Page 11 of Fate

When am I ever going to find myself again?

“Good night, Sweetcheeks.”I hear whispers through my psyche. His whispers, the only voice I long tohear.

I openmy eyes to red curls and blue eyes. Claire is lying right next to me, her head on the pillow level with mine. Her nose is only a few inches frommine.

“Auntie Kitty, you need to take a boy out of my mommy’s belly and hide it.” Her eyes get big as she whispers conspiratorially in her three-year-old voice.

I chuckle and kiss her nose. “Honey, I can’t dothat.”

She scrunches up her entire face, looking distraught. “But you wike boys. You wike my bruh-ver, CarCar.”

If my arm worked better, I’d grip her around the waist and tug her close so I could snuggle her. Man, I wish I could do that. I choke down the sorrow the thought brings and focus on the very serious-looking Claire.

“What’s so bad about boys? You and Carter have a great time playing together.”

She pouts. “Yeah, but he won’t pway dolls and Barbies and doesn’t wike to cohwor wif me. A sister would.”

I tap my chin. “This is true. But it just means you get all the dolls and all the Barbies to yourself. You get to keep the best color crayons and markers. You know how your brother presses too hard and messes themup?”

Her expression turns thoughtful. “Yeah. He does that!” she says loudly, as if it’s just dawned onher.

“If you have another sister, she’ll want to touch all your stuff, play with all your toys, wear all those pretty dresses I madeyou…”

Claire gasps. “But those are fer me!” Her eyebrows draw together.

“Very true. And you know how cousin Anabelle and Dannica fight about their stuff?”

Her little mouth opens in a tinyO.

I can already see the wheels spinning in hermind.

“If you have a brother, he’ll want all of Carter’s stuff. Not yours.”

“You fink?” She squints at me, disbelief rife in hergaze.

“Iknow.”

“Auntie Kitty?”

“Yes, honey.”

“Don’t take my new bruh-ver. I decided I wanthim.”

I lean over and kiss her face and blow raspberries against her neck, making her giggle like mad. Man, I adore the sound of a child’s laughter. If someone could bottle it up, it would cure the entire world’s ailments. Definitely mine…for today.

“You gonna get upnow?”

“Yeah, honey.” I sit up without thinking about the fact I’m only wearing my camisole and a pair of undies. The sheet falls, and my entire arm is out in the open, visible to very impressionableeyes.

Claire sits up and points at my arm. “Ouchy boo! Auntie. You hurt!” She leans closer, slanting her head to theside.

My heart is about ready to pound out of my chest, and sweat prickles against my hairline.

No. Please God, no.

I try to pull the sheet back up and overit.

Claire grabs it, pulling it away. “Wemme see!” She moves closer.