Page 34 of Fate

“What about childcare when I work? Your house will be too far to get to on time…” she says as I lead them to my truck.

“You’re quitting your job. Your job is to take care of Cora right now. I’ll find you something with one of my companies or with my family businesses. This area is history for both of you. Now where’s that piece of shit you call a car? I need to get the carseat.”

“It’s gone.” She cries, more tears pouring down her face as I open the passenger door of my truck.

“What?”

“It was parked in the back, right up against the building. All the cars next to the apartment building are toast. There might be something to salvage, but I don’t know. We can’t get to it to know forsure.”

Her brown eyes widen in fear, a fresh bout of tears wetting her pink cheeks.

I close my eyes and grind my teeth. “Fine. Let’s go to the nearest store to get her a car seat and some essentials for you both. Christ, this is such a clusterfuck,” I say, not meaning to freak her out, even though itdoes.

“I’m sorry, Carson. I’m sorry. I know this is not the way you wanted to connect to Cora. You can see I didn’t have any other option. She is your daughter. Yours and mine. I’ve been taking care of her alone for eighteen months. It’s high time you helped!” Her voice breaks, and the volcano in my chest explodes.

She is right. Cora is my responsibility. Had I known about her earlier, none of this would have ever happened. She’d already be in my life, safe and protected.

I walk around the truck and get into the driver’s seat. Misty holds our baby on her lap. Cora’s being quiet, almost pensive. Smart little girl. She knows something’s not right about the situation, and she’s reacting in a calmway.

I watch her little hands play with her mother’s long blond hair and rest her head against her chest. She stuffs a thumb right into her mouth, and I melt on the spot. What would it feel like to rock her to sleep, to give her a bath, to feed her a meal I made? Soon, I will experience all of these things. Far sooner than I ever dreamed possible.

The tripto Target was insane. First of all, it was only my second time in a Target. The last time was with Kat, over three years ago. Without sounding pretentious, my family had people who picked up the everyday necessities, and I do as well. My housekeeper purchases household items as needed.

Babies need an enormous amount ofshit.

Even with Misty assuring me one cart was enough for today and that what we bought would get the two of them through the next few days, I’m beyond baffled. A few days? It seemed like we had enough shit for a year’s stay. What the hell did I know? I had been happily living my life as a single man with no children when Misty had been busting her ass at a scummy bar, leaving my child to be cared for by God knows who in the interim. That would stop immediately. The only people who will take care of my child from here on out are her mother, me, a trusted member of my family, or a nanny from a reputable firm. And that will only be after several levels of interviews. For now, I’ll take care of them monetarily, and the rest will come withtime.

Once we get home, I bring all the bags in and drop them in the living room. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do with this stuff. Thank God, Misty dives in like a professional.

I watch her sort the diapers, wipes, baby wash, and diaper cream to one side. Then her own wash and bathroom essentials to another. Mentally I’m evaluating my extra bath. Will it be enough space for both of their things?

“I’m thinking you two should probably take the master bedroom,” I announce out of nowhere, surprising myself once again with my lack of filter.

Misty smiles softly. “That’s kind of you, but the couch will be fine. Like I said, we don’t have to stay forever, but we can make do anywhere. We’ve done it before.”

Her words grate on each and every one of my nerves.

“Misty, I don’t think you understand. The second I put my arms around Cora, she became my daughter. I’m her father. She will have everything she needs from here on out. You, as her mother, are an extension of her. You will be taken care oftoo.”

She swallows and looks away. “I tried to give her everything, you know.” Her voice cracks. “I may not have a big house like this or the money you have, but I did the best I could.” She sniffles, and her shoulders shake as she sobs silently.

Feeling like a major prick, I crawl over to where she’s crying softly into her hands. I wrap my hands around her, bringing her into my embrace. I whisper against her hairline. “Hey now, it’s going to be okay. I’m going to take care of everything. You did an amazing job. She’s perfect, Misty. Look at her.” Across the room, Cora is playfully pulling out all the books in my bookcase one at a time. I figure she can’t get hurt and they’re easy enough to put back. Plus, she’s having a great time. Once a book falls out, she squeals in delight. “She’s absolutely perfect. You did that. You.”

A warm, small hand falls over mine as I hold her. “We did that, Carson. You and me. And you’re right, she’s perfect.”

The moment feels strange. A tingling in my lower back prickles and then travels up my spine as I hold Misty, my daughter’s mother. It’s nothing like the all-encompassing peace that settles over my body and soul when I hold Kathleen, and yet it’s definitely intimate. Clearing my throat, I push her back and move away a fewfeet.

“So, um, show me what all this stuff is and let me know what we still need.” I genuinely want to know what these things are. If I’m going to be a father, I need to learn, and fast. “I already feel like I’m behind.”

Misty reaches over and clasps my hand. With a soft smile, she says, “You’re already amazing because you want her in your life. Everything else you’ll learn along the way. And don’t worry, I’ll be here to teachyou.”

“I cannot fucking believe this!”Chase roars through theline.

I cringe and shut the door to my bedroom so that Misty and Cora can’t hear my side of this conversation.

“Believe it.” My tone is gritty and raw. A lot has happened today. Going from being warm and at peace in Kathleen’s bed to changing my entire life within the blink of an eye is messing with my mind, not to mention my heart.

I told her I loved her. I finally said those words for the first time in my entire adult life, and now what? I don’t know what’s up or down, right or left. I have a child I have to take care of. And her mother. Remembering the way Misty placed her hand over mine sends a shiver of dread skittering through me. God, I hope she doesn’t want me to be anything more than a father to our daughter. Just because I moved her in doesn’t mean I’m going to be with her. I just want my daughter and her mother safe and off the streets.

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