Page 69 of Life

“That we do,” Eli says, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

Both of his parents clock the move and respond the exact opposite of the way I expect. Marion smiles and takes a deep breath, looking up into the open sky. Jeremy winks at me and then opens the door. That’s it. The only one feeling strange and out of place is me. These people have accepted this shift between Eli and me without a hateful word or any variety of accusations they could have thrown. I would have gladly accepted any lashings for any pain the decisions I’ve made have caused to their hearts, but it doesn’t seem to be a problem.

I don’t get it, but I’m not about to bring it up right now.

Eli leads me into the house. A house I’ve been to more times in the last year than I have fingers and toes. It still smells of gun oil and Tommy’s wintery shaving cream. A pang of guilt and grief hits me like a linebacker, and I take a step back, the air in my lungs restricting painfully. Eli holds me from behind, both hands a comforting weight on my shoulders. He leans toward my neck.

“You going to be okay? You don’t have to do this with us. I can call Davis or one of my guys to pick you up.”

I shake my head instantly. “No. I need to do this. It’s all part of the process. If I don’t, I’ll grieve him forever. As it is, I’ll have a living, breathing reminder in you.” I hold up my hand, gesturing to his beautiful face.

Marion comes over to me and tags my waist. “How about we start with the bedroom? You can box up anything of yours and anything you’d like to keep,” she says while leading me down the hall. It’s a trip I’ve taken a bunch of times, only usually thrown over Tommy’s shoulders or alone, waiting for him to come home from one of his cases. Typically, those nights I’d find out I’d slept alone, and we’d cross paths while I was heading out to rehearsal and he was finally heading to bed.

When we get to the room, it’s exactly as I remember it, even though it’s been close to two months since I’ve been here. My things are only in a few places, so I grab one of the medium-sized open boxes on the bed and go to the closet. There’s a handful of my things hanging which I pull off, fold, and toss into the box.

“Maria dear, can I ask you a question?” Marion’s voice shakes, and I tighten my hands into fists, digging my nails into the sensitive skin, prepping myself for the emotional devastation this woman can so easily bring down on me.

“I’d be surprised if you didn’t,” I say, gathering my underthings from the single drawer Tommy allotted me and tossing them into the box.

I watch through the dresser mirror as she paces from one side of the bed to the other, a hand at her neck, just like Eli. He must have picked up that trait from her. “Well, it’s… You know, this thing between you and Elijah…”

Swallowing down my guilt, I turn around. “Mama Redding… Marion…look, Eli and I didn’t expect for this to happen. I certainly never in a million years would have willingly fallen for Tommy’s brother, but I couldn’t stop it, either, nor do I want to, and I…”

“Then you’re not with him out of respect for Thomas’s last wishes?” Her question comes out in a rush of emotion.

I cringe and blink a few times. “What are you talking about?”

“Thomas’s letter to us clearly stated his wish was for you to meet Elijah. He made it crystal clear he wanted Jeremy and I to play matchmaker.”

I roll my eyes. “Jesucristo, Tommy. Always trying to make everyone happy.” I plop down on the bed and rub at my forehead. “No, my hand to God, I’m not with Eli because of Tommy’s dying wishes.”

Marion smiles so huge at the same time tears fall from her eyes. “Then we don’t lose you, too. And because of you, we get our son back.” She pulls me into her arms for another warm embrace.

This time I cry with her. “I’m sorry, so sorry about Tommy. I never wanted anything like that to ever happen, and I was so worried you’d think I was some kind of street walker because of how close Eli and I have become since Tommy’s death.” The words are rushing out of my mouth so fast I can’t even keep up.

Marion cups my cheeks. “You poor, poor dear. We don’t get to choose who we love. Timing doesn’t matter if the person is your soul mate. I’ve seen you with Thomas, and I knew you weren’t meant for him. He might have thought otherwise, which is unfortunate. Now, Elijah… That boy of mine is a wild card. Lives life burning through every second as though his hair is on fire.” She chuckles. “My Thomas never kept a head of hair. Too much fuss. Well, life is fussy and you, my dear, are also a wild card.”

“So you’re not mad that I’m with Eli now…after everything?”

She takes my hand into hers. “No, dear. It means my odds of keeping you in my family have doubled, and I’d bet on those odds.”

I close my eyes against the tears brought on by the joy of having this woman, thisfamily, this set of men in my life. It’s beyond overwhelming. “I cared for Tommy. I did. You know I did.”

Marion pulls her head back and pats my cheek. “Yes, dear. I know you did. But you love my Elijah. I can see it in your eyes every time I mention his name. It means you met the wrong man first. I’m just glad we don’t lose you, too. Plus, with Elijah with you, I’m bound to see my son more often. And now that we’ve lost Thomas, it’s more important than ever we all stick together.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” I whisper and hug her again. “Gracias, Mama Redding. Thank you for being you.”

Chapter Seventeen

My second glassof wine goes down the hatch in a flash of scrumptious cherry and plum flavors. I lick my lips, allowing the swirling notes of my favorite wine to tease and taunt my taste buds before I set the glass down on the nightstand. “I’m sorry you can’t have any vino,gatito.” I puff out my bottom lip and pat Kathleen’s ankle where she’s recuperating in her bed.

In the next few months, she’ll complete the healing process from the last grafting surgeries and then go in for more. Apparently, it’s going to be a series of surgeries to smooth out the burned flesh on her right arm, side, and neck. Even now, she has bandages up her neck to her ear and down under her nightgown where I can’t see.

“You’re the only one drinking, you lush puppy!” Bree says snidely. Pregnancy has not made my petite soul sister happy.

Gillian rubs her tiny bump. “I don’t mind. I’m so happy nothing can get me down. The doctors said I’m officially in my second trimester and both babies are perfect in size, the heartbeats are strong, and I’m healthy. I finally feel as if I have something to look forward to.”

Kat smiles wide and leans her head back against the pillow. We can tell she’s tired, but she’s putting up a valiant effort to enjoy this evening. It’s been a while since the four of us were together outside a hospital.