeps me close until our tears have dried up and I’m ready to go backhome.

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