Page 4 of Fate

“Liar,” he growls. “You’re going to regret not winning himback.”

“I already do,” I admit with a drawn-outsigh.

“Then do something aboutit.”

With a heavy heart, I focus on the destroyed flesh of my hand, the same destruction that goes all the way up my arm, over my shoulder, and down my ribcage. I’ll always be severely scarred. The grafting options and skin-smoothing surgeries are complete. They’ve done what they can. Now it’s all about physical therapy. Getting back additional mobility in the arm and hand. Applying copious amounts of lotion across the rippled flesh to keep it soft and pliant. Staying out of the sun helps but won’t make the scars go away. My body is no longer one a man wants to touch, to run his hands over in the throes of passion.

I shake my head. No, he doesn’t deserve to have his eyes accosted by the reflection I have to face in the mirror every day. It’s disgusting, and I’d rather him remember me the way I was. Beautiful, unmarred, pristine in mind andbody.

“No. He’s better off without me. I can’t be what I was. I’m not the woman he caredfor.”

“That’s not true. You are the same woman you’ve always been. A beautiful, talented, kindhearted woman with so much to offer a man. I am a man. I’m also Carson’s cousin and best friend. I know what he wants and needs—it’s you. The you then, now, and what you’ll be in the future. Trust me on this. Your scars do not matter. When love is involved, those flaws become a part of what your man loves about you. Gillian’s stretch marks from our children? I love them. I kiss them all the time. They prove my children were there. My son and daughter are alive because of those scars. I encourage her to wear them proudly.”

“You’re not a woman. You don’t getit.”

“No. I’m a man who loves his wife. Every part of her is mine. Scars and all. And Kathleen, she has many from before me I’d love to erase, but they show the path she’s taken to get to me and our life together. To her they are precious, and to me they are proof that sometimes you have to go through hell to get to heaven. She taught methat.”

“The love you have with my best friend is beautiful, but Carson and I never had that.” I swallow down the lump forming in my throat.

“You didonce.”

I blink, close my eyes, and flatten myself against the back of the limo seat. “You see, Chase, that’s where you’re wrong. Carson never loved me. He never once said it. Even though I said it all the time.” I laugh dryly. “He even requested I say it to him over and over. Adored hearing it from my lips. Would ravish me with kisses and more every time. But not even once did he say it to me. And when I asked why, all he could muster was ‘I can’t. Please don’t ask me to.’ So there yougo.”

“So, you gave up?” The accusation is thick in histone.

“Yeah, after everything, what I had to offer, repeated treatments, painful surgeries, and long recovery times… If he didn’t love me before, he could never love me after. I took a calculated risk and it failed. Every single time I pushed him away, he never once uttered those three little words. I begged him to say them. All he did was cry, break down, and shake his head no. I can’t be with a man who refuses to tell me he lovesme.”

“I know he does though,” he says softly and with intention.

“Words, Chase. I needed the words. He didn’t have them. I no longer have them for him. I have to move on. Obviously hehas.”

He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. “What can Ido?”

I cover his other hand with mine. “Move on. Ihave.”

“Haveyou?”

“Yes.” A bald-faced lie to one of the kindest, most loving men Iknow.

“You really need to talk to Dr. Madison about this lying trait you picked up. I’m not buying it and neither are your friends. Regardless, I’ll let you have your play…for now. We got great news today, and it’s time to celebrate.”

The limo pulls up to the curb in front of the Chase Industries building, where he and Gillian live on the top floor.

“Bring on the bubbly.” I plaster a fake smile on my face, knowing I need to put it on for Gigi. She’ll worry if I don’t.

Chase helps me out of the car and leads me through the building and up the elevator.

Gillian is waiting at the entrance with Carter on her hip. Claire bolts into her father’s arms the second he steps off the elevator.

“Daddy! Daddy! We have news too!” She grabs Chase’s face and forces him to look directly ather.

“Oh yeah? What’s that, baby?” He looks into Claire’s crystal-blue eyes, her red curls so like her mother’s auburn locks bouncing around her shoulders. “Auntie Ria says I’m going to get a bruh-ver! You hafta to take himback!”

Chase laughs. “You didn’t go to the doctor without me, did you, babe?” He poses the question to Gillian.

“Nope. But I did have lunch with Maria, and she did her voodoo hand trick and says it’s a boy. She was right last time, so anything is possible.” Gigi shrugs.

“Another boy, eh?” He grins, his chest puffing out in pride.

“Auntie Kitty!” Claire realizes I’m standing next to her father. “I’m getting a bruh-ver. Do you want it?” She crinkles her sweet littlenose.

I pet her cheek with my good hand. Under no circumstances do I touch the children with the disfigured one. If they were scared of me, for any reason…

A shiver slinks up my spine. I’d never survive that. My pseudo-nieces and one nephew are my main sources of joy nowadays. “Honey, I can’t have your new brother.”

She frowns. “But I ask-ted for a sister. This is not fair.” Her little pink lips shift into the cutestpout.

“Honey, life isn’t fair. It really isn’t.”

In more ways thanone.

---