Page 39 of Fate

“That’s definitely a start.”

“Yes. Yes, itis.”

I lift my phone and textback.

To: Carson Davis

From: Kathleen Bennett

Your place? I’llcook.

I wait a couple seconds before his response popsup.

To: Kathleen Bennett

From: Carson Davis

I’ll come to you. Your place. It’s where it all began…again.

I smile and typeback.

To: Carson Davis

From: Kathleen Bennett

See you Friday. 6p.m.

To: Kathleen Bennett

From: Carson Davis

I’ll bring thewine.

“And how doeshis evasion make you feel, Kathleen?” Dr. Madison stares at me over his spectacles as if he is analyzing my body language and every subtle twitch in my gestures.

I sigh and glance out his window. Darkness has fallen, but the moon is shining brightly, painting a beautiful path of light over the bay. “Uncomfortable. Lost. Forgotten.”

The threads at the end of my sweater’s sleeve fray even more as I pick atthem.

“Whylost?”

I close my eyes and think about the last two years. “Because I don’t want to be that woman anymore.”

“What woman?”

“The one who doesn’t care about herself, about others. The one who just goes through the motions to get through every day. I feel like now…” I shake my head, letting the emotions bubble up until I can’t keep them contained as they pour out of me like a pot boiling over. “If I have Carson, if I allow myself to focus on the good we have together, I’ll be me again. The realme.”

Tears prick against the back of my eyelids. My arm throbs as I clench my hands too tightly into fists, pain rippling up eachlimb.

“Kathleen. Look at me,” Dr. Madison says in his stern but soothingtone.

I purse my lips, let the tears fall unchecked, and focus on his gaze. His eyes are kind, gentle in a way that shows he’s loveable and honest. One of the good guys in the world. Maybe even an angel sent down from God to keep guard over lost souls likeme.

“You have come a long way since your injury happened. You have gone through hell. You did that. Why is it after you have one night with Carson, albeit a life-changing one, do you connect that with your own mental healing?”

I cringe and think about his words. I have spent years coming back from the trenches of grief and loss. Carson wasn’t there while I fought depression, anger, andfear.

He would have been had you not pushed himaway.

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