Page 47 of Fate

Chapter Eleven

Kathleen

“Enough about me.”I wave my hand in the air, sit back, and cross my arms. “I know very little about what you’ve been upto.”

Carson wipes his mouth after finishing the second piece of lasagna, leans back, and rubs a hand over his face. He looks tired, ravaged by something he’s not yet sharing. It’s a hard pill to swallow that the man I’ve never stopped loving is holding on to something painful and not allowing me to relieve his burden. It’s like the ghost of our bond is knocking at the door and neither of us is capable of nor ready to openit.

“Uh, as far as work goes, I’ve been investing in some new endeavors. Green resources, which could affect the state of California by reducing our carbon footprint in ways we haven’t yet dreamedof.”

“Oh?” Environmental concerns were always something Carson and I had in common.

“Yeah, the company I’m working with is mimicking the Swedish garbage-disposal system. They have a process where they can burn the non-recyclable garbage and produce steam from the moisture content in the trash. That steam powers a turbine that creates usable energy. Best part, the smoke it emits is ninety-nine percent nontoxic. It’s really quite genius.”

“Seriously?” I lean my elbows on the table.

Carson nods. “Americans are the leader in energy waste worldwide. This system could decrease landfill waste by forty-eight percent in the first ten years.”

The provocative lilt of Carson’s voice and the passion he exudes when he speaks of a new project has an electrical buzz of energy humming low in my belly. I’ve always been in love with his keen mind as much his body, heart, and soul. “Wow. That’s incredible. And you’re fundingit?”

He shrugs. “Yeah, I’ve invested heavily. So have Chase and my father. We’ve got to do something, and this plan could give our state—hell, our nation—a new plan for two major environmental problems. Waste management and energy creation.”

I run my finger around the lip of my glass, thinking about how this could also benefit his bottom line if he’s invested in the initial creation of this product or system. “And I’ll bet a lot of Fortune 500 companies need something stellar to invest in and put their green stamp on.” I smile, getting to the bonus of this genius plan he’s committingto.

The smile he returns breaks from ear-to-ear. “There isthat.”

Carson leans back and rubs his thumb over his bottom lip. What I wouldn’t give to be that lip right now. Just sitting here is making my heart beat faster, desire pool low in my belly, and arousal wet my panties.

“You always were one smart cookie,” hesays.

I smirk, trying to ward off this needy ache building in my system. Being this close and having knocked back a couple glasses of wine has only increased my desire forhim.

“I’m just glad you and your family are finding new and inventive ways to make the environment a priority and effect real change.”

He lifts the remainder of his wine in the air. “Glad you approve, Sweetcheeks.”

We clink our glasses together and sip. Instantly I’m struck with how easy it is to talk like this. About anything. Aside from whatever he’s holding back, Carson has always been someone with whom I can discuss the complexities of my day, share in his investments, and both of us provide real, honest, well-thought-out opinions. It’s refreshing.

“I miss this,” Carson says abruptly.

I narrow my gaze. “What?”

“Just being with you. Having dinner. Ending my day with an insightful discussion. It’s nice. I haven’t had that in a long time.” He twirls the stem of the glass from left to right andback.

He takes another sip of wine, his expression thoughtful as he gazes over the rim and focuses his attention onme.

“It is nice. But why haven’t you had anyone to talk to? You can’t tell me you’ve been celibate all these years.” The space around my heart tightens with the thought he’s had other women while I have been celibate. It hurts, but it’s a part of our past I’m not able to change. The only important point is moving forward.

Carson sighs and adjusts his seat, moving closer, his hands now resting only a few inches from mine on the table. “No, I can’t say I have. But you’ve got to know those women were scratches for an itch. I haven’t had anything serious sinceyou.”

The sincerity in his tone surprises me. It’s hard to believe this man—this handsome, honest-to-God supreme catch—didn’t find anyone to commit to in the last two years. He’s not the kind of man who hits it and quits it. At least he wasn’t when I started dating him. “Really? No one special?”

Without even blinking, he grabs my hand and runs a devilish thumb down the center of my palm. Sparks dance up my arm from my hand. I gasp and bite my lip to prevent the moan aching to getout.

“Kathleen…” Carson dips his head closer to mine so we’re close enough to breathe each other’s air. “What we have only happens once in a lifetime. It’s not something easily replaced. Not that I wanted to. Though it would have been easier to move on if I’d been able to get overyou.”

I clench his hand tighter on instinct. “And did you?” My voice is but a whisper, and barely enough air leaves my lips to make sound. “Did you eventually get over me… Over us?” I swallow the dry, scratchy lump that has appeared in my throat.

Carson abruptly stands up and tugs me against his chest. I slam into him, my breasts squashed against the powerful plate of his torso. Our hips are aligned, and I can feel him thickening, growing in the space between us. Without saying a word, he tunnels one hand into my hair, the other firmly cupping my ass and lifting me so I can truly feel every inch of his rock-hard length. It’s comforting to know he’s just as affected by me as I amhim.

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